Social services came to my door when I had my first baby, says Ashley James
ASHLEY James has revealed life in the spotlight isn’t all glitz and glamour, with trolls even calling social services.
The 37-year-old shares daughter Ada, one, and son Alfie, three, with her partner of five years Tommy Andrews.
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Ashley has amassed more than 437,000 Instagram followers since appearing on Made In Chelsea and Celebrity Big Brother.
However, the reality TV star revealed in a new episode of the podcast A gentle start: Timotei’s shower cast that not everyone who follows her is a fan.
“When I was pregnant with my daughter Ada, I experienced trolling on a different level,” she said.
“I was actually reported to social services for neglect and it all came back to this online anonymous gossip website.
“I think I was really upset about it at the time, but actually I quickly think that sadness or fear has actually been replaced by anger.
“I know how loved my children are and I know that I am such a good mother, which is strangely something I have never doubted.”
Ashley said her parenting choices are influenced by the different challenges her children may face in the future.
She has noticed that people talk to them differently because of their gender.
“So with my son Alfie it’s like, ‘oh, he’s going to be a heartthrob,’” she said.
“I don’t want him to become another victim of toxic masculinity, feeling like he needs to toughen up, and I don’t want Ada to feel like she needs to be meek or quiet.
‘What if I don’t like boys who tell me to be quiet? Why was that never an option?”
Ashley’s decision to let her children be themselves without conforming to society’s expectations is representative of how she lives her own life.
She said that starting around 2014, posting unedited photos of herself on Instagram “felt pretty radical.”
“It wasn’t really common to see people who weren’t photoshopped or filtered themselves,” she said.
“I think fortunately it is much more normal now.”
“I wanted my Instagram to be a little more honest for myself, but also for other women,” she added.
The This Morning presenter constantly reminds herself not to worry about how other people will perceive her.
She said old photos of her look “soulless” because of the way they are edited.
Different parenting techniques
Here are some commonly recognized methods:
Authoritative parenting
This technique will often promote independence, self-discipline and high self-esteem in children.
It is often considered the most effective. With this technique, parents set clear expectations, enforce rules, and show warmth and support at the same time.
Authoritarian parenting
This is the opposite of authoritative parenting, because the parent has high demands but little responsiveness.
What matters is that the child is obedient and that punitive measures are often taken. While this can lead to disciplined behavior, it can also lead to lower self-esteem and lower self-esteem and social skills in children.
Permissive parenting
Permissive parents tend to be permissive and permissive, often taking on a role more like that of a friend than that of an authority figure. They are very responsive, but make few demands, giving children a lot of freedom. This method can promote creativity and a free-spirited nature, but it can also result in poor self-regulation and problems with authority.
Uninvolved parenting
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is characterized by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category provide minimal guidance, care or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative consequences for their emotional and social development.
Helicopter parenting
Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, often micro-managing their children’s lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.
Free-range parenting
Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their environment with minimal parental intervention. This method promotes independence and resilience, but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.
Parenting attachment
According to Marriage.comAttachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and babywearing. This approach focuses on creating secure attachments and emotional well-being, but requires a lot of time and emotional involvement from parents.
Each of these parenting techniques has its own strengths and weaknesses. The key is finding a balanced approach that aligns with the family’s values and meets the child’s needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.
Ashley believed that people should live for themselves.
“It’s a bit cheesy to say, but I always think that when I’m on my deathbed, I won’t say ‘Thank God I didn’t eat carbs’ or ‘Thank God I could wear the smaller dress size.’ ” she said.
“You think about the people you’ve hugged or the mountains you’ve climbed.
“Whatever your body makes you do, it doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as you’re strong and healthy.”
Ashley was ‘exhausted’ and worried about other people’s opinions while starring in Made in Chelsea.
She appeared on the reality TV show for two seasons in 2013.
It revolves around the lives of rich people, but at that time she was living in her outdraft.
“I couldn’t afford the subway, so I walked to the set,” she said.
“I kind of felt like I was living a weird lie and I think that’s why I’m so unapologetic about who I am now.”
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