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Jon Stewart went live Thursday as host of “The Daily Show” and recapped the debate between President Biden and Donald Trump. Stewart wasn’t in the best of moods.
It started off strong: “Both men are ambulatory. They’re both standing. Level one has been reached,” Stewart joked over a clip of the contestants taking the stage. But it wasn’t long before the host said he had to “call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”
One rambling Biden response — ending with the non sequitur “We finally defeated Medicare” — left Stewart staring into the camera in horror.
“Okay, a high-pressure situation. You can often confuse saving Medicare with defeating it. I’m sure this isn’t something that will repeat itself throughout the debate, causing Democrats across the country to jump out of windows or quietly throw up into the nearest trash can. Everyone can do it [expletive] “get up to talk.” —JON STEWART
“I’m no political expert, but while Biden was preparing for a week at Camp David — did anyone mention that he would also be on camera?” —JON STEWART
“A lot of people have a resting 25th Amendment face.” —JON STEWART
Stewart also criticized Trump for his many lies.
“To be clear, everything Donald Trump said in that clip is a lie,” he said after a montage. “Shameful and full. And we had little time to post this. [expletive] together. There’s a lot more. You really wonder, What’s RFK Jr. doing tonight?”
“Let me just say that after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be taking performance-enhancing drugs, as much of them as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs are going to enhance their clarity, their ability to solve problems, and in either candidate’s case, their truthfulness, their morality, and their malignant narcissism, then throw the suppository away. —JON STEWART
