A WORKING couple take a day off from their baby every week to get a “guaranteed” good night’s sleep and say it makes them “better parents”.
Lauren, 31, and Ross Stevens, 34, were looking for childcare solutions for their 14-month-old daughter Sophie so Lauren could return to work.
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The parents, from Edinburgh, could not afford the £1,700 monthly bill for full-time childcare and have no family in the city.
They decided that Ross’s parents would pick up their granddaughter from nursery every Monday and take her back to their home 90 miles away in Ayrshire.
Sophie will then stay overnight, after which they will take her back to the nursery on Tuesday afternoon, where Lauren will pick her up again.
During the day, the parents can enjoy a good night’s sleep and do household chores. In addition, Sophie can spend time with her grandparents.
Lauren, who works in the financial sector, said: “Childcare is so expensive.
“It’s three times our mortgage to have her five days a week. Even four days was double that.
“I asked Ross’ parents if they would be interested in doing the overnight. They wanted to help.
“I thought it was brilliant.
“I get to do things like shopping, cleaning. Because we have that free time, we get everything done.
“I’m guaranteed a good night’s sleep. She didn’t sleep until she was 11 months old – we’re really sleep deprived.
“It makes us better parents.
“Then I can concentrate on being with her.”
Lauren and Ross, a construction company, pay for two half days of childcare a week – which costs £79 – and two days of childcare with a childminder.
Ross’s parents look after Sophie from Monday afternoon to Tuesday afternoon at their home in Ayrshire, an hour and a half’s drive from here.
On Wednesdays Lauren is with Sophie and the rest of the week she goes to a childminder.
Lauren was a little concerned about the arrangement at first.
She said: “The fact that it was formal was nerve-wracking.
“It comes with challenges. There’s guilt about it.”
Lauren uses the time to do housework and household chores, but also to have some time for herself.
She said, “I don’t need to sneak around. I’m going to take a bath.”
“Then I don’t have to stress about cleaning the house anymore. It takes all that away.
“We don’t feel like dropping her off with her family for half an hour.”
Different Parenting Styles Explained
Four recognized parenting styles are explained below:
Authoritarian parenting
What some would describe as ‘regimental’ or ‘strict parenting’.
Parents with this style emphasize strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents take over decision-making power and rarely allow their children to have a say.
When it comes to rules, you believe that it’s “my way or the highway.”
Permissive parenting
Often referred to as ‘soft parenting’ or ‘yes moms/dads’.
Permissive parents are indulgent and only intervene when there is a serious problem.
They are quite forgiving and have a ‘kids will be kids’ attitude.
They often act more like friends than authority figures.
Authoritarian parenting
Authoritarian parents give their children rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make their own decisions.
With an authoritarian parenting style, parents acknowledge their children’s feelings, but also make it clear that adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, such as praise and reward systems, rather than harsh punishment.
Neglectful or uninvolved parenting
Neglectful parents essentially ignore their children, who receive little guidance, care, and parental attention.
They don’t set rules or expectations and generally have little knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They do not spend much time or energy on meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents can be neglectful, but it is not always intentional. For example, a parent with mental health issues or substance abuse may not consistently care for a child’s physical or emotional needs.
The couple haven’t yet used their free time for a night out, but hope to do so once a month in the future.
Lauren says it’s also so Sophie’s grandparents can spend some quality time with her.
She said, “It’s more meaningful to them. They hug each other before bed. It’s more beautiful memories.
“They absolutely love it. They wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Lauren says she’s received a number of indirect compliments from friends and strangers on the internet.
She said: “They say, ‘I wish I had that, but I just can’t live without it.
“I’m only human. I have to make sure all my glasses are full.
“Otherwise you are not a good parent.”
