Sexpert reveals 5 tips to ensure orgasm and skipping sex could be key

WE all want to have good sex, but sometimes it feels like no matter what you try, it doesn’t quite work out.

When you watch movies or hear others talk about sex, they often imply that they are seeing fireworks, but in reality that is not the case.

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Luckily, Paul Brunson, a relationship expert on Channel 4’s Married At First Sight and podcast host, sat down with sexpert and Dr Karen Gurney to reveal her tips for ensuring an orgasm.

Speaking on Paul’s podcast: We need to talk she said: “There’s no such thing as being good in bed. It’s an absolute myth.

“Because sex isn’t a skill like, I don’t know, playing the violin, which if you practice it enough you’ll get really good at.”

As with most things in life, she explained that sex has to be enjoyable for us to want it, otherwise it’s like showing up for work.

The first myth that needs to be debunked is that sex is always penetrative sex.

Sex can be done in many ways, including alone, with the same sex, with multiple people, foreplay – you name it, having an orgasm can happen in many ways, and as long as you enjoy it, that’s all that matters.

Keep it fresh

We all know that sex is more fun at the beginning of the relationship and Dr. Karen says that’s because it’s all brand new.

“Orgasms are easier to come by, maybe at the beginning of a relationship when there’s a lot of novelty, a lot of novelty, a lot of difference, high attraction, high arousal, a lot of mystery,” she explained.

“And that can become more challenging over time. So good sex is really about being able to let someone else go completely.”

Stay in the moment

When we experience “bad sex,” it’s often because we’re not fully in the moment.

According to the doctor, 92% of people have non-sexual thoughts during intercourse. These can range from thinking about whether you turned off the stove, to mind wandering, to insecurities about your body.

She added: ‘These thoughts are very common, very normal, nothing to worry about.

“But the opposite of being completely caught up in the moment, which is this great sex we were talking about, is having a constant commentary going through your head about all the things you’re thinking about or worrying about.”

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Mix it

There are many statistics about the orgasm gap between men and women, but the worst numbers are found between male and female partners.

Women who have sex with regular male partners can expect the number of orgasms to drop from 95 percent to about 65 percent, while for men it does not drop.

There are numerous reasons for this, says Dr. Karen, who advises people not to view penetrative sex as the only way to perform.

Women tend to prioritize foreplay and masturbation over penetrative sex to achieve orgasm, so make sure you mix up the ways you have sex and find what works for you, even if that means not having penetration need.

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Stop faking it

As we’ve established, no one is good in bed. Rather, it’s about open communication with your partner about what you like and don’t like.

Faking an orgasm won’t get you any closer to the end goal, so it’s time to be assertive, says the sex expert.

It may be difficult at first, but try to open up the conversation and say what feels right.

The more you talk, the closer you get, and if you’re not sure what you like, you’ll find out quickly.

Exchange office

The term sexual currency was coined by Dr. Karen and refers to the sexual charge between you and your sexual partner. No sexual acts.

The time we spend in a year actually having sex is small, so often it’s what happens outside the bedroom that matters and fuels desire.

She explained: “Our sex life is always in flux. It’s not an on-off switch. So we don’t have a sexual relationship with our partner and then we have sex and we have a sexual relationship.

“We have always had a sexual relationship with our partner. And that is the sexual currency.”

This can be anything from holding hands, long kisses, grabbing bums or suggestive comments.

To keep the desire going, the sex expert recommends keeping track of sexual affairs in daily life.