I’m naming my baby after my mother-in-law, not my mother – people say we need to stop ‘pussyfooting’
Choosing a name for your child is not easy. It can be even harder when you decide to honor family members.
An expectant mother explained that she had a dilemma about her daughter’s name.
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In a after On Mumsnet, the user said she wanted to name her baby after her mother-in-law.
However, she was concerned that her own mother would not be happy with the decision.
“I have two other children and all their middle names are honorary names. I want the same for our third and final child,” she explains.
“I’m now thinking of using my mother-in-law’s name as the middle name for this baby.”
The poster was concerned that it would be “odd” to mention her husband’s mother but not her own mother.
She shared more information about the relationship she has with her mother and explained why she didn’t want to honor her.
“I have a very close relationship with my mother now, but when I was growing up, we had a very complicated relationship because of her own issues, and I didn’t take care of her for most of my childhood,” she said.
“Even though we are close now, it doesn’t feel right to name my child after her because of the complexity.”
She added that it would be disrespectful to her father and the other family members who raised her.
The Mumsnet user also explained that her daughter will be her mother-in-law’s last grandchild and “the only one to be named after her.”
“I know it would mean so much to her and she is a very involved grandmother to all the children,” she said.
Other Mumsnet users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments section.
“I think there’s a good chance your mother will be hurt and it will disrupt your current relationship with her,” one reader wrote.
“Since the others have two middle names, you can honor your mother and mother-in-law,” someone else said.
“I don’t think it’s worth upsetting your own mother to honor your mother-in-law.”
The Struggle of Choosing a Baby Name
CHLOE Morgan, a senior writer at Fabulous, has revealed her dilemma when choosing a baby name…
I’m 35 weeks pregnant and the hardest part of pregnancy these past few months (apart from the insomnia and countless nighttime wetting!) has been coming up with a baby name.
The dilemmas are endless…
My partner and I had a private ultrasound to find out the gender as early as possible. Part of the reason for this was that we thought it would make choosing a baby name a lot easier, as we would only have to come up with a list of names for one gender instead of two.
How wrong we were…
I was overjoyed to find out I was pregnant with the baby girl I had dreamed of for so long. But because I was one of the last friends to get pregnant, I have had countless conversations with excited friends over the years about their favorite baby names…something I would like to undo without ever having heard.
Every friend comes up with at least 10 possible nicknames and I can’t help but feel like more names are out of the question, even though I know no one would object. It’s just my own problem!
This debate comes up over and over again on social media: can you choose the same name that was a ‘potential’ name for your friend’s baby?
It’s a very divisive topic and opinions are always divided. And I don’t want to be THAT person.
While some argue that there are thousands of other names to choose from, others say that you should choose YOUR favorite. After all, there is no guarantee that person will ever have a child.
Then there’s the matter of finding a name you love… and then doing some research online and reading one negative comment among hundreds of positive ones that you just can’t let go of.
I made that same mistake when I fell in love with a certain name (I won’t tell because I don’t want to ruin it for others!)… and then I saw someone point out that the name constantly autocorrects on a phone to something rather rude.
So we went back to the drawing board.
Only five more weeks and it looks like our little girl will be called ‘baby girl’ for a while longer!
Others, however, saw no problem and encouraged the poster to choose whatever name she wanted.
“Just call her your mother-in-law. There’s no need to beat around the bush,” one commenter noted.
“No, not weird at all. Both are grandmothers to your child, who really don’t care if it’s the mother’s or father’s line. Just use whichever one you like best,” another reader suggested.
“I don’t see a problem. She may be a little annoyed, but it can’t come as a surprise to her that you don’t want to name a child after her,” one person wrote.
“Give your child a name that makes you smile when you write it down on forms because it reminds you of someone wonderful,” said another Mumsnet user.
