The art of college football recruiting is all about, “It’s almost like a breakup. It’s so disheartening’

Sterling Sanders felt tears welling up.

It was late October and Sanders was elated. He had just committed to Boston College in coach Bill O’Brien’s office. A handshake sealed the deal.

The three-star defensive lineman from Blytheville, S.C., had always dreamed of playing at the Power 4 level, but wasn’t sure the opportunity would ever come. That changed when Boston College received its first – and only – P4 offer in early October. And the offer was too good to pass up.

There were tears of joy.

“I couldn’t believe I would get this far,” Sanders said.

There was one problem: He had been committed to Georgia Southern since June. He developed a close relationship with coach Clay Helton and the entire Eagles staff, especially “Miss Lex,” as Sanders called director of campus recruiting Lex Villarreal. She, like everyone else, had comforted him through the death of a high school teammate.

Now he had to tell her and the rest of the coaching staff that he had just committed to another school.

“I really liked Georgia Southern. Georgia Southern did everything for me,” Sanders said. “It was very difficult to turn around.

“I thought, ‘Okay, let me make this big decision. I need to put on my big boy pants. ”

Sanders called his position coach to tell him the news, but it went to voicemail, so he texted instead of leaving a message. He also texted Villarreal and was relieved when Georgia Southern staffers wished him well and told him they understood his decision.

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But the turnaround was still difficult for him, as it is for many prospects who change their minds and ultimately go back on their word – often after several months at their old school.

And it’s only going to get tougher — for prospects and programs alike — as the turnaround gets closer to the early signing period, which begins Wednesday.

“It’s so interesting because when you turn a child over, it’s super exciting. But when you lose a kid, it’s devastating,” said a Big Ten recruiting executive who was granted anonymity in exchange for candor. “You build that relationship and you know their birthdays and you know what’s going on in their lives — (whether) they have prom or homecoming or whatever it may be, and ‘Oh, he took his girlfriend a date’ or ‘It’s his girlfriend’s birthday.’

“You invest so much time that when they turn around, it’s almost like a breakup. It’s so disheartening.”

According to the 247Sports database, there have been 504 decommitments in the 2025 cycle.

In the last seven days there have been 35 somersaults. Three of the nation’s top six quarterbacks changed their bets during a five-day period last month: Bryce Underwood (LSU to Michigan), Husan Longstreet (Texas A&M to USC) and Julian Lewis (USC to Colorado).

A school often knows when a flip is unavoidable.

Four-star linebacker Dawson Merritt said Alabama coaches had an idea of ​​what could happen after online recruiting services started predicting him at Nebraska. He proved them right when he went to the Cornhuskers on November 14.

“I wouldn’t say they were expecting it,” Merritt said of the Alabama staff. “But they weren’t shocked or anything.”

The first indication that a prospect might hesitate, the Big Ten staffer said, is when he starts visiting other programs despite already having committed elsewhere. Sometimes prospects downplay the seriousness of those visits, but part of the job in any recruiting department is to become an expert at reading the signals.

Sterling Sanders took a Power 4 offer from Boston College despite his commitment to Georgia Southern. (Courtesy of Sterling Sanders)

“(A prospect will) tell his position coach at the school he’s committed to, ‘Hey, I just want to take a PT here and check it out,’” the staffer said. ‘A trip for my mother, coach. A trip for my mother.’ And then it comes down to it, and that’s where they end up going.

“It’s rare that it’s a somersault that you don’t know anything about. Flips you don’t know about usually happen literally within 24 hours of signing day and someone is offered more (name, image and likeness money).”

With the introduction of NIL into college sports, many somersaults can indeed be financially motivated. At last year’s Under Armor All-America Game media day, a prospect said a school told him that if he committed early and helped get other recruits into the class, he could make $40,000 a month until he signed. Another recruit said a school offered him a signing bonus equal to the price of “a really nice car.”

“I think with NIL… some people love the opportunity, the brand, where they sit on the depth chart and they love the coaches,” the recruiter said. “And some of them go to college and make an extra $50,000.

“That’s one of them: ‘How do you respond?’ When it comes to the money, did that guy give us the opportunity to put more money on the table and we didn’t have it, we couldn’t do it, we didn’t feel like he was valued at that number? Or it’s like, ‘Okay, you know what? This is going to be a numbers game and we’re going to keep fighting.”

Merritt, ranked No. 120 overall in the Class of 2025, said another top prospect who flipped in a previous cycle told him the head coach wanted to give him three days to see if the school could come up with more money to keep him. The prospect still turned, but with that in mind, Merritt gave Alabama and his collective a two-day window to retain him before calling Nebraska coaches and heading to the Cornhuskers.

“I’ve heard a lot of stories,” Merritt said. “So I wanted to tell Alabama first, just in case they did something crazy to keep me. I wanted to make sure I told them first.”

The Crimson Tide ultimately failed to effect any change, said Merritt, who lives in Kansas and first started thinking seriously about nearby Nebraska when he watched the Cornhuskers beat Colorado 28-10 in September.

His process began as so many somersaults do.

“It really just starts with a little bit of flirting with the other school,” he said. “They text you every now and then and maybe they call you, so you have fun.”

In mid-fall, Merritt and his parents made a list of the pros and cons of Nebraska and Alabama. Nebraska came out on top.

He first broke the news to the Alabama staff and then had a video call with Nebraska coach Matt Rhule to tell him the good news.

“Then I called the defensive coordinator and they were in a defensive position meeting, which was great,” Merritt said. “I called him and told him and they all started jumping up in the conference room. It was super funny.”

Merritt didn’t know it at the time, of course, but Nebraska’s defensive coordinator, Tony White, would perform his own somersault a few weeks later when he left to become the new defensive coordinator at Florida State.

The Big Ten employee said that while it is very frustrating to lose a prospect, there is something to be said for being the flipper instead of the flippee.

“That,” the staffer said, “is so satisfying.”

Don’t be surprised if there are a large number of flips this week during the early signing period.

Last minute NIL offers can change everything. And the transfer portal has made high school students feel like they need to make a commitment as soon as possible to secure a spot in a class — even if they’re not really ready to make a decision yet.

“You go into the season really confused and lost, just trying to figure out where your team is going to be,” said three-star defensive lineman Wilnerson Telemaque, who transferred from Wisconsin to West Virginia in early November and still plans to sign with the Mountaineers despite the firing of coach Neal Brown on Sunday night.

“Thanks to the transfer portal, not many schools are taking as many high school students as they used to. So now they’re telling us to do our transits in the summer, make sure we reserve a spot and then see how it goes during the season. As colleges make more and more non-binding offers throughout the season, the offers you think are real are unfortunately real for guys from the transfer portal.”

Wilnerson Telemaque switched from Wisconsin to West Virginia. (Courtesy of Wilnerson Telemaque)

The hardest part of flipping, Merritt said, is breaking the news to the coaching staff at the previous school.

Merritt took the day off to call Alabama head coach Kalen DeBoer, outside linebackers coach Christian Robinson and general manager Courtney Morgan to explain his decision.

“That was probably the hardest thing I did during my recruiting process,” he said. “I wanted to do it the right way. I didn’t want to just flip or text people. I wanted to call a lot of the guys.

Three-star running back Justin Thurman, who transferred to Kansas from Notre Dame in mid-November, did the same.

“I obviously had a respectful conversation with the Notre Dame coaches,” Thurman said. “I just told them that I actually feel like I’ve decided to turn around my commitment and thank you for the opportunity,” because not everyone gets those opportunities to play high-caliber football. But in the end, I really felt like it was the best decision for me to change schools.”

He made it clear that he did not want to burn any bridges with Notre Dame.

“You never know what can happen in this college world, especially with all the dynamics… just really since the transfer portal went into effect.”

In the meantime, Merritt, Thurman, Telemaque and Sanders said they feel at peace now that their decision has been made and the turnaround is complete. All that’s left now is to make it official with the paperwork on Wednesday.

“My advice to any athlete who is flipping, I feel like once you flip, you just have to know you’re making the right move, the right decision,” said three-star safety Charleston Floyd, who transferred from Georgia Southern in October Old Dominion switched. .

“(You) just put yourself above everything else and follow your heart. If you feel like this is the best move for you, then take the step.”

(Illustration: Dan Goldfarb / The athletic; photo courtesy of Sterling Sanders)