My husband had an affair – there were no signs and his reason left me baffled
A WOMAN is left stunned after discovering her husband has been having an affair – and why he did it.
The thought of your partner cheating on you breaks your heart. But people have affairs for different reasons, such as stress or marital problems.
But the woman was stunned when her husband told her why he was neglecting their relationship in favor of another woman.
She revealed that the affair came to light after the other woman’s husband found out, leading to her own husband also confessing.
The affair appeared to have been short-lived as she explained what the other husband had found on his wife’s phone.
“We texted occasionally, and a few encounters eventually led to kissing and at least one sexual encounter,” she explains.
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“Shortly after the sexual encounter, her DH (husband) noticed something was wrong, he checked her phone and voila.”
She says her husband is devastated that he was caught and has done everything he can to make things right.
She added: “A completely broken man who begged for a chance to make things right and he honestly worked tirelessly (couples counselling, bought multiple books, made many behaviour changes, paid a huge amount of attention to me, had a personality transplant) to save our relationship.
“I’m willing to do anything as long as I don’t leave him.”
However, she was left confused about the whole affair and why it had started in the first place.
She indicated that there had been no signs of the affair while it was going on and that there had been no reason to explain his actions.
“He continues to maintain that there was and is absolutely nothing wrong in our relationship,” she continued.
“That he still loves me as much as ever and is furious with himself for not “appreciating” me enough. He says he did what he did “because he could.”
“The opportunity was there (there was apparently talk about the fact that he and OW (the other woman) were both happy in their relationships, that they didn’t want to leave their partners, but that they liked each other and wanted a bit of fun), and he decided to just see how far he could go.
“Assuming I would never, ever find out. And with no intention of leaving me/wanting anything else/feeling nothing for her/wanting to be with me forever.”
How common are affairs?
While we’ve all heard stories about cheating partners, we hope it never happens to us. But Illicit Affairs, a dating site for people who are already in a relationship, has revealed that it’s a lot more common than we think.
According to the dating siteCheating is a common occurrence in the UK. Statistics show that 18-20% of married couples will experience infidelity at some point in their relationship.
You may be surprised to learn that infidelity does not always lead to divorce or breakup. In fact, statistics show that approximately 53% of marriages that have experienced infidelity are able to recover after working through the issues.
Because infidelity often stems from pre-existing marital problems, couples can often easily identify the root of the problem. This means they can more easily work on the relationship.
Once all issues are out in the open, couples can be much more open and honest with each other, which can restore trust in the relationship.
“There were zero signs, and if you asked me, I would have said we were in the best place we’ve ever been,” she added.
Now she wondered if it was a legitimate reason to wonder how someone could be in love and still choose someone else.
The post went viral on Mothernet and many people responded to the comments to share their thoughts.
Someone wrote: “The biggest problem is losing trust. No matter how sincere someone is in their regret, there will always be that suspicion when they text or go somewhere without them.”
Another commented: “Funny how these men are only devastated when it all comes out and their comfortable lives are in danger of being blown up.”
“Just because he could? Without any respect for you (who he says he loves)? How could he? It’s disgusting and there is absolutely no way I would get over such a betrayal of trust,” wrote a third.
There were no signs at all and if you had asked me I would have said we were in the best place we have ever been.
Woman scorned
Meanwhile, a fourth said: “Absolutely. It’s a myth that there has to be something wrong in the relationship for an affair to happen. Many just depend on the occasion.”
“He regrets getting caught. Only about that really,” claimed a fifth.
Someone else added: “I honestly don’t know how you can fully trust that he won’t do it again. I’ve been cheated on and sometimes I find trust hard, even when it’s with another partner who hasn’t cheated on me.”
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