Disabled man candidly reveals realities of his love life from asking a friend or carer to position him before encounters with escorts to asking his mother to book him a sex worker for Christmas

A disabled man has revealed he is ‘just like everyone else’ when it comes to sexual urges as he opens up about his sex life.

Rhys Bowler, 34, is the focus of documentary Sex, Me and Disability on Channel 4 – and candidly reveals he has explored threesomes, paid for escorts and even once fell out of bed during the act.

Rhys has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DND) – a condition that causes progressive muscle weakness, meaning he must use a wheelchair and breathing apparatus for the rest of his life.

Still, the disability awareness ambassador appears spirited as he navigates independence, dating and a thriving sex life. 

He added that while regular sex became a ‘coping mechanism’, the £150 – £240 sessions have accrued a pile of debt and it was now time to pursue a more ‘serious relationship’.

The show, which aired on Sunday evening, opened with Rhys getting a tattoo in Cardiff, at which point the artist asked: ‘How do you actually have sex?’

Rhys blunty replied: ‘Well it’s a stupid question. I’m a lazy f***er, I don’t do a lot’.

He then explained that ‘disabled people have sexual urges’ like everyone else and that ‘it’ worked ‘fine’.

‘We’re still the same as everyone’ he continued. ‘We are still people – we all want sex.

‘Every experience I wanted to try, I have done. I’ve tried threesomes, I’ve seen more than one girl. I’ve tried a*al, I’ve tried everything’.

Responding to more questions from the tattooist about the mechanics of it all, Rhys admitted that he’d ‘fallen off the bed a few times’.

‘Yeah I was on the floor like s**t yeah,’ he added.

The revelations grew wilder during a candid conversation with his mother Lynne when she popped round to check up on her son.

The pair discussed the awkward moment Rhys requested an escort as a Christmas gift from his mum – and how she went as far as purchasing condoms for the special night.

She recalled: ‘Remember that first time you had that escort and you nagged me when I asked you what do you want for Christmas?

‘And you said “pay for me to have an escort” – I thought I was going to have a heart attack to be honest with you.

‘You needed to try it I suppose… I had to go buy the condoms. Do you know the things you’ve had me doing? It’s unbelievable!’

But for Rhys, the awkwardness was well worth it, adding that the saucy encounter gave him an ‘adrenaline rush’. 

He said: ‘The first time I saw a sex worker it was very exciting you know. You get an adrenaline rush.

‘In my situation, first someone has to put me in the bed. Sometimes I use friends to do that, sometimes I use the carers’.

For those in a similar situation, he explained that there was nothing ’embarrassing’ about it as long as you were honest about your disability before the worker arrived.

Elsewhere in the documentary, Rhys discusses some of his preferred sexual positions – highlighting what he calls the ‘spatchcock chicken position’ in particular.

However, his exciting sex life comes at a cost to his wallet – and he noted how expensive it can be to pay for escorts, adding he was now looking for a ‘serious’ relationship.

‘If we look at the price of a sex worker these days you’re looking at £150 for their time,’ he said.

‘People without much money can’t do that – but when you are dependent on it, you find a way.

‘I was trying to find a way to feel better by having sex. It was easy to do, it was easy to get access, I didn’t have to tell anyone what was going on.

‘It then becomes a bit of a coping mechanism’. 

He then recounted the terrifying moment he was robbed shortly after an escort arrived at his home. 

He remembered waiting in bed for the woman to arrive after his carer had left, only for her to make off with his money.

The stressful ordeal had him stuck in the same position for three hours before anyone found him.

Reflecting on his previous use of escorts, Rhys said he became reliant on sex work after believing he would never experience intercourse in a loving relationship. 

And in his hopes to find a partner he says he has since turned over a new leaf ‘because I know I’m worth more than that’.

His quest to find love landed him in the arms of the stunning Samantha – and although the reason for her disability is not given, Rhys says they are in the ‘same situation’.

Samantha, from Wales, also gets around via a wheelchair and breathes with the assistance of a tube.

The budding couple were getting to know each other over Facebook before Rhys asked her out on a date.

After the sweet pair met for a date at the seaside, they began flirting back and forth, with Rhys admitting he was ‘nervous’ at finally laying eyes on her, while Samantha jokingly queried why he hadn’t brought her any flowers. 

The date ended on a positive note, with the two hoping to take the relationship further, and one day get ‘married’ and build a ‘future’. 

Elsewhere in the episode, Rhys introduced viewers to his bachelor pad, which he stated was testament to his independence and where he could be his ‘own man’ without a ‘nagging’ mother.

However he conceded that although he could not afford a full time carer, his helper Lisa had become like family and having her around made him feel safe.

Viewers were shown some of the modifications made to his home, including a central computer that enabled several functions such as answering phone calls and multiple straw stations to make it easy for him reach to a drink.

And when his carer Lisa comes over to help, watchers are offered a glimpse into what a regular day looks like for Rhys.

Lisa makes him a cup of tea and changes his clothes, while also being an ear to her client for some light-hearted chit chat.

Rhys explained: ‘This is my usual routine. It’s really difficult for me to change.

‘If I put the effort in, I think it makes all the difference doesn’t it? Doing something simple to change, it’s something everyone takes for granted’.

He added that he needed Lisa around because ‘when I take the breathing machine off I can’t speak… I run out of oxygen’.

At one point, he also divulged that his Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy diagnosis meant that he was expected to die at age 15, however he remains fearless and said death felt like ‘freedom’. 

He refuses to be weighed down by his disability, adding: ‘If you have a disability it doesn’t have to stop you. If you can’t do some things, you find another way to do them’.

Sex, Me And Disability is available to stream on Channel 4.