The exact question to ask your children will reveal whether you are doing a good job as a parent
A PHILOSOPHER has revealed the one question you can ask your children to find out if you’re doing a good job raising them.
Alain de Botton is a famous author best known for his books Essays In Love and The Architecture of happiness.
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Now he has sat down with 20VC podcast host Harry Stebbings to discuss parenting.
In the video Alain unveiled, you can find out how well you’ve done raising confident children by asking one question: whether they want to be famous.
He said: “A sign of good parenting is that your child has no desire to be famous.”
The philosopher further explained that this is because they have enough internal validation that they will not seek it externally.
He continued, “They don’t try to be known by strangers.
‘They can be satisfied that they are known by a small circle of people who actually know them.
“So it’s a two-way street rather than a broadcast system.”
Alain explained that people seek fame for status that they hope will earn them respect and love.
However, as we know, fame can often do the exact opposite.
“What they discover instead is jealousy, insecurity and resistance,” Alain added.
The clip went viral on the TikTok account @20vc_tok with over 2.5 million views and 291,000 likes.
People were quick to respond to the comments and many were divided by Alain’s exploration.
One person wrote: “Damn. We all just clocked ourselves.”
Another noted, “Internal validation is worth its weight in gold.”
“I think it’s pretty normal for kids to want to be famous,” a third wrote.
Different parenting techniques
Here are some commonly recognized methods:
Authoritative parenting
This technique will often promote independence, self-discipline and high self-esteem in children.
It is often considered the most effective technique. With this technique, parents set clear expectations, enforce rules, and show warmth and support at the same time.
Authoritarian parenting
This is the opposite of authoritative parenting, because the parent has high demands but little responsiveness.
What matters is that the child is obedient and that punitive measures are often taken. While this can lead to disciplined behavior, it can also lead to lower self-esteem and lower self-esteem and social skills in children.
Permissive parenting
Permissive parents tend to be permissive and permissive, often taking on a role more like that of a friend than that of an authority figure. They are very responsive, but make few demands, giving children a lot of freedom. This method can promote creativity and a free-spirited nature, but it can also result in poor self-regulation and problems with authority.
Uninvolved parenting
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is characterized by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category provide minimal guidance, care or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative consequences for their emotional and social development.
Helicopter parenting
Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, often micro-managing their children’s lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.
Free-range parenting
Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their environment with minimal parental intervention. This method promotes independence and resilience, but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.
Parenting attachment
According to Marriage.comAttachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and babywearing. This approach is aimed at creating secure attachments and emotional well-being, but requires a lot of time and emotional involvement from parents.
Each of these parenting techniques has its own strengths and weaknesses. The key is finding a balanced approach that aligns with the family’s values and meets the child’s needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.
Meanwhile, a fourth said: “That explains a lot.”
“I have no desire to be famous but that’s not because my parents were good at parenting lol,” a fifth claimed.
Someone else added: “I don’t want to be famous, but I want to be famous money.”
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