My mother thinks my husband married the wrong sister – I feel like the third wheel
A 29-year-old woman was outraged when her mother joked that her husband should have married her sister instead.
She confessed that she already felt like a ‘third wheel’ because her husband James and sister Fran, both 34, have a ‘special bond’ from their childhood friendship.
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The woman revealed it in a long time Reddit post that her family grew up next door to James.
He had a teenage crush on her “very smart and beautiful” sister, but was rejected when he asked her to prom.
James and Fran remained friends when he moved away to study, as he would be returning during the holidays.
However, his current wife was never included in their meeting places because she was younger.
“I went to a good college and got my first job in the same city as James,” she said.
“My mother suggested I contact James as I didn’t know anyone there.
“We became friends and three years later we got married. We both have well-paying jobs and love our lives.
“During Covid, we moved back to our hometown because James’ mother had health issues, and our jobs allowed us to work remotely.”
She said her sister had a “pretty good life” until she discovered her husband was cheating with multiple partners.
Since they ended their marriage, Fran has been living with their mother and struggling financially.
“James and I have been very supportive throughout the process,” the woman said.
“Since James and Fran were friends growing up, they both have a special bond. They have their inside jokes and stories, and I sometimes feel like a third wheel when we all meet.
She said James never gave her a reason to believe there was anything more than friendship between him and her sister.
However, Fran feels “too comfortable” with James and ignores concerns about her numerous visits to their house each week and walking around the house in just a towel.
The situation escalated when they discussed childhood memories this weekend.
“My mother jokingly said to her that I wish you had the sense to marry James rather than your loser husband, then you wouldn’t have been in this situation,” she said.
“Fran smiled when he heard that and nodded, but I was hurt by the comment.
“I protested to my mother that James is my husband and I don’t want her to make such comments about him.
“My mother doubled down and said she was looking forward to it because both James and I are high earners, while Fran is struggling.
“So it would make sense if Fran were married to James, and I would be fine as I don’t need James to support me financially. She kept saying it was hypothetical and just wanted both her daughters to be happy.”
Signs that your relationship is heading for divorce
- Persistent communication disruptions
Constant misunderstandings, arguments, or a complete lack of meaningful conversations can indicate deep-rooted problems. - Emotional distance
Feeling more like roommates than partners, with a noticeable lack of intimacy or emotional connection. - Frequent criticism and contempt
Frequently criticizing each other and showing contempt, such as sarcasm, eye rolling, or mocking, can erode the foundation of the relationship. - Unresolved conflicts
Recurring arguments about the same issues without any resolution may indicate deeper incompatibilities. - Loss of trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship. If it’s broken and beyond repair, it could be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. - Different life goals
Significant differences in future aspirations, such as career goals, lifestyle choices or family planning, can create insurmountable chasms. - Avoidance
If you prefer to spend time alone rather than together, whether through work, hobbies, or social activities, it may indicate a desire to escape the relationship. - Lack of support
Not feeling supported, emotionally, financially or practically, can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment. - Financial disagreements
Constantly arguing about money, spending habits, or financial priorities can put a strain on the relationship. - Infidelity
Whether physical or emotional, infidelity can be a major breach of trust and a sign of deeper problems in the relationship. - Changes in affection
A noticeable decrease in affection, physical touch, or romantic gestures can indicate a loss of connection.
The woman said she stormed out when her sister accused her of being “too sensitive” about their mother’s comments, while James said it was a “harmless joke.”
“I just feel really bad since the situation and even though everyone is apologizing to me, it just doesn’t feel right,” she said.
“Am I wrong to react this way, or does everyone have a point, and I should be more confident about my relationship with James?”
A flood of comments on the post urged the woman to talk to her husband and keep her distance from her sister.
One person said her sister ‘doesn’t respect’ the boundaries of their relationship and her husband should do more to stop it.
“This whole thing is killing me,” wrote another. “It’s like he couldn’t have Fran, so he decided you would be close to her.
“I find their interactions with each other extremely inappropriate and if it were me I would no longer have contact with either my sister or my mother.”
A third commenter warned that her husband and sister will have an affair if the situation doesn’t change.
“You need to nip this in the bud before you walk in one day and find them in your bed.” You can no longer come over whenever she feels like it,” they said.
“No more sleepovers. And set clear boundaries for him. He can’t say he doesn’t want to be in the middle.
“He married YOU and owes you loyalty and respect.
“You need to grow a backbone and go for thermal nuclear on ole Fran. Don’t let these three people walk all over you.’
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