Influencer swears by three tips to ‘charm everyone you speak to’ – but do they really work?

While confidence comes naturally to some, for others it can be more challenging to stand up for yourself when meeting new people.

Online coach and influencer Hannah Chan, who currently lives in the UK, has revealed the three psychology tips she swears by to ‘charm everyone’ she speaks to.

On TikTok, where she comes by @realhannahchanshe regularly posts videos in which she wants to empower women to ‘take their lifestyle, money and dating life to the next level’.

Her latest clip, titled “If you were born clumsy like me, charisma is a learned skill baby,” was seen by more than 23,000 people.

She explained, “Every time you interact with someone, you are judged, not by what you say, but by how you say it.

“And as someone who has built a seven-figure personal brand, I want to give you some tips on how to project a powerful presence that leaves a good impression.”

Read on to discover her top three pieces of advice for those looking to improve their social skills – and what a trained psychologist thinks of her advice.

Use the ‘chameleon technique’

Hannah’s first tip is to use what’s known as the ‘chameleon technique’: changing your approach based on the person you’re talking to.

She explained, “The first is called the chameleon technique. The most charasmatic people adjust their energy based on who they talk to.

“So when you’re talking to someone who has super high energy and is very animated, they often feel like the other person isn’t as engaged in the conversation if they don’t bounce that energy back.”

“If you want to make that person feel seen and bond with them, you want to increase your energy by 20% to somewhat match their level.”

Research shows that most people practice the chameleon technique unintentionally, mimicking the body language and gestures of their friends.

Psychology consultant and life coach Bayu Prihandito adds: ‘In psychology we call this mirroring, which makes the other person feel seen and understood.

‘However, it is important to realize that in practice this should not lead to a loss of your authentic self. The key is to be empathetic and adaptive, not simply imitative.”

Speak with a downward inflection

The influencer continues: “The second thing is the inflection: the way you talk will tell you.”

Inflection is the tone or pitch of your voice. As your sentences become higher pitched toward the end, they end up sounding like questions.

Hannah adds, “One of the biggest giveaways of lacking confidence is speaking in an upward inflection that sounds like this: Subconsciously you’re signaling and looking for validation—as if you’re trying to ask a question for the other person’s approval person to get’.

“If you do the opposite and end your punishment with a downward innuendo instead of an upward questioning tone, it doesn’t matter if you’re talking to the CEO of a company and are the unpaid intern.

‘It shows the other person that you are confident in your ideas and that you support them.’

Prihandito notes, “The use of a downward inflection to convey confidence and assurance is indeed correct, as it conveys both authority and assertiveness.

‘However, this attitude must be context-sensitive. For example, excessive or inappropriate use of this technique can appear dominant and unapproachable, especially in situations that require empathy and understanding.”

Stop using inferior language

Finally, she urges viewers to stop using “inferior language” and advises against saying things like “if that’s what you want” and “I’m sure I’m not as good as you ‘.

She revealed: ‘You may think you’re just being humble or nice, but it actually comes across as insecure, like you’re uncomfortable with the fact that you could be good at something.

“If you think about all the reasons why you respect someone, it’s actually not because they’re super agreeable or overly modest.

“It’s probably because they have this energy of certainty, where they respect themselves enough to share their opinions when they know other people won’t agree with them.”

Prihandito agrees: ‘The advice to avoid inferior language is in line with building your self-confidence and assertiveness.

‘Phrases that undermine your own ideas or capabilities can indeed create an impression of insecurity. However, showing confidence should not turn into arrogance and should be balanced with humility and openness to the perspectives of others.”

Viewers quickly flooded the comments with praise and further questions, with one user asking: ‘As an introvert it’s so exhausting trying to match that hype energy! Any tips?’

Hannah replied, “I’m an introvert, so I get you! It’s not about being someone you’re not, so increase your own income by 10-20%.”

Another wrote, “I definitely speak with a low tonality. I’m not saying sorry, I’m saying excuse me or can you repeat that? Apparently that strikes fear in people’s hearts.’

Meanwhile, a third wrote: ‘You can do the pleasant/’if that’s okay with you’ in #3, when it seems like you’re higher up but meet the other person in the middle in a friendly way.’

Someone else said: ‘This is amazing! Would love to hear more about inflection!!’, to which Hannah explained: ‘It ends your sentences on a high versus low note. High = when you ask a question!’.