THRIVING AFTER 50 YEARS: My son wants me to sell my house so he and his wife can buy their own home. He said I can live in a granny flat in the back. Should I do it?

Dear Vanessa,

I am a widow in my early sixties and my son and his wife are expecting their first child. He’s asked me to sell my house so they can put a down payment on their own house, and he says I could live with them in a granny flat in the back.

I do get lonely, so the idea of ​​being with them and my new grandchild sounds wonderful. But I’m afraid things might not go as smoothly as he thinks. His wife and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, and sometimes I feel like she doesn’t like me that much. The last thing I want to do is sell my house, move in with them and then feel like a burden if something goes wrong.

I want to help my son, but I’m nervous about giving up my independence and the home I’ve had for years. Is there another way I can support him without sacrificing my own safety?

Thank you,

Joyce.

Send your questions to leading money teacher Vanessa Stoykov at floringafter50@dailymail.com.au

Leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov (above)

Dear Joyce, You are clearly a caring mother and it is understandable that you want to help your son start a family. But selling your home and moving in with them is a big decision, especially considering your independence and the comfort your home provides. It is very wise to take some time to think about your own needs as well as theirs.

One option is to find an apartment or a smaller home nearby, instead of living together. This way you are still close by for support and can be close to your new grandchild, while maintaining your own space and safety.

If you haven’t already done so, it may be helpful to have your home appraised. Knowing its value will give you a clear idea of ​​what you have to work with. And if you still have debt on your house, this is a good time to think about how that will affect your plans.

Your health and well-being are also important to take into account. As we age, health needs can change, and elder care can be quite expensive if you need it in the future. It is essential not to sell yourself short by giving away too much now. Ensuring you have a solid financial cushion can give you peace of mind and the freedom to manage any future health or care needs.

Encourage your son to take a closer look at his own finances and calculate how much he really needs from you for a down payment. He may be able to take out a mortgage for a large part of the purchase himself. I offer a free tool on my website who can show him competitive interest rates to help him get a realistic idea of ​​his options. This can be a valuable way for him to consider different paths without relying solely on your help.

It may also be worth sitting down with a financial advisor to explore options that will support them while protecting your own future. This is a good time to talk about topics like inheritance, elder care, and the big picture for your later years. By having these conversations now, you can ensure both needs are met, with a plan that works for everyone.

I have one free resource on my website to help you start the conversation with him about inheritance and get you thinking about your future.

It’s great that you’re willing to help, but make sure you’re taken care of too. Your home, health and independence are all valuable, but your peace of mind is important too.

Kind regards,

Vanessa.