Mother reveals her ‘selfish’ husband didn’t help her with children on the run, but people blame her
TRAVELING can be stressful, especially when you have small children with you.
From passing through security with ease to boarding the plane and keeping passengers entertained during the flight, preparation is key.
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What can help to ease the pressure is if you travel with your partner or another adult. They can help you where needed.
However, one mother feels abandoned by her husband after they took a long flight together with their two children, aged one and three.
She said he left her alone to watch the children during the flight and that he “never left his seat once.”
The mother, who to Mothernet sharing her situation, she revealed that she was furious about the situation she was left in.
She said that when they boarded the plane, it turned out that their seats were “not next to each other.”
The anonymous mother continues: “My husband was sitting alone in the back and I had two seats, one for me and my one-year-old son on my lap and one for my three-year-old.
“When we sat down, I said [to my husband] “don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Let’s see how it goes, maybe we can trade. Come over when we get there.”
“He never left his seat once. I saw him go to the bathroom. But he never came to our row, asked how we were doing, or took any of the children with him.
“I was furious.”
She then asked other Mumsnet users if she was being “unreasonable” by making her views known.
But not everyone agrees with her and some think she is being unreasonable.
Someone wrote: “You are being unreasonable for several reasons.
“First of all, because you didn’t reserve your seats in advance. If they had all been separate, you would have had to ask the people who had paid for their selection to move.
“Because you made a martyr of yourself. Why didn’t you just say you would kill the toddler? next to you and that he could have the baby with him?
He never left his seat once. I saw him go to the bathroom. But he never came to our row, asked how we were doing, or took any of the children with him.
Anonymous Mother
“Because you got angry about it, but didn’t bother to ask him. If you couldn’t reach him, a steward would have helped.”
Another added: “You knew before you got on that your seats weren’t next to each other. Even if he booked it, as others have said, you should still have discussed it before you got on the plane.
“I would never have accepted this. I would have done one adult and one child.
“And if he thought he could get away with it without any responsibility for the entire flight, I would have asked a staff member to come pick him up if I couldn’t get his attention myself.”
But in her defense, the anonymous mother replied, “I had reserved the seats, but it was too late to get seats together. I assumed we would swap.
“The children can be quite clingy towards me, especially when we are somewhere else.
Not a good sign
“But he could also have come to us, talked to us and seen how we were doing.
“The lady sitting next to me was also shocked by his behavior.
“She herself has been divorced twice and thought: ‘this is not a good sign’, ‘you deserve better’.
“It was funny when he showed up at the end. The lady looked him up and down and gave him a dirty look.”
But someone else chimed in and asked, “Why did you say it was okay if it wasn’t?
“Why did you martyr yourself and still have two children?”
Others wondered why she didn’t check the seating chart before leaving.
I would never have accepted this. I would have done one adult and one child
Commentator
One of them said, “Didn’t you check the seats before you left?
“Didn’t you or DH (Darling Husband) make sure you were seated next to each other when you checked in online?
“If your DH booked seats, this may not have been a coincidence. After all, he got the best deal. No responsibility for the entire flight
“I would have a word with him. You should be glowing.”
But not everyone was against her, as many felt her husband was wrong.
Someone wrote: “He just showed you how much respect he has for you and how much he cares about you, or his children.
Different parenting techniques
Here are some commonly recognized methods:
Authoritarian parenting
This technique often promotes children’s independence, self-discipline and self-confidence.
This technique is often considered the most effective. In this technique, parents set clear expectations, enforce rules, and at the same time show warmth and support.
Authoritarian parenting
This is the opposite of authoritarian parenting, where the parent is high-demanding but not very responsive.
It involves the child being obedient and often using punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behavior, it can also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children.
Permissive parenting
Permissive parents are often indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role that is more like that of a friend than an authority figure. They are very responsive but not demanding, giving children a lot of freedom. This approach can foster creativity and a free-spirited nature, but can also result in poor self-regulation and problems with authority.
Uninvolved parenting
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is characterized by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category provide minimal guidance, care, or attention. As a result, children often feel neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development.
Helicopter parenting
Helicopter parents are overly involved and overprotective, often micromanaging their children’s lives. While their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.
Free parenthood
Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their environment with minimal parental intervention. This method promotes independence and resilience, but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.
Attachment Parenting
According to Marriage.comAttachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and babywearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but it requires a lot of time and emotional involvement from parents.
Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family’s values and meets the child’s needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.
“Selfish through and through.
“I wouldn’t let this go. I assume you’ll let him take his kids on the return trip?”
A second added: “I would be angry even if I didn’t offer to take one of the children, and didn’t come and talk to you all.”
A third wrote: “I would be so angry. You both should have had a child!!!!! How unfair.”
While someone else put his thoughts into words at length, saying: “He’s an idiot, but I think your initial reaction didn’t help. You said it would be okay, why even offer that? You should have said you would do the first two hours, for example, then he could do the final and you could swap on the way back.
“And how did you not know that your seats were not next to each other? Assuming you did not pay to reserve seats and therefore were randomly assigned, but you would have known that when you checked in.”
