Mom reveals why she blames HERSELF for her partner’s 17-year affair

A mum has left people heartbroken after revealing why she blames herself for the affair with her partner of 17 years.

She explained that her husband – to whom she was married for seven years – was her ‘best friend’, and she thought they were ‘happy’.

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“We had gone on our first holiday abroad just months before our little one left,” she added.

But slowly, she began to “notice changes in his behavior,” such as him becoming “very secretive” and “disappearing for entire weekends, blocking my number and leaving me alone to care for our child and dog.”

“He spoke to me terribly and treated me terribly, which was completely unlike him,” she continued in the post Mothernet.

She eventually discovered that he was seeing someone 200 miles away, and had “written her love letters, sent her sex toys and taken her on trips to the theater.”

When she confronted him, he told her he “didn’t love me anymore and he was leaving.”

“One day while I was at work, he moved all his stuff and left,” she added.

As the events unfolded a year ago, she admitted it left her “completely broken” and she doesn’t think she will “ever understand it.”

“Deep down I know I blame myself because I feel like I caused it somehow,” she added.

“I have a stressful job and I found becoming a parent for the first time during a pandemic overwhelming.”

She has now found someone new herself, but is struggling with the question of whether or not she is ‘ready’ to move on from the past.

“He’s so sweet and so patient and understanding, but I keep doubting him,” she admitted.

“Not because of him I think, but because I’m still healing and I’m not sure I can experience a similar heartbreak again.”

After her husband’s affair, she had resigned herself to “being alone”, and “didn’t expect to feel that way about someone so soon”.

And now she’s worried about “hurting my ex even though he seemingly didn’t care about my feelings at all,” and also worries that she’s “still in love with my ex-husband and it’s not fair towards the man I’m with’. to see”.

“But on the other hand, I don’t want to punish myself forever for an affair I didn’t commit,” she concluded, asking if anyone had been in a similar situation.

People were quick to voice their opinions on the situation in the comments section, with one person writing: ‘First of all you didn’t do anything to cause your husband to have an affair, that’s all his fault so you have no reason to blame yourself. ..

Four warning signs that your partner is cheating

Private investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs that your partner may be cheating.

They start taking their phones everywhere

In close relationships, it is normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones. If their phone habits change, they may be hiding something.

Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing his password, taking his phone everywhere, even around the house, or if he gets defensive when you ask to use his phone, this could be a sign that he’s not being faithful. “

“You should also look at how they put their phone down when not in use. If they look at the phone with the screen facing down, they may be hiding something.”

They start telling you less about their day

If partners cheat, they may start avoiding you. This could be because they feel guilty or because it is easier for them to lie to you.

“If you feel like your partner suddenly starts avoiding you and stops wanting to do things with you or stops talking about their day, this is another warning sign.”

“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, remembering all your lies is impossible, and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.

Their libido changes

Your partner’s libido can change for a variety of reasons, so it may not be a sure sign of cheating, but Aaron says it can be a warning sign.

Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but occasionally they may also have more sex at home. This is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will introduce new things into your sex life that were not there before.”

They become negative towards you

Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and for them it will feel good. This can cause tension and anxiety within themselves that they will have to justify.

“To release the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and out of nowhere become critical of you. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog that day, do the dishes, or do a book read. Book to your children before bed. A small problem like this can now feel like a big problem and if you experience this, your partner may be cheating,” Aaron warns.

“You yourself said that your new husband is very patient and understanding, which is yet another reason to take it slow, at your own pace.

“There’s no need to rush into anything and there’s no reason to break off your new relationship because it might turn out to be the best thing that’s happened to you in a long time.”

“Just keep taking it easy,” another advised.

“A year after a seventeen-year relationship isn’t long.

“I wouldn’t give up on the new guy/relationship though. I’ve been dating for a while and I haven’t experienced those feelings for anyone yet.

“I think it’s rare… and you can’t put life on hold forever.”

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