JENNI MURRAY: Men who beat their wives are NOT allowed to see their children

In the early 1970s, when I began my career in journalism, there began to be recognition that domestic violence was a regular occurrence in homes across the country. Two charities were set up, Refuge and Women's Aid, and I was determined to do all I could to support their work.

During the 33 years I presented Women's Hour, I received countless calls from women asking me for help. I was rarely able to do more than direct them to the right charity and offer them emotional support.

There were so many shocking cases of women being beaten, raped, controlled and denied any access to money to buy proper food for their children. The children's stories were painful. They had witnessed the mothers they loved being beaten to a bloody pulp.

I would always advise the women to do everything they can to escape and take the traumatized children with them. It was often impossible because of the threats their partners made.

Sometimes I heard that a woman had managed to escape and was given legal help to go to family court to keep their children and find a way to start life safely, without fear of the man who had ruined their lives.

I was always asked never to report the stories they told me. Everything that took place in a family court had to be kept secret. I obeyed the law, but I will never forget the suffering of women who were forced to obey the strict rules of the family courts, which insisted time and again that children should have access to both their parents.

The most disturbing call I received was from a woman who had managed to go to court to detail the sexual violence and control she had suffered for years.

Her children, ten and twelve, had made it clear that it was their choice to stay with their mother. However, the court was convinced by the father that he had more money, a better house and could take better care of the children. They were taken from their mother's home and moved in with him.

Thanks to years of lobbying, it is now accepted that certain family courts should be opened to accredited journalists who can report on the decisions taken in these courts, as long as the anonymity of the parties involved remains intact.

It's a huge step forward, but not nearly as significant as the step recently taken by Conservative MP Kate Kniveton.

Kate became an MP when she took over the seat of her former husband, Andrew Griffiths, in Staffordshire in 2019. Griffiths resigned as minister in 2018 after sending more than 2,000 text messages, many of a sexual nature, to two female voters.

Kniveton filed for divorce, won the 2019 election and subsequently revealed in family court that she had been a victim of domestic violence, coercive and controlling behavior and rape by Griffiths during her ten-year marriage.

The judge found her allegations true and she waived her right to anonymity in order to campaign to improve matters in court for victims of domestic abuse.

But it was only last week that Kate learned her ex-husband would no longer be allowed to see their child. Griffiths is only allowed to contact the child through four letters a year and an annual birthday and Christmas card.

The news came after years of legal wrangling over Griffiths' access to the child, which cost Kate more than £120,000.

The Children Act 1989 states that it is generally in a child's best interests to have a relationship with both parents, but Kate, like many mothers I have spoken to in the past, is disagrees and says: 'This belief in contact is actually a good thing. The costs put children and mothers at risk and can often have tragic consequences. It must be overthrown.'

Griffiths had made a motion for weekly supervised contact at a hearing in January, which led to unsupervised contact with his child. He had previously seen the child once a week on a 30-minute video call. The judge said Griffiths wanted to 'make amends' and ensure the youngster 'didn't believe he was a monster'.

Kate stood firm to protect her child and has no regrets about giving up her anonymity. If her cause is, as her ex-husband claims, political, that is a clear reflection of personal political character.

Her high-profile role as an MP, her fight for the protection of her child and speaking publicly about her experiences have given hope to many other women. She has had nearly 50 to 60 women contact her and others thank her for speaking out.

About 60 percent of family law cases involving child contact orders involve allegations of domestic violence. Dozens of children have been forced into contact with fathers accused of abuse. Children witness domestic violence. They know the damage their father has done. They are damaged by what they have seen.

We cannot allow another generation of young people to be convinced that such violence is not a problem by fathers eager to show that they are not monsters.

Harry or Camilla? It's no contest

I was so hopeful last week when I heard that Prince Harry had rushed home to visit his father when he heard of the King's cancer diagnosis. The family would get together anyway, I thought.

How wrong I was. He had 35 minutes in front of his father and reportedly refused to be in the same room as Camilla when he spoke to his father.

Stupid boy! It seems he has learned nothing about the power of marriage from his father. Charles and Camilla are a couple. Completely committed to each other.

The king won't let Harry come between them. Harry must know that.

Steve was a master of the radio art

Those of us who have made interviewing people our life's work hate being interviewed. We know too much about the tricks of the trade, but I never said no to Steve Wright.

He always read my book, asked intelligent questions and then laughed. He was of the generation (mine) that dealt with radio as an art and craft. He was far too alive to die. I can't believe he's gone and that radio will suffer from his loss.

I have always thought that Salisbury Cathedral is the most beautiful building in the world. I knew about it long before the repairs started in 1986 and the scaffolding went up. Now the intricate stonework has been completed and she has been restored to her former glory. I can't wait to see the two ferrets immortalized in stone by the head stonemason, Lee Andrews, and also to see the model of a female stonemason carved by Carol Pike to represent herself. We bet there were no women working when construction of the cathedral began in 1220.

I like fruity language too, Olivia

Olivia Colman's new film, Wicked Little Letters, tells a story from the 1920s when two women shocked the town of Littlehampton by writing letters containing swear words. Olivia believes that swearing by women is still considered shocking and shouldn't be.

I agree with that. My language in endless newsrooms was quite fruity. I taught my Ukrainian guest, Zoriana, to swear in English. She postponed the time when she had to write an essay for college.

I told her there was an acronym she needed to know. JFDI Just do it. She says it often now!

I've never been a fan of tea. Coffee has always been my poison, but atrial fibrillation (a heart that is too fast) has put an end to that. Zoriana recommended black tea with lemon. It's calming and refreshing, she said. I've tried it. I Agreed. Believe me, a Yorkshire woman, I am falling in love with tea just as Red Sea shipments are being disrupted. Not having much luck lately.