My partner gets secret ‘happy ending’ massages, but I want to stay with him
A heartbroken woman discovered her partner was secretly paying for sensual massages with a ‘happy ending’s’ with sex workers.
Feeling torn about whether or not to stay in the relationship, she turned to outsiders for advice.
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She wrote up a long post Reddit which revealed that her partner of three years had been cheating on her for more than two years.
The woman was devastated when she discovered he had been given ‘happy endings’ during sensual massages behind her back.
In a Reddit group called Surviving Infidelity, she wrote: “My partner of three years cheated with sensual massages from the second year onwards.
“He [has] I have a high paying, stressful job, no excuses, I know. She admits
“He promises he will never cheat again and is in therapy.
‘Can anyone share their experience?
“I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s really hard and I’m trying to find myself.”
Comments on the Reddit post told the woman that it would be “very unlikely” that her partner would change his behavior and that she would ultimately just “supervise him forever.”
One person who admitted to experiencing a similar betrayal wrote: “No matter how hard it is, leave. I’ve had a relationship like that.
“I found out that my ex went to at least three sex workers.
“I tried to figure it out, tried to give him a chance.
“It was a terrible time and I was naive enough to think that my commitment, love and time will help us become ourselves again.
“I thought he was trying, I thought he was really sorry and that he would get better.
“It didn’t work out,” she admits.
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“He’s cooled off for a while, but it’s only a matter of time before the backsliding, lying and cheating starts again.”
The outspoken Reddit user then pointed out the risks involved, including the risks to her sexual health if she decided to return to her partner if he hadn’t yet resolved his commitment issues.
“[You] maybe you’ll get one [sexually transmitted] disease.
‘Don’t do it. I think it’s highly unlikely he’ll actually change.
‘You will forever be on the police side, checking his phone and feeling insecure if you don’t know where he is.
‘Therapy is a good start for him, but it doesn’t work right away.
Reddit user
‘Avoid the future pain. Don’t be the same idiot I was.
‘Good luck and sorry. It will get easier once the hard work is over.
‘Therapy is a good start for him, but it doesn’t work right away.
“There is no change in therapy. He really has to be there for the treatment, not just to shut you down.”
Another commenter who admitted to being a sex worker said: “Send him on his way. Go on.
“There are good men who are not addicted to sex and do not cheat.”
A third wondered why the heartbroken woman would try to contextualize or excuse his betrayal.
He said: ‘I am underpaid and have a stressful job, and I have never felt the need to cheat, nor felt the need to blame cheating on work stress.
‘And I’m sure being underpaid in a stressful job is much more stressful.
‘I’m not a cheater. The point is that work stress is not a reason.’
A fourth blow back to the ruthless commenters: “If you love him and he loves you and you think he is genuinely remorseful and wants to change, leave him, sort it out.
“You both lose if you leave him alone to punish him.
“Your choice, of course, but relationships are much more complex and nuanced than most here seem to realize.”
Four warning signs that your partner is cheating
Private investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs that your partner may be cheating.
They start taking their phones everywhere
In close relationships, it is normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones. If their phone habits change, they may be hiding something.
Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing his password, taking his phone everywhere, even around the house, or if he gets defensive when you ask to use his phone, this could be a sign that he’s not being faithful. “
“You should also look at how they put their phone down when it’s not in use. If they look at the phone with the screen facing down, they may be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
If partners cheat, they may start avoiding you. This could be because they feel guilty or because it is easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner suddenly starts avoiding you and stops wanting to do things with you or stops talking about their day, this is another warning sign.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, remembering all your lies is impossible, and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a variety of reasons, so it may not be a sure sign of cheating, but Aaron says it can be a warning sign.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but occasionally they may also have more sex at home. This is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will introduce new things into your sex life that were not there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and for them it will feel good. This can cause tension and anxiety within themselves that they will have to justify.
“To release the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and out of nowhere become critical of you. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog that day, do the dishes, or do a book read. Book to your children before bed. A small problem like this can now feel like a big problem and if you experience this, your partner may be cheating,” Aaron warns.
