MAFS sex disapproval comes from porn ideas about women – it’s a recipe for disaster

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IT was a TV moment that ripped through the hearts of women across the country – and a Sun Agony that Aunt Sally Land has seen too many times in real life.

MAFS contestant Polly Sellman, 28, choked back tears as her new husband Adam Nightingale cruelly admitted he didn’t like her after they had sex on their wedding night.

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After meeting his blushing bride at the altar, Adam said, “The initial attraction isn’t 100 percent there. She’s not my usual type. 10 out of 10 for me would be short, brunette, dark features, brown. She’s not what I expected. “

In scenes that were hard to watch – and which Sally dissects as part of our Celebs on the Couch series below – he disrespected the stunning redhead by giving her a ‘four out of 10’ and saying he was on was looking for a ‘little brunette’ who looked like Megan Fox or Brassic actress Michelle Keegan.

But he’s not the only groom causing a stir.

Since the show returned to our screens two weeks ago, the grooms have been labeled as some of the most ‘wild’ contestants yet, brutally rejecting their brides AND criticizing their looks.

Bride Emma Barnes was left sobbing: “I’m a size 14. I’m not a monster,” after her husband Caspar Todd slammed her appearance and said he didn’t normally go for ‘curvy’, despite opening up about struggling with his own body image .

The head gardener made his feelings known to Emma during their honeymoon. He told the sales manager that he didn’t find her “sexy” and was “not attracted to her,” while also lamenting, “This is really hard for me.”

Both men have been slammed by viewers, with one furious fan slamming groom Adam’s rejection of Polly by saying: “Imagine [being] the man who gives Susan Boyle veneers sits across from this beautiful lady and is not satisfied.”

And another added: “Anyone with a history of ED or body dysmorphia, skip #MAFSUK this year.

“[It’s] very triggering as these beautiful and confident women are reduced to clothing size by mediocre men who have misplaced superiority complexes.

The comments come amid a rise in male misogyny, fueled by influencers like Andrew Tate and women still struggling with body confidence and self-acceptance.

Here, in part two of our Celebs on the Couch series, Dear Deidre Agony Aunt Sally Land reveals how to deal with your worries if you don’t find your other half physically attractive – and delves into the troubling reasons Adam and Casper may feel the way they do…

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Married to First Sight’s Best Moments

Married at First Sight has brought eight explosive drama series to the small screen. These are some of the best moments

• When series 8 couple Rozz Darlington and Thomas Kriaras secretly brought a sex toy to the couple’s dinner party. Unbeknownst to the other cast members they were eating with, Rozz was wearing a vibrating egg gadget while husband Thomas was in control.

• Nikita’s departure in series 6. Nikita was removed from the show early on due to her behavior, which led to her husband Ant re-entering the experiment with Alexis.

• A slightly heartwarming highlight of series 6 was seeing the relationship between Dan and Matt. Dan and Matt were the show’s first same-sex couple, and their relationship was both groundbreaking and adorable.

• Emma and James’ wedding in series 1. They were the first couple to ever get married in the British version of the show. Emma and James had a beautiful ceremony that set the tone for the series.

• The dinner party confrontations are always a highlight of the MAF, with explosive arguments and unexpected alliances.

SALLY SAYS: We live in image-obsessed times and while none of us can fake attraction, discounting people who don’t fit narrow ideals like Adam and Caspar do is the quickest way to end relationships.

Putting your partner down because of his appearance not only reflects your own insecurities, but is also very damaging to your partner’s self-esteem and mental health.

With the ready availability of so much free porn, many men in particular have developed completely unrealistic expectations about what their partners should look like.

When exposed to heavily edited, airbrushed and surgically enhanced adult performers, many men expect the women they date to look exactly the same.

But of course these films are about creating a fantasy and in no way reflect real life.

Having sex is such a personal and intimate act, and for many people, exposing your body to another person is enough in itself to make them feel intensely vulnerable.

A rejection so soon after this nerve-wracking milestone will therefore cut particularly deeply.

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Just like fashion, different body shape ideals and looks come and go with the seasons.

But unlike the latest skinny, flared or boyfriend jeans, you can’t just abandon your curves because they’re ‘out of date’.

Of course we can all get fitter and eat healthier, but our body shapes are more or less determined by our genes.

So criticizing your partner’s shape because you prefer “skinny” isn’t going to magically achieve that — unless, of course, he makes himself very sick.

And anyone who truly cares about someone only wants the best for him or her.

As a society, we have been conditioned to expect men to want sex all the time, whenever it is offered.

This assumption does a disservice to many men who genuinely want to get close and feel wanted by their partner – not just have sex with an available woman.

But the reality is that sexual rejection can feel greater for female partners who believe men should always want sex, especially when it’s offered.

For anyone who clings to these unattainable ideals, not only are you severely limiting your chances of meeting someone compatible, but you are also ignoring so many other important considerations, such as: do you have similar life goals, common interests, do you like each other?

Marriage and long-term relationships are hard enough when all those other boxes are checked.

By distracting yourself with a fantasy partner, you’re really setting yourself up for disaster.

If you have any concerns, please write to my team of trained advisors for free deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk