Whether it’s comments about your appearance or your parenting style, some mothers-in-law don’t hold back.
One woman couldn’t believe her eyes when her ex’s mother made insulting comments about her body and accent.
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In her viral videoTikTok user Sarah (@ikbenhetprobleem) recalled some of the worst experiences she had had with her former mother-in-law.
She explained that her ex and his mother had not been in contact for 11 years before they reconnected.
Sarah said the older woman was obsessed with her son, sometimes even seeming to have a crush on him.
According to the TikTokker, her ex’s mother ignored her when they first met and didn’t speak to her for days.
Read more about body shaming
When her ex confronted his mother about her behavior, she said the language barrier prevented her from interacting with her daughter-in-law.
She even said that Sarah should learn her native language out of respect, despite the fact that her own son did not even speak the language fluently.
“She even said I have a common accent,” Sarah explained.
She admitted that she speaks quickly, but she also pointed out that the woman had no trouble understanding others with a similar accent, including her son.
Sarah also opened up about her mother-in-law’s constant criticism of her weight during their relationship.
“She compared me to a Shetland pony, and it really hurt at the time,” she said.
She explained that she thinks the comment was in reference to her shorter legs.
Sarah remembers how one night her ex’s mother cooked a traditional meal from her home country.
As a vegetarian at the time, the TikTok user could only eat the salad, but she was very pleased with the meal.
She described the “anger” of her mother-in-law, who said that “it wouldn’t make any difference if I starved myself.”
The older woman said she was naturally slim and didn’t have to worry about her weight, but she explained that she could help Sarah.
Tips for Dealing with Problematic Family Members
From in-laws to estranged family members, the experts at Harley Therapy have outlined steps you can consider when dealing with a difficult family relationship.
- Get the timing rightAvoid speaking in stressful environments or when you are feeling emotional or exhausted.
- Give yourself all the attention: Take a step back and focus on yourself so you have the energy to interact with others.
- Communicate clearly: Don’t assume your family knows what you are thinking or feeling.
- Give up the games: Do not bring up the past or drag others into your conflict. Do not see a dispute as something that must be “won”.
- Make borders big: These should be made clear and personal, spoken directly, shared in a quiet moment, and repeated until they are heard.
- Listen as if it’s the first time: Avoid ‘selective listening’ and don’t assume you know what the other person is going to say.
- Manage it with mindfulness: Let the past rest for a moment, stop panicking about the future and focus on the present.
- Change perspective: Even if you may not agree, this can help you take things less personally.
- When all else fails, accept: Don’t waste your energy, your sanity, and your respect for others by trying to force them to see your side of the story when they don’t want to.
Source: Harley therapy
She “led” her daughter-in-law to the scale and told her to weigh herself, not only in her presence, but also in front of her son and his friend.
Sarah explained that she never told her mother-in-law that she wanted to lose weight, but that her boyfriend encouraged her to take his mother up on his offer so she could build a bond with her.
She said the straw that broke the camel’s back had broken her back at a family party, where she had brought her sister as backup.
Not only did Sarah’s mother-in-law have no trouble understanding her sister’s accent, she also raved about her figure all evening.
TikTok users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments.
“The Shetland pony comment would completely surprise me,” wrote one viewer.
“Almost a million people can hear you just fine. She was just saaaaaalty,” another follower commented.
“She was SOOOOO jealous of you and how pretty you are,” a third person commented.
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