My husband cheated on me with our BEST MAN – he begs me to keep his secret

A 30-year-old woman has given her cheating husband an ultimatum after she was asked to keep a secret from him.

She confessed that she was blinded by his infidelity, as their two-year marriage seemed to be going great.

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The woman said she and her husband, 31, have been together for almost six years.

They share a close group of friends and his best friend was the best man at their wedding.

She was shocked to discover that the couple was secretly having an affair.

“I confronted him, and after many tears and honesty, he admitted that he is gay and has been struggling with it for years,” she wrote Reddit.

“I could tell it was painful for him to say it, and I really felt for him.

“He told me he really cared about me and wanted to ‘take care of me’ because he loved me in his own way.”

The woman said she felt heartbroken when she discovered the affair and filed for divorce from her husband.

She didn’t feel like it was her job to tell anyone about their sexuality, but she had to “carry this secret” when people ask why they’re breaking up.

“I gave him an ultimatum: he has to come out and be honest with everyone,” she said.

“It’s not about shaming him or anything, but I feel like if he’s brave enough to start over, he needs to acknowledge who he is.

“The thing is, he says he’s not ready yet. He thinks I’m pushing him too fast, and he’s afraid of how people will react.

“I understand, but I also feel like I’m carrying the weight of this secret on top of my own heartbreak.

“I’ve had friends and family ask me questions, and I’ve lied and lied to protect him, but it’s getting tiring.

“Some people even wonder if I did something wrong, and that just… hurts.”

The woman said friends who know her husband is gay think she is being “cruel” by urging him to come out before he is ready.

However, others argue that he should not have put her in the difficult position.

“So AITA [am I the a**hole] for giving him this ultimatum? she said.

“Should I just let him take his time, or am I right in feeling like I can’t move forward without the truth coming out?”

Four warning signs that your partner is cheating

Private investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs that your partner may be cheating.

They start taking their phones everywhere

In close relationships, it is normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones. If their phone habits change, they may be hiding something.

Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing his password, taking his phone everywhere, even around the house, or if he gets defensive when you ask to use his phone, this could be a sign that he’s not being faithful. “

“You should also look at how they put their phone down when not in use. If they look at the phone with the screen facing down, they may be hiding something.”

They start telling you less about their day

If partners cheat, they may avoid you. This could be because they feel guilty or because it is easier for them to lie to you.

“If you feel like your partner suddenly starts avoiding you and stops wanting to do things with you or stops talking about their day, this is another warning sign.”

“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, remembering all your lies is impossible, and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.

Their libido changes

Your partner’s libido can change for a variety of reasons, so it may not be a sure sign of cheating, but Aaron says it can be a warning sign.

Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but occasionally they may also have more sex at home. This is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will introduce new things into your sex life that were not there before.”

They become negative towards you

Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and for them it will feel good. This can cause tension and anxiety within themselves that they will have to justify.

“To release the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and out of nowhere become critical of you. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog that day, do the dishes, or do a book read. Book to your children before bed. A small problem like this can now feel like a big problem and if you experience this, your partner may be cheating,” Aaron warns.

A stream of people in the comments section advised the woman to leave her “cruel and selfish” husband.

Many felt he should take responsibility for cheating even though he doesn’t want to share his sexuality.

“You may not be inclined to ‘out him’ when people ask, but you can certainly tell them he cheated on you and that’s why you’re getting a divorce,” one person said.

“He committed infidelity regardless of who. He should be ashamed of that.”

Another commenter agreed that the woman should not feel pressured to stay quiet.

“You are under no obligation to protect your husband’s secret,” they said. “He betrayed you, and that’s the reason for the divorce.

“You have every right to share that truth with others, especially when people question you. He needs to take responsibility for his actions OP [original poster].”

A third advised the woman to take legal action against her husband for the pain he had caused her.

“Run as fast as you can,” they wrote. “I think marrying a woman as a gay man is one of the most cruel and selfish things a person can do.

“You might even consider suing him for deliberately misleading you and causing you trauma and emotional distress.”

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