Jennifer Lopez breaks her silence on her split with Ben Affleck

Jennifer Lopez has broken her silence on her split from Ben Affleck after just two years of marriage and their second attempt at making things work after their romance first hit the rocks in 2004.

The 55-year-old singer, who looks beautiful in leopard print on the cover of Interview magazine to celebrate his 55th birthday and go topless in the inside spread, describing her turmoil as “sad” and “scary.”

The diva looked sensational in animal print bikinis as she spoke about it with Nikki Glaser her life ‘blowing up’ in her face this year and the life lessons she still has to learn, even though she hasn’t used Ben’s name; Jen and Ben split in April and she filed for divorce on August 20, their two-year wedding anniversary.

And then the 55-year-old songbird said she had to be alone again after leaving Ben: “You have to be healthy. You have to be complete if you want something more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to say, ‘I need to get away and be alone. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.”

But the artist has no regrets: ‘Not for a second. That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost disable me for good. That was almost true.’

Lopez also said during her in-depth interview that she isn’t currently hoping to date anyone else: “I’m not looking for anyone.’

Jennifer Lopez has broken her silence on her divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage

The star, who modeled leopard print for the cover of Interview magazine to celebrate its 55th anniversary, said it was ‘sad, scary’

When Nikki asked if the breakup was “hard,” JLo replied, “Yes, it’s fucking hard!”

And she feels sad.

‘It feels lonely, unknown, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate,” the Can’t Get Enough singer noted.

“But if you sit in those feelings and say, ‘These things aren’t going to kill me,’ it’s like I’m capable of joy and happiness on my own. Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t look for happiness in other people. I must have happiness within myself. I used to say I’m a happy person, but I was still looking for something to fill someone else, and it’s like, ‘No, I’m actually good.’

When talking about her “lessons,” she said it is a “lifelong process.”

“I think that’s what I love about life, that there’s no end point,” the Bronx beauty said.

‘You can only get better and grow if you want to. It grows or dies, and I don’t want to do the dying part.

“And yes, there are times when I thought I had it figured out, and then life goes, ‘Let’s send you something else and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really learned that lesson.” And I didn’t have that.

“I understand that in a much deeper way now, which doesn’t mean I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, if your whole house blows up, you stand there in the rubble and you ask, ‘How are you doing?’ I will never let that happen again?”

The diva looked sensational in animal print bikinis as she spoke to Nikki Glaser about her crazy summer

The Atlas actress opened up about her life “blowing up” in her face this year and the life lessons she still has to learn, even though she hasn’t used Ben’s name

Seen with Ben when they were engaged in 2003, left, and her at the premiere of his film Unstoppable at TIFF, right

“And then you start to examine it little by little and you say, ‘Okay, I did this, this was my part in it, this is what I should have seen early on, this is what I didn’t look at.’ Those are the real lessons.’

But without mentioning the end of her marriage to Affleck, she said she hadn’t learned her lesson.

‘The work is figuring yourself out. “It’s looking back at the underlying feelings and beliefs we have about ourselves that cause us to make certain choices and create certain patterns in our lives,” she said.

“And so, when you get to a point where you think you’ve learned the lessons, and then it blows up in your face again, you realize, ‘Okay, I didn’t do that, so what is it that I have to do?’ ‘ now look?” I would say never stop looking inward because it is so easy to blame everyone else.”

And then she said she had to be alone again after leaving Ben: “But you have to be healthy. You have to be complete if you want something more complete’

She added: “You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to say, ‘I need to get away and be alone. I want to prove to myself that I can do that”

When Nikki asked if that was “hard,” JLo replied, “Yes, it’s damn hard!”

And she feels sad. ‘It feels lonely, unknown, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate,” the Can’t Get Enough singer noted

Lopez then said her flaws should also be loved while addressing “boundaries.”

“Someone who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself. That’s what I learned about love: that it is something safe. You make me feel safe, and if I don’t make it to glory, you understand me and help me get better, because you have your limits and I have my limits.”

When Glaser said, “Now it looks to me like you have a new bar for the next person who comes along,” Lopez snapped back, “The thing is, there’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anyone. How’s that?’

Jennifer also said that this is the first time she has ever said that as a single woman, adding, “You know what? For people who are romantics and like to have relationships and grow old with someone, we think, “I need that to be whole and happy.” And not you.’

And she added that it took 30 years to reach this place.

As for all the negative comments about her divorce, she says she can handle it even though she’s “not Teflon” because it can hurt sometimes.

Towards the end of the interview, Nikki asks Jennifer again about the end of her marriage.

“You have no regrets about the pain you just went through,” Glaser said.

As for Ben’s new film Unstoppable, in which she stars, she said it is “really beautiful.” “I made the movie because it was such an inspiring story, and it was a Latino story.”

‘Not for a second. That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost disable me for good. That was almost true. But now, on the other hand, I’m thinking to myself, “F***, that’s exactly what I needed. Thank you, God. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me real hard in the head with a goddamn sledgehammer. You brought the house down on me. You don’t have to do it again.”

Glaser then said, “You finally got it.”

The Maid In Manhattan actress agreed: “I finally got it! And that doesn’t mean that I have figured everything out yet. Now I get excited when you say you’re on your own. Yeah, I’m not looking for anyone because everything I’ve done for the last 25, 30 years, in these different challenging situations, what can I do if I fly alone. ‘

Lopez also spoke about canceling her summer tour: “I’m glad I did that because it was a very difficult time for me. Probably the hardest time of my life, but it was also the best time because I got to do that work on myself.”

As for Ben’s new film Unstoppable, in which she stars, she said it is “really beautiful.”

“I made the movie because it was such an inspiring story, and it was a Latino story. It’s about Anthony Robles, a wrestler born with one leg, and how he defied the odds in his sport. “I play his mother, who had him when she was 16,” she said.

And she saw the film at TIFF. “I saw it all done for the first time with audiences in Toronto, and people loved it and really responded to the emotion of the film. It’s one of those great inspirational stories that I think the world needs right now.”