I saw fear in the eyes of Bianca Censori while she unveiled her fur coat of her nude body of the world during the Grammy Awards on Sunday.
I believe that I can recognize the body language of a woman deep in the grip of an insulting relationship.
For three years I lived in a coercion and controlling partnership – in which my friend used manipulation, intimidation and other cruel tactics to dominate almost every aspect of my life.
The experience questioned me my reality, my value and even my own common sense.
At the time, I was a successful entrepreneur in my late 1930s, who had excavated the reality -TV show Shark Tank in 2011 by winning the Reality -TV Show Shark Tank.
I succeeded, closing deals and … I thought I knew how to read people. I was wrong.
I saw fear in the eyes of Bianca Censori while she took her fur coat and revealed her nude body to the world during the Grammy Awards on Sunday.
For three years I lived in a coercion and controlling partnership, in which my friend used manipulation, intimidation and other cruel tactics to dominate almost every aspect of my life. (Depicted: Hathcock cracked).
Just like Bianca, who met Kanye for the first time in 2020 when she worked as an architectural designer for its fashion company Yeezy, I was also professionally involved with my ex. (Bianca and Kanye are depicted in Italy).
Just like Bianca, who met Kanye for the first time in 2020 when she worked as an architectural designer for its fashion company Yeezy, I was also professionally involved with my ex.
My friend was charming and respected in my industry and among my friends.
Only now do I recognize that I was the underdog from the first day. He was the much older, apparently wiser, mentor.
Looking at Bianca last week, my heart hurt a well -known feeling of fear.
I recognized their difference in power, which – in my experience – I can lead to the calm compliance of one partner, a kind of subordination that comes from fear and psychological crush, not love.
Of course I don't know Kayne West or Bianco Censori. And I cannot claim to have some special insight into their relationship. But this is my impression of viewing and reading media attention of the couple.
Professional lure readers have now analyzed the interaction of Kanye and Censori on the red carpet that evening.
“You are making a scene now,” said the 47-year-old rapper to the 30-year-old Censori. She nodded in accordance.
Allegedly West then encouraged her and said: 'Make a scene. I will say it will be so logical. '
Censori shook her head inside and the West would reportedly pushed and said, “I have you.”
She eventually helped and replied, “Okay, let's go,” and she dropped her jacket.
For me, 'compulsive control' did not start with fists or anger. It started with worship, the kind that feels all consuming.
I felt special, chosen, as if no one else in the world could ever understand me the way my friend did. But slow, creepy, that attention became suffocating.
Decisions that were once mine – with whom I wore, with whom I spoke, where I went – it becomes important of his 'concern'. He would be concerned about ways that seemed caring, but in reality they broke down my autonomy.
“Are you sure you want to wear that?”
“I just don't trust other people around you.”
“I just want what is best for you.”
Every explanation sounded innocent enough, even protective. But over time I noticed that I preventively changed my choices, avoid conflicts and keep secrets of friends and family to retain peace.
My independence shrunk and I didn't even realize that it happened.
Kanye seems to encourage Censori to dress provocatively, but he once seemed to act differently towards ex-wife Kim Kardashian.
In an episode of 2019 from Keeping Up With The Kardashians, he criticized Kim's made to size, nude -colored Corset, just a few hours before she would appear at Gala in New York City.
“A corset is like a form of underwear,” Kanye told Haar. “It's hot. It's so, it's hot for whom? '
“The night before the with, are you going to come in here and say that you don't keep a corset bust?” Kim asked him. “I get really bad fear. What are you talking about? '
“You are my wife, and it influences me as pictures are too sexy,” Kanye went on, where Kim is agree on pointing: “You have built me ââto this sexy person and trust and all these things.”
Kanye left the room in a huff.
Looking at Bianca last week, my heart hurt a well -known feeling of fear. I recognized their difference in power, which – in my experience – can lead to the calm compliance of one partner. (Kanye and Bianca are depicted in 2023).
In an episode of 2019 from Keeping Up With The Kardashians, he criticized Kim's made to size, nude -colored Corset, just a few hours before she would appear at Gala in New York City. (Kim and Kanye are depicted that year at Gala with Gala).
His ex Julia Fox also claimed that he told her what to wear.
In her memoirs from 2023 in the drain, the model writes that her whirlwind of months of relationship with Kanye, which she mentions as 'the artist', was a 'game' of 'sick and twisted' control.
In short, after the relationship started in 2022, Fox claims that Kanye “appointed a team” to work on her wardrobe – a team that quickly stopped her opinion about what she would wear.
The most meaningful sign of compulsory control is indeed how the self -expression of a person starts to change.
In my relationship I got 'suggestions' about what I had to wear, how to do my hair and how I could present myself. Over time, those suggestions rules were spoken and unspoken.
The transformation of Censori was grim, and although personal reinvention is a natural part of life, coercion often disguises itself as a choice.
When the image, speech and behavior of a person all shifts in ways that match the preferences of a controlling partner, this increases red flags.
In my case I lost my sense of style, my voice, my individuality.
Perhaps the most insidious part of compulsory control is that the victim often seems complicit.
People ask: “Why don't you just leave?” Or “Why do you let him treat him like that?”
What they do not understand is that compulsive control reprograms your mind. You don't see yourself as a victim; You see yourself as part of a unity, a partnership that only you and your partner can understand.
Departing is not just going on the door.
By the time I could leave, I had to reconstruct my entire identity. I had to learn again how I could make decisions for myself, how I could trust my own instincts, how to believe that my thoughts and choices were going. The longer you stay, the harder it gets.
One of the reasons why compulsive control is so dangerous is that it can often be invisible to outsiders.
In public my partner was charismatic and even affectionate.
Nobody would have suspected what happened behind closed doors.
The question is not only about what happens when the cameras roll, but what happens if they are not.
When the doors close and not watching the world?
Forced control is a form of abuse that does not leave bruises but also destroys lives the same. It can happen to anyone – smart, independent, successful people included.
His ex Julia Fox also claimed that he told her what to wear. In her memoirs from 2023 in the drain, the model writes that her whirlwind of months of relationship with Kanye, which she mentions as 'the artist', was a 'game' of 'sick and twisted' control. (Shown: Julia and Kanye)
I survived, but I lost years of my life in the process. After I had submitted a street ban against my ex, I had to rebuild from the ground.
For every person who feels that they have a compulsive relationship, my message is this: you are not alone and the abuse you go through is not your fault. Your thoughts, your choices and your voice matter. Love should never feel like a cage.
If you recognize these signs in your own life, know that there is a way out.
The most important thing is that, regardless of when you choose to walk away, it is the right time.
