The spring break is broken.
Take it away from me. For years, as a host for MTV, I have had the annual pilgrimage of Bleke and Horny Fratjongens of America's colder climates over the warm and sunny pieces of Florida beach – the home of the Great American Race.
But things took a turn in the nineties. The predatory local officials of the Redneck Riviera came to call. And Panama City Beach started lobbying MTV to help their dingy diving bars change into the new outdoor stations of good old, unclear American pleasure.
So the network I and colleague -video -Jockey Steve Isaacs from New York City flew in the south for a test run of their most notorious festive areas, Club La Vela and Spinnaker.
I will never forget to introduce the rock band Shrub In 1996 in the middle of a thunderstorm. It is a frontman Gavin Rossdale's most iconic versions.
After the band refused to play reasonable fears for electrocution, Rossdale went up solo – Glycerine For the weeks hurdles.
It is a piece for the spring break to be proud of. But that was a time when music was everything and MTV was an indelible part of the age.
Now they are all punks and stunts. You are more likely to leave a holiday with a Scot wound and recipe cream than a guitar choice from your favorite Grunge act.
Look no further than Rode-Hard-Porno Princess Bonnie Blue, famous for bedding 1,058 boys in one day.
This Lil 'Angel was kicked from Fiji and Australia for her sex ploits. Now she is doing the horizontal Cancan in Cancun, and offers generously to compensate for the tuition fees of every young man who agrees to be her latest boy's toys.
Look no further than Rode-Hard-Porno Princess Bonnie Blue (photo), famous for bedding 1,058 boys in one day.
Kennedy interviews Stripper Group 'Manpower Australia' in 1995 for MTV.
“I will pay to the tuition fees of the spring breaker that gives me the best orgasm,” she said.
How sweet! But can you imagine a promising young man who shares the providence of that financial windfall with their mother?
Son: “Mama, great news … I have a fair!”
Mother: 'That's great honey! Was it from your good figures or services to the community? '
Son: 'Neither! I had sexual intercourse with a sex fluencer. '
Look guys, take it from a veteran for the spring break, you are doing this completely wrong.
I was also young, stupid and full of enthusiasm. But graciously live many of my most filthy stories only in distorted memories.
(During a spring break, a naughty Cali party band lead singer from the 90s, Rendez-Vouder with, not one, but two of my online MTV colleagues.)
Now smartphones and social media not only document these dipstick adventures for posterity, but they are also making even more mean and destructive acts.
I don't know how America returns to the spring break of yesteryear 10 cash-stuffed children who were looking for cheap recordings and sunburn, went through a 12-hour road trip to pack in a dirty hotel room.
Most likely that more Innocent days have disappeared forever. But it is dangerous and, to be honest, disgusting for our young people to sink in this overview in this overview, cyber-driven hysteria.
I take the 90s every spring.
Snow black noted
Snow woke up, the 23-year-old Rachel Zegler, was 'essentially blacklisted' by Hollywood after bleating about 'sexism' in classic Disney films and other progressive clap trap.
Her politically correct remake of Snow White and the seven dwarfs have even replaced dwarf actors with CGI-character's eliminating seven good jobs.
I bet that poison apples look pretty good for Disney execs at the moment.
Snow woke up, the 23-year-old Rachel Zegler (photo), was 'essentially blacklisted' by Hollywood after blhat about 'sexism' in classic Disney films and other such progressive clap trap.
Blake deadly
Speaking of icy feud, the vibes in between Another simple favor Co-star Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick are hilarious glacial.
Pitch perfect Diva Kendrick broke last week when she was asked about duulating lawsuits between the former Gossip Grizzly and Justin 'Man Bun' Baldoni.
“Why what happened? I did ayahuasca and the last year of my life when I was just gone, “she said.
And how does Blake work, asked reporters.
“Oh, you know,” she replied.
Yes, we do that. If only this was a bad journey.
Speaking of icy feud, the vibes between 'another simple favor' co-star Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick are hilarious glacial.
Dirty water
Dylan Mulvaney, the beer-swilling trans-activist who almost dropped Bud Light, takes a last stab on relevance in her new memoir 'Paper Doll'.
The book is better toilet paper than reading material, but one passage really jumped out.
Dippy Dylan writes about taking 'a last best friendbad' with a friend who is married to the man.
I think that with 'friends' as Dylan is always squeaking.
Stupid brunette
Former Joe Biden Fanboy-Backstabber George Clooney has weakened his sexy silver mane.
He greeted fans in New York City this week outside his new Broadway show 'Good Night and Good Luck', wore a painted brown bonnet that corresponded to the flowing locks of his brutal woman.
George is the method acting – or hides for furious dems, who blame him for stabbing them with Kamala.
Former Joe Biden Fanboy-Backstabber George Clooney greeted fans in New York City this week, with a painted brown bonnet that corresponds to the pouring locks of his brutal woman.
Waxed rosie
Trump-Hating Blowhard Rosie O'Donnell made good vows to leave America when Donald was re-elected … and 10 In-n-out hamburger Restaurants immediately went bankrupt.
“If it is safe for all citizens to have equal rights there in America, then we will consider coming back,” O'Blather said in an unbearable video of 9 minutes from Ireland.
Oh Rosie, it's so unsafe here. Never come back. And take Sharon Stone, Cher and your former View Harpies with you.
Out of the road
Not satisfied with limiting the competition, Virginia High School Track Loser and Bludgeoner Alaila Everett accused now that we believe she is the victim.
Alaila Beaned Kaelen Tucker with her stick during an relay. But let alone Kaelen's skull. Alaila's feelings are hurt!
“Everyone has feelings,” she moaned. 'So you are physically injured, but you don't think about my mental [health]. '
Oh, you're good.
Ulgigarchs
It has been an ugly stock season for the harvest of billionaires who stood in line to support Donald Trump.
The richest in the world – who moaned Democrats, would take advantage of their new alliance – reportedly lost more than $ 200 billion in combined wealth since Trump's inauguration.
The personal straw man of Senator Elizabeth Warren, Elon Musk, has paid more than $ 150 billion in the assets.
I know it is difficult for the Liz Warrens of America to wrap their heads. But perhaps, perhaps, Elon was involved with the government to help the country?
