Maybe Beyoncé ditched the DNC because she doesn’t believe this cheap Hollywood rebranding of ‘Kamala the Bully’: KENNEDY’s brutal attack on Harris’s night to forget
Where was Beyoncé?!
We were promised a diva, but had to settle for poor Taylor Swift (Pink).
In the run-up to the most important speech of Kamala Harris’ life, rumors swirled that Queen Bey would grace the Democratic National Convention with her presence.
After TMZ reported that Jay-Z’s much better half was indeed backstage at the United Center in Chicago on Thursday night, I noticed several delegates decked out in glitter ball “Cowboy Carter” hats and matching silver chaps.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be a big-headed fake and the whole fiasco was a metaphor for what America had just experienced.
Despite her roles as California’s attorney general, a one-term senator and vice president, few people know the real Kamala Harris.
In the run-up to the most important speech of Kamala Harris’ life, rumors swirled that Queen Bey would grace the Democratic National Convention with her presence.
From the porcelain-polished Eva Longoria to the outrageous Kerry Washington and even the Dixie Chicks (nice job messing up the Star Spangled Banner, ladies!), Hollywood, in all its fading glamour, tried to paper-mache this empty vessel.
But ultimately, it was Harris’s night to forget. Here are my key takeaways:
1. KAMALA WHO?
Despite her roles as California’s attorney general, a one-term senator and vice president, few people know the real Kamala Harris.
Sure, she tosses world salad and giggles like a circus clown – but this fembot doesn’t come with an instruction manual. How is did she telegraph?
She has never made a major speech or distinguished herself on a national level. (Don’t you dare call her the ‘border czar’!)
She has also never won a single vote in the Democratic primary, and in humiliation, she dropped out of the race for her party in 2020 before the first round.
And now, more than a month after her White House run for office, she still hasn’t had a media interview or held a serious press conference.
The core of her speech was her autobiography: an inspiring but bland story about a beautiful girl born to a strong-willed immigrant mother and a father who taught her to dream big (but who no longer talks to her, but I don’t mind).
Then Kamala the Chameleon changed her colors again – this time from left-pink to the good old red-white-blue-moderate color.
We had tough conversations about fighting crime, cutting taxes, immigration controls and improving the economy.
I would almost believe it if she hadn’t ruled the country for the past four years.
2. THE ALL-WOMAN ACT WILL NOT LAST
Open ChatGPT and type “woman running for president” and you’ll be presented with a typical Kamala speech: a crowdsourced mash-up of everything for everyone.
On Thursday, she promised to “lower the cost of everyday necessities. Like health care. Housing. And groceries… end the housing shortage in America. And protect Social Security and Medicare.”
When she’s done, she says she has room for a second helping and that there will be “tax cuts for the middle class” on top of that.
But how exactly?
She’s like a college student running for president of a fraternity: free boob jobs for everyone and a fridge full of High Noons. It basically works until everyone gets pregnant.
From porcelain-polished Eva Longoria (left) to riotous Kerry Washington (right), Hollywood tried its hand at paper-mâchéing this empty vessel in all its fading glamour.
She will face Trump in a debate on September 10, but there may be sunshine and rainbows on a cold front.
3. BIDEN’S SPIRIT
Kamala did her best to throw a few shovels of dirt on Biden’s political grave, but I could still see his hand sticking out of the freshly turned earth.
“To Joe Biden — Mr. President, When I think of the path we have traveled together, I am filled with gratitude. Your record is extraordinary, as history will show,” she trilled.
How awkward that Joe wasn’t in the convention hall to hear the compliment. He was sent away Monday night in Kamala-branded packaging — destination: glue factory.
The truth is, if Biden has done such a great job, why is Kamala proposing to fix everything?
It was his grossly irresponsible federal government spending that exacerbated the COVID-induced economic crisis and created massive inflation.
And now we find out that nearly 1 million of the jobs Biden is so eager to “create” aren’t actually real (the Bureau of Labor Statistics claims they got the numbers “wrong” – oops!)
Mark my words: Harris will soon throw what’s left of the old Sleepy into the presidential fold.
4. ‘JOYFUL WARRIOR’? YES, REALLY!
Finally, Harris invited Americans to join her on a cruise beyond the country’s self-destructive culture wars to a happier place.
“Our nation has a precious, fleeting opportunity in this election to move beyond the bitterness, the cynicism and the divisive battles of the past,” Harris said. “A chance to find a new way forward. Not as members of a party or a faction, but as Americans.”
Give me a chance, Mother Teresa.
We will not soon forget Harris’s village-razing approach during the 2018 confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.
Then, on the thinnest of straws—the testimony of a woman who alleged without compelling evidence that Kavanaugh had sexually assaulted her at a high school party decades earlier—Harris began a political crusade to destroy a man’s life and reputation.
Why? Because he was the Republican presidential nominee, stupid.
But she is a “merry warrior,” according to shady Doug Emhoff, Bill Clinton and Reverend Al Sharpton (who are quite the character witnesses).
This woman was described as a “bully” by a former assistant and has been accused of having a “soul-destroying” management style.
Merry warrior? More like a cruel tyrant.
Ultimately, to the audience’s JLo, Kamala was Ben Affleck: amid a sea of lonely optimists, a warm body stood onstage, a temporary presence that promised much but delivered little.
You can dress up emptiness in a tight pantsuit and flowery phrases, and it will sound pretty good for 35 minutes. But as the balloons drop and the starting gun sounds for 70 long days until November, I fear the Kandy rush will soon be followed by a Krash.
