Men reveal bizarre techniques they use to last longer in bed – from imagining grandparents to doing mental arithmetic
Many men fear that they will underperform in the bedroom, that they will have trouble getting started or that they will finish too quickly.
This latter fear leads to some interesting mental strategies that men use during sex to distract themselves from the task at hand and to last longer.
They range from thinking about grandparents on their deathbeds to imagining former heads of state. Others do mental puzzles and arithmetic.
According to David Rowland, a psychology professor at Valparaiso University, these tactics are common symptoms of sexual performance anxiety.
Many men choose to think about things that have nothing to do with sex when they are having sex, thinking that it will prevent them from reaching climax. This results in a wide range of techniques.
Research by Dr. Rowland has found that men’s fear of ejaculating too quickly is so great that they have ‘little desire to enter into a new relationship.’
The popular way to deal with this is to focus on things other than the topic at hand, Dr. Rowland told Men’s Health.
The theory is that thinking about something unrelated to sex or something unattractive can reduce a person’s level of arousal, pushing them further away from reaching climax and giving them more time to climax.
There are countless ways to do this.
Some men go straight for something that is repulsive, hoping that it will satisfy their desire. A Reddit user said he likes to think of a hot garbage can to keep the wolf from the door.
Others are getting more creative. At least three men online have shared that they are conjuring up images of the late Iron Lady herself, Margaret Thatcher.
Another Reddit user with the screen name Cyanorapainted a particularly descriptive version of his technique: ‘When I still had that problem, it was Margaret Thatcher, naked, playing baseball on a cold day. And Baron Harkonnen was the umpire.’
The latter is the horrifically obese villain from the Dune book and film series.
Some, like 26-year-old Simon from France, prefer to keep it within the family – he thinks of his great-grandmother, for example.
He told Vice that thinking about her in her last years, when she was bedridden and in a ‘terrible state’, affects his arousal, in the ‘rare’ situation that he wants to do that to make it last longer.
Premature ejaculation may affect 30 to 70 percent of American men,
Another common answer is that men go back to school and start making up math equations in their heads.
Zoran, a 26-year-old Serbian, told Vice that he hated math classes in school.
But the mental effort it takes him to do the math now helps him, because he is now distracted for longer when he is working on the assignment.
The only problem, he said, is that “sometimes I get a hard-on when I have to do simple math.”
Other men think about similar innocent things.
James, a 25-year-old British man, told Metro He thinks of Paddington Bear eating a jam sandwich to survive.Another popular technique is for men to think about balls, sports balls that is.
America’s favorite pastime is a common answer – with many people to share They determine the batting order of their favorite team.
Abroad, other men think about football. Harry, a 26-year-old British, told Metro he also lists the starting lineup of his favorite soccer team. Or if he needs a challenge, he tries to list the starts of another team.
As he thought about this, he said, “I’m actually surprised I ever had sex.”
Some take a different approach, like Darren, a 30-year-old from the UK, who told Metro that he’s more of a fan of pausing the act to engage in other activities, like oral stimulation. He said that focusing on his partner’s pleasure gave him a much-needed break.
The ideal sexual session is different for everyone. But a 2017 study among 1,055 women found that the ideal adventure lasts somewhere between seven and thirteen minutes.
Despite this, the average session lasts about 5.4 minutes, a separate study of 500 couples from 5 countries, conducted by sexual health experts at Utrecht University in the Netherlands.
It is difficult to know exactly how many men suffer from premature ejaculation. Scientists do not have insight into men’s bedrooms and people are generally not open about this situation.
But researchers estimate that it likely affects somewhere between 30 and 70 percent of American men at some point in their lives, Dr. Samuel Deema urologist at Charleston Area Medical Center, wrote on Medscape.
Research shows that longer sex is not always better.
In fact, the Utrecht University study found that the more sexual acts the partners engaged in, including oral or other stimulation, the more likely both partners were to have an orgasm. The length of penetration mattered less in terms of overall pleasure.
So many experts tell men to relax, and focus less on the duration, and more on the quality of the time they spend with their partner. In fact, they even advise against distracting yourself during sex.
Not least because it diminishes your own pleasure, but also because it can make you come faster, Dr. Michael Perelman, a clinical professor of psychology and reproductive medicine at Cornell University, told Mens Health.
That’s because the fear that sits in the back of your mind when you see images of a hot garbage can stimulates the same part of your nervous system as excitement.
The fear adds to the excitement and causes the situation to escalate until it explodes, Dr. Rowland says.
“When you enjoy the sensations of sex, you don’t think, ‘What if I come too quickly?’”
Dr. Rowland emphasized that focusing on the moment doesn’t make you finish faster, as counterintuitive as that may sound.
