SARAH VINE: Congratulations on your 40th, Harry. But has all that pain been for nothing?

Turning 40 is a big moment for everyone. In many ways, it’s a moment of reckoning, a time to pause and take stock – and chart a path forward.

At 40, there are no more excuses: whatever path you take, whatever your successes or failures, it is all yours. Life at 40 is your own responsibility, your own creation. No more blaming your mother or father for screwing you over, as the poet once said, or hiding behind youthful inexperience.

And no more whining: you are already more than halfway through your seventies. Chop, chop: time is running out.

Harry and Meghan Markle attend a photo call at Kensington Palace to celebrate their engagement

Princess Diana, Prince Charles, Prince William and Prince Harry Princess Diana, Prince Charles and sons on holiday, Isles of Scilly

Harry told the BBC he was “excited” about turning 40. I will say: he will reportedly inherit £8 million from a trust fund left to him by the late Queen Mother.

For Prince Harry, his 40th birthday today marks the end of a process that began when he and Meghan left the UK for a new life in California.

It was a painful, long disconnection. The painful interviews have been given, the memoirs have been written, the dirty laundry has been aired. Bridges have been burned that may never be rebuilt. For better or for worse, Harry is now truly his own man.

Of course, not all of his privileges have been abandoned. Some of the less burdensome ones, such as his share of a £19 million trust fund left by the late Queen Mother to her great-grandchildren, remain.

Bridges have been burned that may never be rebuilt. For better or for worse, Harry is now truly his own man

While many tried to blame Meghan when the couple left the UK for California, I don’t believe it was ever really about her

Harry told the BBC he was “excited” about turning 40. I will say: he will reportedly inherit £8 million from that fund.

But it’s not just great-grandmother’s money that ties him to the old country. A poll in the MoS today suggests that a third of Britons approve of his permanent return to royal duties. Interesting. To me, it shows that there are plenty of people who still have a soft spot for Princess Diana’s youngest son.

I used to be one of them, but I’m not sure anymore.

I have always felt very sorry for Harry and William, not only Harry but also William, after they lost their mother under such terrible circumstances.

And as much as I admire and respect Charles and Camilla, I imagine that the couple’s behaviour during the difficult years of Charles’ marriage to Diana must not have been easy on the boys, to say the least.

Understandably, Harry is a wounded soul. But suffering a lot of pain doesn’t give you the right to do the same to others – and doing so doesn’t necessarily alleviate your own suffering. Part of being an adult is realizing this and trying to break the cycle of unhappiness instead of perpetuating it.

Harry, however, has done the opposite. He has taken a terrible revenge against his father and the Queen, turning against William and Kate for no apparent reason, except perhaps their decision to side with the King.

No wonder neither William nor Charles want to see him. Harry’s behavior is particularly toxic, given that the King and Princess of Wales are undergoing treatment for cancer. If he is truly the kind, considerate soul his supporters claim, he must know deep down that it is true.

Prince Harry and Prince William at the unveiling of their mother’s statue in the Sunken Garden at Kensington Palace on what would have been her 60th birthday

And yet, while I despair at his methods and actions, I understand in part why he wanted to leave. And while many tried to blame Meghan, I don’t believe it was ever really about her. It was about Harry and his damaged relationship with his family – and his desire to break his own generational curse. For that, I have to grudgingly respect him.

It takes enormous courage and determination to go against the expectations of people – and in Harry’s case, the nation. That he did so is a testament to his strength of character. That he did it so viciously and vindictively is not.

Should he consider an ‘official’ return to the UK? I don’t think so. It would be a step backwards and all that pain would be for nothing. He needs to find his own way forward. His decision not to update his autobiography, Spare, was a step in the right direction. But he still has a long way to go to prove that he can play a new role without exploiting the capital of the past.

Harry, I wish you the happiest birthday ever. May it be the start of a new and brighter chapter in your life – and for all the royals.

Be yourself, not Cindy II

Why do so-called “fake babies” (celebrity children) seem to have no ambitions of their own? Kaia Gerber, 23, for example, looks so much like her supermodel mother Cindy Crawford, 58, that it’s hard to tell them apart—especially when she dresses alike. Of course, Kaia is guaranteed to stand out. But it’s also a little sad.

Dressed the same: Cindy Crawford in 1993 and, right, her daughter Kaia Gerber last week

● The enduring image of last week was the sight of leering stragglers leaving prison under Labour’s early release scheme, celebrating with bottles of fizz, fast cars and pledging to vote Labour forever. While Sir Keir Starmer scrapped the winter fuel allowance for almost ten million pensioners, many of them were left unable to work. What a damning snapshot of this government’s priorities.

● As expected, a previously released prisoner is back in court – accused of sexually assaulting a prison guard who gave him a ride to the station. Truly, no good deed goes unpunished in this world turned upside down.

Is this true love?

Eamonn Holmes, 64, is a charming and personable man. But even the TV presenter’s closest friends might say he’s punching above his weight with his new 42-year-old girlfriend. Could there be more to him than meets the eye?

Our own stinking cat

Scottish Secretary Ian Murray called No10’s cat Larry ‘the most miserable animal’. Wrong. That award goes to my cat Cersei, who has to share a space with my daughter’s new kitten. I’ve just got rid of a smelly teenage boy and now I’m stuck with the cat equivalent. The fumes he emits should be banned. He’s an Egyptian Mau, apparently the equivalent of a cat Lamborghini. We’ve renamed him Chairman Mau.