The 8 signs YOU’RE the neighbor’s nightmare — and the one garden status symbol our etiquette expert says could cause a stir
If you let your kids play in the yard before 8 a.m. – or if you’ve ever mowed your lawn at 8 p.m. – it may already be too late.
The list of infractions that irritate your neighbors and make you the subject of gossip in the WhatsApp group is long. Often this is the result of forgetting how terrible neighbor disputes can be.
“We don’t choose our family, we don’t choose our neighbors. We’re pushed together,” says etiquette coach and author Jo Bryant. “It’s all about balance, consideration, and good communication.
‘But being British, we often expect people to know what we want, even though we don’t actually say it. Good neighbourly etiquette means always being mindful of how we make other people feel and how our actions impact them.’
Good neighbor etiquette means always being mindful of how we make other people feel and how our actions impact them.
She adds: ‘If your relationship with your neighbours deteriorates, it will be a stain on the landscape forever… We all have different things that bother us, so be aware of where your lives collide.’
These Are the 8 Signs You’re the Neighbor Everyone Hates…
You let your children play outside at an early age
People rarely think about the noise of the early morning. They are more focused on the evening. But very young children playing outside at the crack of dawn in the summer is unfair – especially on weekends.
You can probably get away with letting your kids out sometime between 8 and 9 a.m., but anything before 8 a.m. on a Saturday or Sunday is definitely not a good idea.
It’s so annoying when you’re trying to work from home and all you can hear is your neighbor chatting loudly on Zoom
Everyone can hear your Zoom meeting
Try not to be the loud-voiced person who throws open the double doors and all the windows and then sits in on Zoom meetings so the neighbors can hear every word. You’ve created your own boombox of noise and no one will thank you for it.
You use the adjacent location as a delivery point
Most businesses will let you specify a preferred neighbor to deliver your order to if you are not there. Ask them first and offer to do the same for them.
If your neighbor picks up your package for you, it is your duty to pick it up as soon as possible. There is nothing worse than having a large package in your hallway, seeing someone come home from work, and then waiting endlessly for him to come and pick it up.
It is the responsibility of the person who missed the delivery to collect it as soon as possible.
You own a noisy hot tub
Pay attention to the settings to make sure it is on silent mode. Often people are bothered by the monotonous sound of the mechanism of the hot tub itself.
That said, people sitting in a hot tub can also be noisy, so if you must install one, place it as far away from your neighbor’s house as possible.
Be respectful to your neighbours: they do not want to be disturbed by you mowing the lawn at unusual times.
You mow the lawn at 8pm
If you have a lawn, don’t mow it during mealtimes. Especially not at 8pm on the only warm evening of the year, when people are likely to be eating outside.
Also, don’t buy a pressure hose and then spend your time looking for things to rinse off. People don’t want that to be the soundtrack to their summer.
You overwhelm your neighbors
It’s a good idea to visit new neighbors when they move in, so you know what you’re getting into. Of course, when you get a new neighbor, you think about the negatives instead of the positives, and no one’s first reaction is, “Oh great, we’ve got new people next door.”
There is no reason to invite everyone and force yourself on them. It is too overwhelming and you also run the risk of falling into the trap of being invited again. That can lead to you hiding in your own house to avoid the obligation.
Remember that neighbors are just that, and not necessarily your friends, unless you develop a natural friendship over time. Instead, just stop by and introduce yourself – and no, you don’t have to bring a basket full of pastries.
No one wants to hear you play guitar at your party, even if it’s just a one-person party.
You throw parties without warning
If people are warned in advance about unexpected noise pollution from a party, it is very difficult for them to complain, as long as you stick to the agreed limits.
But if neighbors don’t know how long the music or noise will last, they get more nervous. I always recommend giving a start and end time.
Please note that if you say you will ensure it is completed by 11pm and it is not, your neighbours have the right to not knock on your door until 11:30pm.
For special, one-off occasions, a later end time may be necessary, if everyone has been warned in advance. However, for regular weekend gatherings and noise, you should end earlier, for example before 22:00, especially if you have neighbours with small children.
You are constantly complaining
Whatever you do, don’t be the constant complaining neighbor. You’ll just become an annoyance that people ignore.
Don’t be the one shaking at the curtains to see if the people at number four have put the trash can in the right square meter.
Always stay in the background for a while, so that the complaint you file seems more reasonable, sincere and has an impact, instead of constantly nagging people.