How to comfort someone when they are in the hospital
My mother recently spent a week in a hospital near my home after experiencing complications from an ongoing illness. Luckily I was able to visit her every day.
I tried to make sure she was taken care of – and even build a little excitement – by doing little things. My mom loves food, so I texted her three menu options for dinner every morning. I put luxury toiletries in her bathroom and sent her podcast recommendations. (Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, “Wiser Than Me,” was “a hoot,” Mom said;)Marry me chicken‘was her favorite dish.)
Being in the hospital can be scary. Even the nicest ones have bright lights, beeping machines, and well-meaning doctors and nurses poking and prodding you. My goal was to make my mother’s stay a little more homely. And research suggests that a more comfortable environment, such as one with… less noise And homely accentscan affect a patient’s sense of well-being.
My experience with my mother inspired me to ask experts for more advice on how to make someone’s hospital visit more enjoyable. They had great ideas, but make sure everything is executed ambitiously by your loved one’s care team.
Give them things that bring comfort.
Ask your loved one for any requests; perhaps a favorite bathrobe or a comforter, said Dr. Ada Offurum, medical director of the University of Maryland Medical Center’s Physician Advisory Group and assistant professor of medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine.
She also suggested a few specific items: a pair of slippers (with steps, because floors can be slippery) and earplugs, or an eye mask, because hospitals can be bright and noisy.
Hospital air is often very dry, so patients may appreciate hand lotion, face cream and lip balm, says Tami Minnier, nurse practitioner and chief quality and operational excellence officer at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
Ask if a pet can come by.
Some hospitals allow quick visits from four-legged friends, so ask about that policy, Minnier said. If pets aren’t allowed, it may be possible to “put your mom or dad in a wheelchair and take them outside right away” to see their companion, she said.
Some hospitals offer free pet therapy, she said, and that’s true shown to relieve anxiety in patients. “They are trained as visitors, have a little ID badge and come to make rounds,” she explained.
Keep visits short (and without surprises).
Run the names of potential visitors against your loved one, because people can feel vulnerable when they are sick, said Dr. Offurum. They may not want their private matters discussed with someone they are not close to, she said.
And keep visits short, Minnier said, unless the patient requests otherwise. She recommended 15-30 minutes. During longer visits, “they may feel like they have to entertain people,” she said.
If the patient is mobile, willing and needs to build up strength, ask permission from a nurse to take him on a short walk through the hallways, Minnier said. “Mobility is one of the most important things to promote human health,” she said, and “is so often forgotten in hospitals.”
Build anticipation.
Finding things a patient can look forward to can lift his or her spirits, says Jennifer Mensik Kennedy, assistant professor at Oregon Health & Science University School of Nursing and president of the American Nurses Association.
If you have family living elsewhere, she said, arrange a series of phone visits. “You can say, ‘Uncle Fred is going to call you at 2 o’clock, and your cousin Mary is going to call you at 3 o’clock,’” Kennedy said.
At the end of a visit to my mother, I gave her a stack of gossip magazines and scratch-off lottery tickets. “Something for later,” I said.
Not much later, I think. I had barely gotten into the elevator when my mom texted me, “I won five dollars!”
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