Editor’s Note: This is a Weird and Wild short. To read the full Weird and Wild column from this week, go here.
For weeks, months to be honest, we spent far too much of our precious time making all-consuming comparisons between the 2024 White Sox and Casey Stengel’s legendarily hapless 1962 Mets. But now we know: that was actually the wrong comparison.
These White Sox (current record: 33-114) would need a miracle to surpass those ’62 Mets (40-120). So it’s time to do something I never thought would happen: It’s time to turn our attention to those even more legendary 1899 Cleveland Spiders (attractive final record: 20-134).
I came to this startling conclusion on Thursday morning, when the reality of this crazy number hit me:
81 games under .500!!!
As a long-time chronicler of all things weird and wild, I’ve seen a lot. But I thought to myself as I stared at the booth: Have I ever seen THAT? Have I ever seen a team go 81 fucking games under .500?
Here’s the truth: No. I. Have Not. And neither do you, unless you’re a spry 108 years old. And even if you are indeed 108, your memory of previous 81-under-.500 history may be a little fuzzy. So let me catch you up.
The Mets of ’62? Sorry. Never got below 81.
The Tigers of 2003? Sorry, they didn’t make it either.
Both teams fell to 80 under. But it takes a truly special group to fall below 80 games under the sea. So let’s honor these White Sox, because they are one of those extraordinary teams that took a wrong turn and kept going.
And who are these extraordinary teams? Here they are — the only teams in American League/National League/19th-century American Association history to ever hit 81 under or worse (in chronological order):
Whitey Witt’s 1916 A’s — They fell to 81 under at 33-114, just like these White Sox, except it was only September 27th and they only had six games left in the season… but somehow they won three! (Final score: 36-117.)
Harry Colliflower’s Spiders from 1899 — There’s a reason the Spiders are the poster boys for single-season futility, you know. They fell to 81 under on August 31 (at 19-100). They had 35 games left… and they lost 34! (Final result: 20-134.)
Kirtley Baker’s Alleghenys from 1890 — Back in the day, before the Spiders, these guys were the epitome of 19th century ineptitude. They fell to 81 under on September 16th (at 21-102). They had 14 games left … and won two! (Final score: 23-113, plus two ties.)
Toad Ramsey’s 1889 Colonels — The worst team in the glorious history of the American Association, the Colonels fell to 81 under at 26-107. Luckily, it was October 8th, so they only had five games left… and won one! (Final record: 27-111.)
And that’s the whole 81-Under Club. But if you’ve been paying attention (in case we throw you a White Sox quiz at the end of the 2024 season), you might have noticed something. Only once, in nearly a century and a half of Major League history, has a team woken up so early in September and been 81 games under .500 or worse. And that was … the 1899 Spiders, because that’s what they were!
But now the Spiders have company, in this 2024 White Sox? What a time to be alive.
GALLING DEEPER
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With Wednesday’s loss to the Guardians, the White Sox are now 1-27 in their last 28 home games. (Kamil Krzaczynski/Imagn Images)
But in the meantime, in other important White Sox news…
They can’t go home anymore! Since the second game of their doubleheader against Minnesota on July 10, the White Sox are 1-27 when playing baseball at their home stadium. One and 27! According to Baseball Reference, only one other team in the modern era has ever gone 1-27 at home (or worse). And that was the 1916 A’s (also 1-27, in a messy 28-game stretch in July and August).
So that means that since that game against the Twins on July 10th, nine teams have more wins at Guaranteed Rate Field than the team that plays half its season there. There would be more teams, of course, but only nine have been allowed to play there by the schedule makers of America.
Unmatched! That seems impossible, but the White Sox are now 6-43 in the second half. Six and 43! Does this seem bad? How about historically bad. Since the invention of All-Star breaks, the fewest games a team has won in the second half of a season without a strike is 15, by Orie Arntzen’s 1943 A’s (15-61). I’m starting to think the White Sox aren’t going to catch up.
Late starters! In a similar development, the White Sox starters are now 2-30 in the second half. Two and thirty! The record for worst second-half winning percentage of any rotation is .167 (7-35), by Paolo Espino’s 2022 Nationals. I’m starting to think the White Sox might not make that bracket either.
No one will save you! On those rare occasions when the White Sox do get a lead, they’ve been known to ask their bullpen to protect it. Here’s how it went:
When they use their relievers in save situations, their bullpen is now 3-17. Three and 17! Plus a 7.79 ERA, 31 blown saves and (somehow) more home runs allowed (26) than saves cashed (18).
I spent far too long poring over the Baseball Reference files. How many other teams could I find, since the modern save rule began in 1969, with more gopherballs than saves in those situations? That would be none!
I could go on about this for hours. But did you know that…
• This White Sox team hasn’t started a pitcher with a winning record in over a month? Not even a 1-0 opener. It’s now 36 games in a row, the fourth-longest streak in franchise history.
• The White Sox have now lost their first game of the season each month – April, May, June, July, August and September? That kind of consistency can’t be beat.
• It’s September 13th… and the White Sox won 33 games! Remember when the Guardians won their 33rd game? How about May 22nd! That was three and a half months (and 111 days) ago!
• And finally, is it too late to wish Loyola or Chicago icon Sister Jean a happy 105th birthday? As a friend of mine reminded me on Sister Jean’s birthday last month, she’s been gracing our planet for more than a century. And she’s seen the White Sox win a postseason series in exactly one of those 105 years (2005, of course). I’m starting to think the chances of her winning another series in October are slim.
GALLING DEEPER
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(Top photo of Luis Robert Jr.: Matt Krohn/Associated Press)
