Woman who ran into boyfriend’s husband on dating app Bumble gets bombed after she says she might NOT share discovery because it’s ‘not her business to tell’
- Mom asked if she should tell her boyfriend that her husband was on a dating app
- On the UK-based forum Mumsnet, she said she wasn’t sure it was her business
- Great majority of comments told her to let her boyfriend know about the husband’s cheating
A woman has sparked a debate after seeing her ‘smug’ boyfriend’s husband on a dating app.
Writing on the UK Parenting Forum mumsnetthe woman explained that she had seen the man on Bumble, four years after attending the couple’s wedding.
She said the woman had seemed “smug” with how well their relationship had gone, meeting him a week after she left a six-year relationship and marrying him after a year.
The poster went on to ask whether she should tell her friend about what she had seen or not.
Stuck in the middle: A British Mumsnet user admitted she was torn about what to do when she saw her boyfriend’s husband on a dating app
She wrote: ‘I saw my friend’s husband on Bumble on Friday night. I took a video screenshot of the full profile – verified and filled in completely.
“I was at their wedding four years ago, she was quite smug about how well their relationship had gone. Engaged after a short time and married after 1 year. They met the week after she ended a 6 year relationship and they literally seemed perfect for each other.
“I tend to steer clear of gossip, but neither she nor anyone else has hinted that their relationship is broken. I have not told anyone I know about the dating profile.
‘AIBU’ [Am I being unreasonable] to leave it and feel it is none of my business?’
The woman explained that she had seen her boyfriend’s husband on Bumble and wasn’t wondering if it was “her business” to take action
Her post divided Mumsnet users, with some saying she should tell the husband about her discovery, including one person who wrote, “Tell him you saw it.”
But another disagreed, writing: ‘I wouldn’t tell him! You give him time to come up with an excuse. Your loyalty is to her, not to him!
And another person wrote: ‘Don’t tell him – he deletes it and then you just have to tell her anyway or she won’t know she’s with a lying bastard. Send it to her anonymously if you can’t tell her, but be sure to tell her. At least give her the option to divorce him. Hopefully they don’t have any children yet.’
Mumsnet users were divided over whether her husband should be the first to be told about the dating app’s discovery
The vast majority of posters told the woman to tell her boyfriend instead of her husband.
One mother wrote: ‘Please tell her otherwise she will be betrayed twice.’
Meanwhile, another person begged, “Tell her. I was told and in some ways it was a relief, albeit terrible.’
Another person explained another situation where she told a friend that their husband was on a dating app and was thanked even though she chose to stay with him.
Majority of people urged the woman to tell her boyfriend and said she deserved to know the truth about her husband’s antics
Several moms on the website then shared their own experiences of discovering cheating by men online.
Someone wrote: ‘I’ve had the reverse of this, where a man I’ve met online and who I’ve been messaging about for almost 2 years, met on several occasions with nine-month-old twins who came across her profile on TikTok . and I did contact her, she never answered, but that’s her prerogative, isn’t it.’
And a second person said, ‘I’ve been through this twice. One where I actually told my girlfriend and the other where a friend told her friend that her husband had laughed at her. Both times, the women chose to stay with the man. I just came up with another one.
“My relative was engaged to someone she met through a dating agency. He didn’t cancel his membership… she only found out after they broke up over something else. They lived together and when they broke up she transferred her mail to her new address and they mistakenly sent his mail to her!’
One last person said, ‘One of my friends was approached by a guy on Facebook Dating. She liked the look of him quite a bit and they lived fairly close by. When she looked at his FB profile, she noticed that I was a mutual friend, so she emailed to say, ‘I was wondering how you knew this man and if you would recommend that I respond to him? I had to explain that I knew him through another friend… who he was married to.”
Others shared stories of similar experiences they’ve had, including one who suggested sharing the information anonymously