My boyfriend is not allowed to be around my family because of my maneter aunt

A FRIEND has expressed her concerns about not being able to bring her boyfriend to her family because of her “maneater” of an aunt.

The woman, who has decided to remain anonymous, is now desperate for advice from other mothers – or from those who have found themselves in similar situations.

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The 28-year-old’s life is now affected “on a daily basis” after previous experiences with her family.

Take the online forum Mothernet, she revealed her “fear” in her relationship “because of her aunt.”

In a lengthy post she wrote: “I have an amazing boyfriend, for context he is white and I am Indian.

“My parents are not strict and even if they were, I would still go with him. I get along well with my parents, life is good.

“My father’s side knows that I am in a relationship.

“I really don’t like anyone knowing my relationship status, but I’m 28 now and it’s a bit obvious when I say I’ve never had a boyfriend, so I say yes when just asked.

“I just try to answer with one word and keep it as minimal as possible. If someone pushes with the whole “Ooo, how are you, how are you” (which I understand is normal social talk, but it’s not my thing), I politely explain that I’m private and my don’t discuss relationship.

“Nobody needs to know anything, I despise people who meddle, like seriously, how is my choice of who I have sex with any of your business? Raw but true.”

The woman explained that she stopped her mother from telling her side of the family because her sister “is known for stealing husbands.”

The Mumsnet user continues: “She has done it at least three times, her current one is a man she stole and who pays her rent, she wears orange lippies, leopard print, red thongs sticking out of her pants etc on a daily basis.

“We all suspect that she slept with her own sister’s husband (not my mother, another sister). They are now estranged.

“This woman also tried to poke her nose into my brother’s marriage, resulting in him and his wife cutting her off. She does it with everyone.

“She now finds out that I am with someone and she keeps asking my mother and me questions: why is she with a white man, that is not appropriate, how much money does he have, what car does he have etc.

If she asks questions, just say you don’t want to talk about it

Mumsnet user

“I feel like I can’t enjoy myself with my boyfriend anymore because I’m worried about this woman.

“My mother said I need professional help, why do I care about my aunt, what can she do etc.

“I am a very calm person who keeps to myself and avoids conflict, but if I have to continue to deal with this curiosity, I have to say: look how many men you have been with. I have no place to question my private life. Then these kind of people get angry when they started it!!! I don’t understand???

“There will be more people like this who have done bad things, like stealing husbands and cheating, but who comment on the lives of others.”

Ask for advice

She then asked for advice from other Mumsnets users, writing: “How do you deal with this hypocrisy and how do I get over it so I can enjoy my life with my boyfriend?

“Mommy tells me to be strong, girls don’t give a damn and defend their friends and tell everyone to express themselves, but I can’t take away the fear. Please help.

“PS I don’t even care when people cheat and steal from their husbands, I care when they do it and then dare to comment on the misdeeds of others. HOW??? (in her eyes it’s me being with a white man and keeping it to myself).”

The post received a lot of attention and many rushed to the comments section to share their thoughts.

You can’t steal a man, you can’t buy that in a store

Mumsnet user

One wrote: “It takes two to be in a relationship so I doubt your aunt is husband stealing, the other party must be interested too. I think you’re focusing way too much on this woman.

“You’re right when you say it’s none of anyone else’s business who you hang out with.

“Just enjoy your boyfriend and forget about your aunt and what she says. You’re way too fixated on this.”

Another added: “I agree you are worrying about nothing. She hasn’t stolen husbands. No spouse can be ‘stolen’.

“Orange lippies, leopard print and red thongs are certainly minority tastes in fashion, but not inherently immoral!

“If she asks questions, just say you don’t want to talk about it, but please Nice for her, it sounds like she’s being treated pretty badly.

“All these things being said about her behind her back says more about the family than it does about her, and I suspect a family like that could turn on someone else at some point.”

A third simply added: “You can’t steal a man, you don’t buy that in a shop.”