It's never too late to be a style influencer

“It's Never Too Late” is a series that tells the stories of people who decide to pursue their dreams on their own terms.

Lyn Slater will be the first to tell you that her life has been a series of happy accidents and purposeful metamorphoses.

“Because I constantly reinvent myself, my life is always a surprise. I'm an improvisation person. I don't plan. I am very much in the moment,” said Ms. Slater, 70, a former professor of social work at Fordham University in New York. “That thought has served me well. It has provided endless adventures, surprises, incredible friendships and profound learning experiences.”

Indeed.

In 2014, she took a handful of creative classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology in Manhattan. Her professor in a class on opening a vintage clothing store suggested she start a fashion blog. Ms. Slater, who is from Dobbs Ferry in the Westchester County suburb and moved to New York City in the mid-1990s, thought, “Why not.” She had always had a passion and flair for style and was often mistaken for being part of the fashion industry. She thought she would focus on the blog and that theme.

“I dressed in a way that people didn't expect. I was very avant-garde and dressed in a minimalist, black and white look. I wore Japanese designers from consignment stores, like Issey Miyake and Yohji Yamamoto,” she explained. “I dressed in a way that I felt, and to convey an identity.”

After a fellow student in her class suggested calling herself the Accidental Icon, Ms. Slater adopted the title and acquired a website and blog domain with that name. Posting three times a week, she usually composed introspective pieces about clothing and designers, and the integral role these two topics played in her life. Often she would wear a piece of clothing and write an essay “about the designer's inspiration and how I felt wearing it,” she said.

The accompanying photos were taken by her longtime partner, Calvin Lom, 66, a retired cyclotron engineer. (Today the couple lives in Peekskill, NY) A five-year stint as a sought-after fashion influencer – @iconaccidental on Instagram – was her next big thing career step.

Then came the identity crisis and loss of self.

Her triumphs, transformations and problems, not to mention her truths, are told within her book, “How to Be Old: Lessons in Living Boldly From the Accidental Icon,” to be published in March by Plume, an imprint of Penguin Random House.

“The book is a compilation of essays from the time I turned 60 in 2013 to the present,” says Ms Slater. 'It's a book about reinvention and things I've learned. How I accidentally became an icon, and experiences that happened to me. It culminates when I have this crisis of values.

(The following interview has been edited and condensed.)

How did you go from full-time social worker to Accidental icon?

In 2014, I was doing some very heavy work that focused on trauma, child and sexual abuse, and the child welfare system. I had to do something creative, because for me it is a life saver. Professors and people told me I had great style. When the blog suggestion came up, I wanted to look into it. I was always interested in clothes and fashion. Clothes have always manifested who I want to be. I thought, “Okay. I can do that. I know how to make a website. I can make this happen.”

How did you know what to focus on?

There was a big gap for women my age, who, like me, were urban, intellectual, and invested in their lives and careers. The blog I wanted to write didn't exist. I wanted to connect with a community of women who wanted to think and talk about fashion as a way to express identity. I've never had a target group.

You quickly gained a lot of attention and gained almost a million followers on your social media platforms. How did that happen?

My writing was my authenticity. The blog was really my impetus to become a writer. I became more visible in the world. I've switched from blogging to mainly working on Instagram and post sponsored posts. I got a Valentino campaign and then an international one with Mango, a Spanish brand that targets a younger consumer. The fact that they put me in the spotlight was groundbreaking. Then I started getting followers from all over the world. I signed with a modeling agency and got a literary agent. I was spotted by fashion editors and started doing photo shoots for magazines and music videos, modeling, doing campaigns and working with emerging designers.

In 2019 you had a crisis. What happened?

I have lost myself. I realized that I was unhappy. Everything became very controlling. People tell you what they want you to post, how they want you to take your photos, what they want you to say. That wasn't the reason I started this. I wanted to experience a new adventure, meet new people, explore new fields and express myself creatively. I lost the intimate community that was truly involved. I created a space where people who felt unheard and invisible felt seen through me. Younger women who were terrified of growing old said I helped them not fear it.

What did you learn during this experience?

That you need an analog life and a digital life in equal amounts. In the beginning, the blog allowed an older person to get into fashion. But after a while I ended up in a box and it became oppressive. I learned how a digital life can change you. I got sucked in and started compromising my values. I've learned how easy and tempting it is to lose yourself in this.

How did you return to your core self?

I started writing again. I no longer spend much time on social media. I don't do it for the money anymore. I now do it the way I originally started, which is by writing. I have a Substack which I am more concerned with than just my social media. I have strong priorities, such as putting my family, my home and my health above all else. I keep posting because of the group of people who engage with me and for whom my words matter to them, inspire them, comfort them and make them feel good about themselves.

How did it feel to turn 70?

I don't think aging is accurately depicted. Growing older is a journey. People saw an older person who wasn't concerned about being old. My age was irrelevant. There are many good things about getting older. You have a lot of life experience. So if something happens, you don't freak out. You know what to do. You've done it before. You have more self-confidence, you become less dependent on what anyone thinks, which is huge.

What's your best advice?

The key to life is to throw yourself into life without a plan and be open to living that way. It is a hopeful philosophy because it anticipates the fact that there will always be a future, and that there will always be something exciting, different and new.