A mother has sparked a heated debate after her ‘gentle parenting’ resulted in a huge tantrum – and even a spanking.
Very different from what previous generations practiced, gentle parenting is a peaceful and positive style of parenting that does not involve “shame, guilt or punishment” as explained by experts.
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As it sounds, this form of parenting — one of many out there — is all about caregivers and parents guiding their children with consistent, compassionate boundaries, not a stern hand.
“Gentle parenting, also known as collaborative parenting, is a parenting style in which parents do not force their children to behave through punishment or control, but instead use connection, communication, and other democratic methods to make decisions together as a family,” says Danielle Sullivan, a parenting coach and host of the Neurodivergent Podcast based in Colorado, USA.
This style consists of four main elements: empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries.
The trend is growing in popularity, especially among young parents. However, a mother of four, known only as Angie, recently sparked outrage when she showed off her child’s activities without any consequences.
The now viral videowhich has been viewed more than 10 million times in less than a week, shows the mother sitting outside on her family’s porch and filming her little one’s antics.
It appears the girl, who was estimated to be about three or four years old, was desperately trying to get back inside, but Angie urged her to speak more quietly, despite her persistent request to ‘open’ the door.
After Angie asked her daughter if she was “ready to be nice,” the girl — completely red from crying and screaming — immediately yelled back “No!” before pushing her mother away.
“Hands are not for hitting! When you are ready to use your inner voice, you can talk to me.”
Unfortunately for the parent, things only got worse when the toddler grabbed a plastic chair and threw it at her mother, who urged her to “be nice.”
When she saw that Angie, who works as a nurse, did not want to give up and the [air weren’t going inside any time soon, the daughter decided to take drastic measures – grabbing her mum’s arm and trying to scratch it, before slapping her back.
”We are gonna stay out here until you’re ready,” Angie said after the little girl had shouted and smacker her again.
Since being posted on TikTok, the clip has taken the internet by storm, sparking a fierce debate amongst viewers – and even Angie had something to say about the parenting approach.
”I don’t care what y’all say, gentle parenting does not work for these new generations. I tried,” she said in the caption.
Thousands of gobsmacked social media users flocked to comments, where one said: ”Gentle parenting is for gentle children. My kid is gangster with a bad attitude so, so is her mama!”
Another mum chimed in: ”I do a combination of both.. start with gentle parenting then resort to old school tactics if that’s not working lol.”
Different parenting styles explained
There are four recognised styles of parenting explained below:
Authoritarian Parenting
What some might describe as ‘regimental’ or ‘strict parenting.
Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter.
When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway.”
Permissive Parenting
Often referred to as ‘soft parenting’ or ‘yes mums/dads’.
Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there’s a serious problem.
They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.”
Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children’s feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, like praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments.
Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting
Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.
They don’t set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs consistently.
”My mum would NOT let that slide, just a look and I would be dead,” a third penned.
”I literally gasped! What the heck?! She will do this to another child. No. No. No,” someone else mum-shamed Angie for not setting boundaries.
As thousands slammed the mum and shared how the issue would be dealt with at their homes, others raced to share tips and advice.
One person wrote: ”Teach her how to stop up and breath, and let her come to you when she’s ready to tell you what’s wrong.
”Don’t ignore her feelings by saying “be nice”, she needs to learn to regulate her emotions..”
