Why we left our failed marriages to go together and stand together in the municipality of a sister … Without permitted men

The date, on a fantasy London Restaurant, had been pleasant. However, it never crossed the spirit of Sharon Gavin to invite her five months ago to her place.

There was absolutely no way she would take him to her parental home. The strange meeting place in a hotel or a night in his house was completely acceptable, but no partner would ever exceed her threshold.

It was not that businesswoman Sharon, 50, had something to hide; She had no secret affair. But there was a ‘significant other’ in her life – and it was out of respect for them that the rule ‘no gentleman callers’ was in place.

This was someone she loved and trusted over everyone else; Her older sister Lauretta, 53.

Both divorce, they have lived together for 11 years while they have their children co-parenting Sharon’s 12-year-old son Carter and Lauretta’s daughter Florence, 15-in a house with five bedrooms in North London.

It is a perfect marriage for all purposes. They share everything (it is Lauretta’s house and Sharon pays rent – while she rents her own flat elsewhere). Porkers and accounts are fairly assigned. Nobody touches nagging about taking the trays or leaving the toilet seat.

The sisters are ‘completely stunned’ when others suggest that their lives would be better if they could find a man.

‘Couples have expectations of each other – how much attention did my partner have given me? Are they still in love with me? Does their bad mood mean that we are growing apart? “Says Sharon. ‘None of those things are a factor in our brother or sister relationship; And whatever is going on for me, Lauretta just gets it.

“I would really have trouble meeting a man who loves my son, takes care of me when I am sick, makes me laugh, listens to me who moans about the details of my day and makes my dinner every night, as Lauretta does.”

As far as their children are concerned, Carter and Florence are so close to brothers and sisters while each maintains their own special bond with their own mother.

Perhaps not surprising, the approach to parenting of the sisters is very to each other, with both believing in a lot of love and emotional support in combination with fixed borders. They are also not satisfied, tends to take the side of their own child in any argument, of which there are enough.

“I call them” my children, “because we brought them together,” says Sharon. “But Carter will come to me when he is up and runs to Lauretta. However, if one of us is not there, the other makes a good second best. ‘

Their children are of course a consideration when it comes to the no-boyfriend house rule. Lauretta explains that neither of them will bring a man ‘out of respect for the whole family unit’.

“Of course, if one of us were madly in love,” she continues, “and really wanted a man to be part of the family we would discuss it … But that didn’t happen.”

Nor is one of them in a hurry to do this.

Sharon’s longest relationship, since her marriage ended in 2014, was six months and ended last year. Since then she has been acquitted of dating apps -and dating in general -.

Lauretta is also not a hurry to ‘go back there’. She gave up online dating when Florence was small, after she realized that she would rather catch up or watch TV, then a chat with a random stranger in a pub. She has been single since then. “There is a huge exaggerated emphasis on finding romantic love,” says Lauretta.

‘People think it is the all and the end, while I believe there is just as much satisfaction to get out of our relationships with our children, brothers and sisters and parents, without all those complications.

“Because Sharon and I have each other, we are neither lonely enough to tolerate the mediocre, let alone difficult relationships with men.”

The Gavins, actresses who also run a wellness and retreat company together are often reminded of how unique their situation is, usually by women who fall into two camps: those who could think of nothing more worse than life with their sister, and others who make their family closeness jealous.

Although it is remarkably rare, it is known that the sisters fall out.

Memorable, a few years ago during vacation in Portugal, Sharon and Lauretta navigated – a flash point for many romantic couples – when the shouting became so bad that Lauretta told her sister to stop and climbed out of the car.

“The children who were in the back seat still tease us about it.”

But otherwise they have made the best of their sister -based ‘commune’.

Lauretta and her ex-husband had been together for four years when they got married and divorced a year later when Lauretta was pregnant from Florence.

Although Florence has always spent time with her father, with whom Lauretta has remained on friendly conditions, it was, she says, ‘really, really difficult’ to be pregnant and then only to take care of a baby. Sharon, who lived in the neighborhood, stepped in to help with feeding and changing, giving Lauretta the much needed breaks.

When, four years later, Sharon’s two -year marriage ended and she was alone with a one -year -old son, Lauretta welcomed her sister with open arms in her house.

And boy, Sharon needed the support of her sister. Six weeks after her pregnancy, Sharon had become unwell, the development of a skin rash and joint pain that became worse until she was unable to stand without help or even hold a toothbrush.

She was eventually diagnosed with the autoimmune disease dermatomyositis, which is similar to Lupus, and took such a serious toll that Lauretta was like a ‘second mother’ for her son.

In their search to get Sharon good, the sisters have fully overhauled their diet, cut out all the processed food and become ‘teetotal vegans’. Sharon was gone to the medication within six years and no longer symptomatic.

Although the scheme was in the beginning to be until Sharon got back on his feet, the set -up turned out so mutually beneficial that, 11 years later, neither of them have a desire to live apart.

“We always say it was easier for me to get out of a marriage that I didn’t want to be because I could withdraw from my best friend and sister,” says Sharon.

“Also, although I am absolutely open to a boyfriend, and I went out, I don’t want to live special again with a man, upset my son and mix a family.”

And – to be honest for both Sharon and Lauretta – it would be a very brave and special man to try to get between the couple.

They admit that certain men have found their close bond intimidating in their lives, for fear that the sisters will pass on every detail of their intimate relationships to each other.

The symbiosis of the sisters is striking while we are sitting at the large dining table in their flawless cuisine, where Lauretta, a trained vegan chef, the family meals cooks and Sharon cleans up the ‘huge amount of mess’ that she makes in the process. They finish each other’s sentences and carefully tease each other in this way only brothers and sisters who do that in long-term marriages.

“You know, statistically, the happiest people are married men and single women, while the most unhappy people are married women, because they ultimately do most of the work,” says Lauretta.

Sharon nods and adds: ‘It would be preferable to be in a happy family unit – mum, dad, children – so we don’t say this is the better alternative, just that it really worked out.

‘My son would like to live full -time with both me and his father, but it is not how things went. I am very proud that we have created a house that is so full of love, for us and our children. ‘

This mutually affordable arrangement seems almost inevitable, given that the sisters were effectively merged with the hip because they were small and shared a bed in the parental home where they were raised, together with two brothers, in North London.

Despite the age of three, they were ‘as close as twins’. Although they got their own beds when Lauretta was eight and Sharon Five, they would still hug most nights together until the entertainment of their parents. “In my Tweens and early teenagers, where I also went with my friends – shopping, swimming, to the tennis courts – Sharon tagging,” Lauretta recalls.

Lauretta went to the dance school at the age of 18. However, when Sharon started to apply for drama schools after a level, “she too” caught the acting bug “and he decided to audition.

Both were given places at Guildford School of Acting when Lauretta was 22 and Sharon 19 and moved together to student accommodation.

The next decade was spent in theater and television – Lauretta had small parts in Huiden, Doc Martin and my family, while Sharon has appeared in the burning, Shaun of the Dead and Motherland in London.

They picked up work on waitresses between acting performances and bought a flat together in Hackney, East London together in the twenty, before they met their partners.

Neither of them had ever thought that they would set up a family house together.

But here they are – and their band has also led them to be ideal business partners: six years ago, when friends started to take a great interest in the healthy lifestyle of the sisters, they started running wellness and retreats, in Suffolk, who sold out three months in advance.

Their living arrangements mean that there are no arguments about who does the part of the lion when it comes to taking care of older parents.

Their father, an entrepreneur who came to London from Ireland in the sixties, and their mother, a retired nurse, are now both in their late 1970s, and the sisters support them.

However, there are times when the Gavins – Petite – size 10s, Sharon would only appreciate 5ft long and Lauretta 5ft 3 – a man to help, for example, help with heavy lifting and flat pack furniture.

The sisters are also aware that finding a man who shows the same interest and understanding that they naturally consider in their lifelong relationship would be an extremely large assignment.

However, they do not exclude their own way in the future, a man can meet or as soon as the children fly the nest, but they are not in a hurry.

“It feels almost a bit embarrassing to be sisters, to live together, in later life,” says Lauretta. ‘That terrible word’ spinster ‘comes up in me – sisters, historically thrown together because they have never met a suitable man.

“In 2025, however, I think that, after we have weighed all the available options, we made an excellent choice.”

Sharon, luckily, couldn’t agree with her sister anymore. “This is our family,” she says. “Me, Lauretta and our two children.”

Sharon and Lauretta present the Podcast The Gavin Sisters Wellness Show.