IT can be hard when birds leave the nest, but some parents found it extra difficult when their child went off to college.
Worse still, she was shocked when her son cut them off “out of the blue.”
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Reddit user Smol Wren shared the parenting dilemma in a post.
The parent had aired her grievances on a parenting advice forum at the university.
Her son, she explained, was turning 21 and starting his fourth year of college.
“We had a big fight on Monday and he’s not talking to us,” she said.
While most parent-child arguments eventually subside, her son said he hated having his location tracked on his phone.
“He told us he didn’t want to be followed anymore,” the mother said.
However, she refused to give in.
“We tried to convince him and remind him that these apps have helped so many families, for example when their children were involved in an accident,” she said.
“And he goes to school on the other side of the country in a dangerous area. But he insisted that we were just exaggerating the danger and that he would delete all the apps anyway.”
When her son doubled, she played her trump card.
“We told him it was okay, but we had to pay for tuition, housing, flights, house and phone bills, and he had to keep tracking,” she said.
“Then he got quiet and said, okay, then we could take him off his phone plan and then he would take us off the tuition portal.”
The mother explained that the reaction was an unexpected turn of events.
“My husband and I were shocked. My husband said, ‘Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?’ After all, we’ve had such a good system. My son said fine, he’ll pay us back the tuition and that’s it,” she said.
I don’t get it. If you had asked me last week, I would have said we had a GREAT relationship with our child.
She admitted that she initially thought her son was “joking” but was stunned when she suddenly lost access to the tuition portal.
“We also don’t see any activity on our phone plan for his line. I thought he was just misbehaving, but last night he sent back all the tuition and housing we paid,” she said.
“About $25,000, since we had generous grants and he worked during the school year. We tried to get in touch, but he also blocked us on everything.”
The move left the parents confused, asking their two youngest children for updates on him, but they were left in the dark themselves.
“I don’t get it. If you had asked me last week, I would have said we had a GREAT relationship with our child,” she said.
“The tracking problem hasn’t happened in years.”
She said that despite her husband’s wishes for her son to attend a nearby school, he ended up attending a more prestigious university after receiving financial aid.
Even during school holidays, her son rarely came home. Instead, he preferred to go abroad for an internship.
“We only found out this summer that he had been dating a girl for nine months,” she added.
“I still don’t know where he got this money from! I know he worked, but a big part of that money went straight to his food and shelter.”
Although the mother found her son’s reaction irrational, viewers were more understanding.
“He’s 21 and he managed to get his hands on $25,000. Looks like he doesn’t need it!” said one commenter.
Many felt that her son’s decision was made far too late and that it was a conscious decision.
“Honestly, he might have saved for this eventuality. I know I would have if I were in his shoes,” said one commentator.
“And that’s why people don’t have contact with their parents anymore,” said another.
“The only thing they regret is not being able to control their child anymore. They don’t do any self-reflection,” said a third.
“I hope the boy can get therapy and help his younger siblings do the same.”
