Psychologist reveals intriguing reason why we obsessively stalk our own social media profiles
If you’ve ever been tempted to scroll through your own social media profiles and imagine what others might think of your life, you’re not alone.
According to author and psychotherapist Eloise Skinner, it is a completely natural phenomenon that many people indulge in.
And the explanation why is intriguing. At its core, it’s all rooted in our desire to learn more about who we are as a person.
“The desire to understand how we are perceived has been in human instinct for generations,” the mental health professional said.
‘As we seek to understand ourselves – answering the timeless question of who am I? — we often base ourselves on the opinions and reflections of others.’
Looking at our own social media is a way of trying to understand our identity, a psychologist explained.
And if this feedback isn’t immediately available, Ms. Skinner explained Mashablewe try to imagine what it could be by exploring what others would see when they look at our social media profiles.
This need for social acceptance and status has been shaped by evolution over the years, says psychologist Zoe Mallet.
As a result, all humans have a deep-seated need for social approval that is only amplified by social media.
“It is an unconscious attempt to improve our social status, increase our chances of belonging and create a positive self-image, which is part of our survival mechanisms as humans,” says Mallet.
Stalking one’s own social media is just another way to control others’ perception of themselves, she explained.
The act can also be a way of giving meaning to the past, which prevents us from moving on with the present.
For others, however, self-stalking can be rooted in perfectionism.
‘[It] can come from a sense of insecurity about our sense of identity, how we come across to others, or even a sense of criticism about what we post and where we need to improve,” Ms Skinner said.
‘There’s a greater awareness of how we compare ourselves to others online – in other words, it’s easier to hold our digital lives up against someone else’s, to see what we like and don’t like.’
For most this is harmless, but for some it can become a harmful preoccupation.
“Social media can act as a repository for older versions of ourselves and our identities, so reflecting with appreciation, nostalgia or thoughtfulness can be a supportive, useful activity,” Ms Skinner added.
But if self-stalking makes you dwell too much on the past, be wary.
“If it makes us more self-conscious, self-centered or distracted from what we want to use social media for, it’s worth reconsidering the habit,” she said.
“When we post, we are validated by the responses we receive and get a hit of dopamine,” Dr. Mallet added.
‘We want that blow again and again, so of course we go back to the source where we experienced it before.
‘It’s not that we’re addicted to looking at our own Instagram. We’re addicted to the feeling we get when we do that.’
As many as 56.2 million people in the UK are active on social media, spending an average of one hour and 49 minutes on different platforms every day.
But experts have warned that too much time spent on social media can have negative consequences for mental health, especially among young people.
A number of studies have found a strong link between heavy social media use and an increased risk of depression.
And recent data from the US shows that adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media are at double the risk of anxiety symptoms.
As of 2023, the average daily use of this age group was 4.8 hours.
More than half of adolescents also say that routinely scrolling through social media makes them feel bad about their bodies, according to surveys.
