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As she sat on the bench before her late mother’s casket, Olivia Wright felt anger on her behalf.
Her older sister Emma Parfrement had turned up at the last minute, dressed in a not-too-gloomy metallic cowboy outfit boots, pink a pair of pants and a fluffy top.
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“It was ridiculous,” recalls Olivia, 49, from Upminster, Essex.
“She was sitting in the back crying with a friend and disappeared right after the service, without attending the wake I had organized and paid for.
“Dressed like that for your own mother’s funeral spoke volumes to me.”
But Emma’s behavior in the years leading up to Angela Wright’s death in November 2019 had already raised alarm bells for her sister.
After being estranged from her family for four years, she suddenly returned to the family when Olivia told her that Angela had dementia.
She quickly has the only current from a lawyer and placed her mother in a nursing home.
She used this unfettered access to quietly siphon off the widow’s savings, splurging on a Porsche and having her ex-husband Neil make risky investments.
Olivia’s actions left her without a cent of her inheritance and led to a costly four-year lawsuit to uncover the truth.
Although her sister’s actions were shameless, disputes over wills are becoming increasingly common, with an estimated 10,000 disputes occurring each year in England and Wales.
Specialist lawyers say the disappearance of the wealthy baby boomer generation and rising dementia diagnoses are fuelling financially disastrous and emotionally draining legal battles.
‘Been to hell and back’
“I believed her intentions were dishonorable before my mother died, but no one would listen,” says Olivia, a special education teacher married to carpenter Kirk, 60.
“I’ve been to hell and back fighting for justice, and spent all my savings. But I don’t expect to get a cent back — it’s all gone.
“If she had stolen that money from a store or a business, she would be in jail. That’s not right.”
The feuding sisters grew up in Chipstead, Surrey, and their parents, Norman – who died in 2004 aged 74 – and Angela, worked hard to give them a good life.
“Emma was three and a half years older and we were very different,” Olivia says. “I always felt like she was ashamed of me as a child.
“We got along better when we were in our twenties and we started seeing our partners. Her then husband Neil was a homebody, the type who followed you around with a vacuum cleaner.
“They sent their kids to private school and had the best of everything. I felt like they looked down on me because I earned less and lived in a semi-detached house.”
In 2013, Olivia suddenly received a shocking email from Emma, cutting off all contact.
If she stole that money from a store or a business, she would be in jail. It’s not right
“Emma and Mom always had a tense relationship, I think because they were quite similar,” she says. “As the oldest, she was probably pushed harder to succeed.
“Emma decided she didn’t want to know Mom anymore – and that went for me too.
“Mum came to her house a few times, desperate to see her grandsons, but Neil wouldn’t let her in. She was very upset.
“I had my daughter Elana at the time, now 14, and it hurt me that she couldn’t have a relationship with her cousins. But I respected Emma’s decision and life went on.”
The rift lasted until July 2017, when Olivia became concerned about their mother’s health and suspected she had dementia.
What is a Lasting Power of Attorney?
THIS is a way to give someone you trust the legal authority to make decisions on your behalf if you are no longer able to do so yourself.
There are two types of powers of attorney: one for financial decisions and one for health and care. For both, you can draw up a lasting power of attorney.
You can only create one if you have the mental capacity to do so and there is no pressure on you. However, it is not necessarily permanent.
Healthcare LPAs can only be used if you have reduced mobility, but financial LPAs can come into effect earlier if you prefer.
The system is managed by the Public Guardian Office and you do not need a lawyer to draw one up.
Out of politeness, she wrote a letter to her estranged sister, who immediately came over and took Angela to stay with her.
“Mom had been confused and paranoid for a few months, so the doctor referred her to a memory clinic,” says Olivia.
“I was surprised when Emma said she wanted to help me and give me a break.
“But she kept calling to say what a nightmare Mom was and then put her in a nursing home for four weeks of respite. She never left.”
The house was close to Emma and was a two hour drive for Olivia, so it was difficult to visit.
“It all happened very quickly and in retrospect I think she kept her mother close to manipulate things,” Olivia says.
“I suggested we get power of attorney, but offered to do it alone if she didn’t want to be involved. Emma insisted it be shared — then I got a letter saying it had only been granted to her. I was furious.
“Why would you come back to manage someone’s finances if you haven’t helped them for four years?
I had sleepless nights and times of pure rage
“I later found out that she had told people, including our mother’s financial advisor and the nursing home staff, that I had had a nervous breakdown. I think she was trying to paint a picture that she was the best person for the job.”
Emma assured Olivia that the nursing home costs would be paid for with her mother’s savings.
What she didn’t know, however, was that her sister was also cashing in Angela’s ISAs and transferring large sums into her own current account, before giving the money to her ex-husband to invest.
The ex-spouses had secretly drawn up an agreement stating that he would keep 50 percent of the profits.
Emma, 53, also sold Angela’s house, where the sisters grew up, with Neil’s help, and she informed her sister of the move by email.
“She treated me with such disrespect, I had no say in anything,” Olivia says. “I was told to pick up what I wanted and the rest would be thrown away.
“I didn’t want much, just the things from my childhood and the piano.” Within a year of entering care, Angela’s condition deteriorated to the point that she had to be moved to a secure dementia unit. She died at the age of 86.
To Olivia’s eternal regret, she arrived 15 minutes late to say goodbye, and only Emma was there.
“When she saw me come in, she looked confused, gave me a hug and disappeared into the night,” she recalled. “I was very upset, but she wouldn’t talk to me.”
The strangeness continued as Olivia planned the funeral.
“We only called once and Emma said, ‘I’ll pay for the funeral, but I’m not paying for the wake.’
“It was an odd choice of words because I expected my mother’s estate to cover it. This wasn’t Emma’s money.
“I ended up paying for it and I wasn’t even sure if Emma would show up until she showed up in her brightly colored outfit.”
The situation quickly began to spiral out of control when Olivia pressured Emma to apply for a certificate of probate (the legal right to manage someone’s property and assets after their death). Her sister was evasive.
“I had had my suspicions for a while and had already complained to the police the office from the Public Guardian that her intentions were dishonorable with regard to the power of attorney,” she says.
“They didn’t want to know anything about it and when mother died, they said it was no longer in their power.
“I sent Emma a letter by registered mail to ask what was going on. She sent it back without accepting it. That set off alarm bells.”
Over the past five years I have had to put my grief aside to fight this
Determined to right the wrong, Olivia began a legal battle that would last four years, cost her £38,000 of her savings and even land her in hospital.
“We couldn’t find the will, but luckily I had a copy of our father’s will, which showed that mother had made it on the same day.
“The judge accepted that it would have been along the same lines and they could reconstruct it in February 2022.”
Olivia eventually faced her sister and former brother-in-law at the Central London County Court in July this year.
“I had sleepless nights and moments of pure rage,” Olivia says.
“The day before the hearing I was so unwell that I had to go to hospital and have an MRI scan to small stroke. Doctors suspected it was stress-related.”
After years of demanding answers, Olivia felt vindicated when Judge Nigel Gerald ordered Emma and Neil to repay £475,000 to the estate, plus around £200,000 in interest.
‘Almost no money left’
He said that as a result of their reckless actions, “there was virtually no money left.”
Bank statements showed that Emma had transferred almost all the money he had squandered on spread betting to Neil, a former advertising agency boss.
He gave her back around £144,000, but she spent it on luxury items, including a Porsche 4×4. Despite the ruling, Olivia doubts she will see any compensation.
“Emma lived in a five-bedroom house in Surrey, but she claims she is poor and cannot afford it,” she says.
“I only got to this point because I had lawyers working for me. Good to help. I have had to put my grief aside for the past five years to fight this. I haven’t even put my mother’s name on her gravestone yet.
“I still feel deeply let down by the institutions that should have protected my mother.
“This was not a dispute over family silver. I feel my mother’s memory and legacy was stolen from me, and my sister and her ex should get the justice they deserve.”
