My husband has passed away and I am relieved. I got his money, but I have to pretend to be sad
A WOMAN has expressed her relief at the death of her husband.
She explained that she was given their house and his money after his death, but admitted that she is grateful to finally feel “free.”
2
2
The mother confessed that her husband abused her financially, mentally and even physically, and as a result, she is now grateful to be out of the toxic situation.
But despite this, she shared the difficulty she is currently facing as she has to “pretend” to be saddened by his death.
Posting on social media, the mother opened up about her situation, leaving many open-mouthed.
Revealing all on Reddit, among the r/TrueOffMyChest thread under the username @Sorry_Weather6287, the woman captioned her post “My husband died and I have to pretend he was a wonderful man who loved me.”
Read more relationship stories
She then explained: “My husband passed away three months ago, I have been freed from that.
“He abused me financially, mentally and even physically. When I got pregnant, he convinced me to quit my job and said he would take care of me…
“I could never buy anything again without asking his permission, I couldn’t even buy a cream without asking his permission and he decided whether I could or not, even months ago I had a little money of my own that I had to ask him for ask permission to buy something.
“What was mine was theirs and what was theirs was theirs. But I stayed there because I still loved him and I had nowhere to go.”
Not only this, but the woman claimed that her husband also cheated on her, continuing: “I had low self-esteem and got caught. When I stopped loving him, he had already had his first affair.
“He made me believe I was to blame for the affair because I didn’t want to have sex for months after I was born, which left me torn and requiring stitches.
“I was already planning my departure and saving money little by little while I was working to sell things from home as he wouldn’t let me work outside because he was very jealous.
‘I wanted to pay a lawyer. He had another affair with a friend of his which thankfully kept him busier and I no longer cared that he wasn’t paying attention to me, I wanted him to stay as far away as possible.
‘I knew that man and he knew me. I could have made a big fuss, but I didn’t. I continued to quietly plan my way out while he and that man secretly slept together.
“I was just disgusted with my husband, nothing more.”
How to get help
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Contact charities for help, including Women’s Aid’s live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarize yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without saying anything, but calling “55” instead.
- Make sure you always have some money with you, including change for a phone booth or bus ticket.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try going to a lower-risk part of the house, such as where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where knives or other weapons are likely to be present. Avoid rooms where you could become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you could be locked in a closet or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline .org.uk.
Women’s Aid offers a live chat service – Available on weekdays from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. and on weekends from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
You can also call the free 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
But after her husband’s death, she revealed that she now has to deal with people praising the manipulative man.
She added: “But my husband died in a way I never expected. He is now a martyr, when someone dies all sins of that person disappear?
“Because even my family thinks so, those who knew about his affair and how he manipulated me are now talking about how good of a man he was, and we shouldn’t insult someone who is dead.
“Everyone around me talks about how beautiful our relationship was, his family talks about what a wonderful man he was and how he was always focused on giving everything to me and our child.
“His business partner hugged me at the funeral and said my husband loved me. His friends told me what a great person he was.
The day he died I cried a lot, but not out of sadness. I cried with relief and felt FREE
Reddit user
“Everyone talks about how good he was and how he is now an angel in heaven.”
She explained that she cried when he died, but it was not out of sadness, as she wrote, “And I have to pretend to be sad.
“The day he died I cried a lot, but not out of sadness. I cried with relief and felt FREE.
“It would have taken me too many years to save my lawyer shop without him realizing I was keeping money secret, he would have kept it all, he would have made my life a living hell and I know it because he would have I said every time I stood up for myself.
“But now I have the house, I have everything, I have the monthly money to be a widow, I have my children all with me.”
It was very difficult to pretend to be sad at the funeral, but I did it for my child
Reddit user
Trying to move on, the woman shared, “I started [seeing a] psychologist. Everyone thinks I do it to deal with my grief, but no, it’s to get over the abuse I suffered from him.
“It was very difficult to pretend to be sad at the funeral, but I did it for my child. I did it because now everything is over and I am free.
“If I was worried, my ex-military would have done something so I wouldn’t keep anything, they were just like him.
“But now I’m just a sad widow who needs help in their eyes, the foolish widow who knew nothing other than it helps me be free and get what I deserve.”
Where to seek grief help
Do you need professional help with grief?
You are not alone
Check out these books, podcasts and apps that all expertly deal with grief…
- Funeral cast: Cariad Lloyd interviews comedians in this award-winning podcast.
- The Madness Of Grief by Rev. Richard Coles (£9.99, W&N): The Strictly favorite writes movingly about the loss of his husband David to alcoholism.
- Terrible, Thanks for Asking: Podcast host Nora McInerny encourages non-celebrities to share how they’re really feeling.
- Good Mourning by Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn (£14.99, Murdoch Books): A guide for people who have suffered sudden loss, like the authors who both lost their mothers.
- Grief Works: Download this for daily meditations and expert tips.
- How To Grieve Like A Champ by Lianna Champ (£3.99, Red Door Press): A book to improve your relationship with death.
REDDIT USERS REACT
Reddit users were stunned by the woman’s confession, with many flocking to the comments to share messages of love and support for the now widow.
One person said: “I’m happy for you. You are free! I hope you live the rest of your life in peace.”
I’m glad you can finally be free now
Reddit user
Another said: “I love this for you! Not that you have experienced that, but that you are doing well and are now free.”
A third commented: ‘Glad you got rid of him. If you can, if you feel strong enough, sell the house and get away from all the people and things you don’t want to be around.
“Tell everyone that it’s too hard for you to be home and all the memories. They don’t need to know that the memories are bad memories. I send you my best wishes via the Internet.”
While someone else posted: “I’m glad you can finally be free now. Let them say what they like. You know the truth.”
