My mother’s fateful decision three months before she was diagnosed with cancer – and how it leaves her four children struggling to cope

A single mother dying of brain cancer was forced to make a difficult decision that will have a lasting impact on her four children.

Teressa Gates’ world from Anglesea, Victoria revolved around her children, Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac.

Teressa died in May at the age of 49.

“Remember me because I am a mother, and that is what I am most proud of,” Teresa said in one of her last posts.

“Live well, laugh often, and remember to have fun with my horses and your children.”

When Simon, her high school sweetheart and father of her children, died of a heart attack about 10 years ago, Teressa wanted to make sure the children were well cared for in case something happened to her.

She kept her life insurance up to date, but when Covid hit, work slowed and the bills continued to rise.

Teressa simply could no longer afford the life insurance.

Teressa Gates’ last words to her children: ‘I love you all very much, to the moon and back and everywhere in the universe’

Teressa passed away on May 18, leaving behind her children Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac, who were her world

She tried to talk to the insurance company to see if they could reduce the cost, but to no avail. Teresa was reluctantly forced to cancel the policy.

Teressa’s brother Jordan told Daily Mail Australia: ‘Teressa said we got to a point where she just couldn’t afford it anymore.

“And then she says, ‘Well, I’ve been fine for the last 49 years. I’ll be fine.’

She said, ‘I’ll take out insurance again in a few years.’

Just three months after canceling her life insurance policy, Teresa was diagnosed with lung cancer and told she had only a few months to live.

Jordan remembers her saying, “Well, that’s not happening. I have kids to take care of, so we’re going to do everything we can here.”

Radiation and chemotherapy followed and Teresa’s health began to improve.

Then they found cancerous lesions in her brain.

Jordan said Teressa wanted chemotherapy, radiation and everything that goes with it because she wanted to beat the disease for her children, just like she beat lung cancer.

“She did everything she could get.”

Jordan said at some point they stopped the radiation.

They told her, “Look, your body can’t take it anymore, it’s going to kill you eventually.”

“So Teresa said, ‘Well, I’m dead anyway. So the radiation might work. So why don’t we do it?’

‘She’s had a bit of a falling out with the hospital over the last few months, and finally they said, ‘You know, you’re right, like you’re going to die anyway. That might as well be the case.’

Teressa’s high school sweetheart and father of her children Simon died of a heart attack about 10 years ago

Teressa’s eldest daughter Jade turned 21 just two days after her mother’s funeral. All she wanted for her birthday was for her mother to come back

Teressa died on May 18.

“She actually stopped by the house where she had palliative home care because she didn’t want to die in the hospital,” Jordan said, her voice ringing with emotion.

“She wanted to be with her family, her kids and all her stuff.”

Teressa’s funeral, attended by more than 150 people, was emotional and hilarious at the same time.

“My sister was kind of a funny person,” Jordan said.

“She chose one of her favorite Kasey Chambers songs: ‘We’re All Gonna Die Someday.’

“That was her closing song, and it put a big smile on everyone’s face and we all had a great laugh.”

Jordan was impressed by the way the local community came together for the funeral.

He said that although Teressa had arranged the funeral, the local Lions Club provided food and drink at her favorite pub and the support from the local Baptist Church had been wonderful.

“Live well, laugh often and remember how I had fun with my horses and your children,” wrote Teressa (pictured in her younger years)

“The community should be commended for what they’ve done and what they do for people. It’s a great little town.”

The timing wasn’t ideal: Teressa’s eldest daughter Jade turned 21, just two days after her mother’s funeral.

All she wanted for her birthday was for her mother to come back.

According to Jordan, Teressa was terrified that her children would be orphaned.

“Unfortunately, that’s what happened, and I just know that would have hurt her very much.”

The new reality for Jade is that she is now not only Ebony and Amber’s big sister, but also their mother.

The three girls live together in a house.

As Jade’s uncle Jordan said, “They’re sisters, but they’re still not her kids. So it’s very, very hard for Jade to be a friend and a parent at the same time.”

Jordan said he is proud of Jade and how well she is handling this totally unimaginable situation.

‘She has been thrown in at the deep end. She is a young parent with teenagers,” he said.

“She’s done her best and is really just making sure the girls get what they need.”

The family is doing everything they can to provide support.

“I just tell her, if you want to ask me anything, or if you need help with anything, just call me. And I’m glad she does,” Jordan said.

In addition to her new role in life, Jade is also still studying.

According to Jordan, Jade has “a business mind” and is in the process of setting up a small business.

Teresa was terrified that her children might be orphaned. ‘Unfortunately, that’s what happened’

Although the girls receive a lot of support from their families in every possible way, these are still difficult times.

Jordan’s partner Tegan said Teressa did everything she could to ensure the girls were well before she died. But the reality of life is really starting to hit and the costs are quickly mounting.

Jordan and Tegan said that Jade would receive government support and that they were doing a great job, but it would take some time before the results were noticeable.

It’s the everyday things.

The rent, the household appliances are on their way, there are school uniforms, shoes, all the usual expenses of a young family.

“Amber only has one sweater that she washes every few days,” Tegan said.

“They just hit a kangaroo in the car that Teresa left with them as well. So there’s still some work to be done on that.”

To help the girls kickstart the new lives they’ve found themselves in, Jordan and Tegan have a… GoFundMe Page.

‘Teressa was an absolutely lovely mother. She would have done anything for her children and anything for anyone else.”

They said the additional money will be put into a trust fund to help the young family.

Jordan said his sister was a wonderful person and had only one last wish.

‘Teressa was an absolutely loving mother. She would have done anything for her children and anything for anyone.

‘Teressa’s last wish was that people would be there for her children, in whatever way possible.

‘She said, ‘Please make sure my babies are okay.'”

Teressa’s last words to her children were, “I love you all so much, to the moon and back and all over the universe. I’m so sorry I’m leaving too soon.”