Maupay's tactic of eliminating rivals isn't working – he's lucky Keane is retired
IN SOME ways Neal Maupay is to be admired.
It's one thing to make fun of celebrating the big, bad James Maddison's goal to lift Tottenham.
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But it's another thing entirely to have a scheming pop in Kyle Walker, a walking wardrobe with enough testosterone to fill five Olympic swimming pools – if his messed up love life is anything to go by.
Yet Brentford's occasional striker and prolific wind-up retailer chooses to add the dark art of sledding to his other job: scoring goals every once in a while.
Apart from the fact that it clearly isn't working – as Brentford lost both games in which the striker tried to beat the opposition with his slick tongue – Maupay is clearly a smart man.
You don't need to be an expert lip reader to decipher Walker's claims that Maupay tried to goad the Manchester City full-back with comments about his children.
The Frenchman is lucky that he was only threatened with “knockout”.
But now that there are so many cameras at every Premier League match, the day of the true football hardman is long gone.
Most of us know what Walker would have loved to do there and then with Brentford's little stirrer. Instead, he was forced to complain to referee Jarred Gillett and take the moral stand.
Walker would have been a shoo-in for PFA Player of the Year had he waited until no one was looking and then delivered some good old-fashioned retaliation to put Maupay back in his box.
We're not talking about broken legs, maybe not even about a bunch of fives. It wouldn't have cost much.
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Perhaps a slightly late and robust tackle landed in a particularly painful spot, giving Brentford's agent provocateur pause for thought.
There are no doubts: there are players from the recent and distant past who would not have thought about the consequences before coming into contact with Maupay.
Arsenal's prickly midfielder Patrick Vieira is said to have found a way to 'resolve' the situation with his compatriot. Roy Keane's answer makes you shudder just thinking about it.
Duncan Ferguson, Graeme Souness, Vinnie Jones, Graham Roberts,
Dave Mackay, Ron Harris – street fighting men who first got physical and then asked questions.
Maupay should count his lucky stars. Kevin Muscat has retired and will not be in the Wolves squad tomorrow ahead of Brentford at Molineux.
Aussie Muscat was once dubbed 'the most hated man in football' after a particularly fierce challenge during a match against Wolves' regional rivals Birmingham. Millwall even thought he was too aggressive.
No one should want reckless violence and there is no need to bring in New York vigilantes, the Guardian Angels.
But there was always some reassurance that annoying characters like Maupay would eventually get their comeuppance.
So far, it has been left to Tottenham rookie Jamie Donley to give back.
The 19-year-old managed to land a big tackle on Maupay during his 60 seconds as a late substitute as Spurs came from behind to beat Brentford 3-2 last week – drawing a cheer from the home fans.
Maupay will continue to use his verbal elbows as long as he can get away with it, even if it is not a hugely successful policy.
Interestingly, Brentford play City again in just eleven days and Walker will be waiting.
Roy is just a realist
Poor old Roy Hodgson is getting the cold shoulder over Crystal Palace's travails.
At Selhurst Park, the blame game definitely takes priority over the pretty game, which begs the question… what exactly do the fans expect?
Hodgson has been criticized for deplorable results, when what he says about the club is in fact exactly right – but punters don't want to hear it.
Since returning to the Premier League in 2013, Palace have never finished higher than tenth or lower than fifteenth. They have never finished with more than 49 points or less than 41 – a spread of just eight points.
One end of Selhurst Park is a supermarket.
Not so much the real deal as a meal deal.
It's a sad fact that for the vast majority of clubs, life in the top flight is about subsistence.
There is probably a genuine complaint about chairman Steve Parish, who has not taken over the club as he promised, but that will require serious investment and time. Sacking Hodgson won't change that.
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It's a complete Lap kick
IF you still need convincing that a European Super League would be treacherous, shark-infested waters, let Barcelona president Joan Laporta reassure you.
As he floated his deadly idea that Europe's biggest teams should split from UEFA and form a breakaway division, Camp Nou's chief executive unwittingly revealed his priorities.
He reportedly said: “We have Barca, Madrid, Inter, Milan, Napoli, Roma, Marseille, Sporting Lisbon, three Dutch clubs. . .”
Three Dutch clubs? These will be Ajax, Feyenoord and PSV Eindhoven, who together have become European champions six times – six more than Roma, Napoli and Sporting Lisbon, whose names he could still remember.
Etc good for Poch
Last Friday, desperate Chelsea coach Mauricio Pochettino lamented that his team lacked a 'specialist set-piece expert'.
He went on to say that he and his team of sharp-eyed coaches had only discussed the issue that day and bumped their heads together, wondering whether they could sign a good free-kick taker this summer.
But where can you find one? If only there was someone who could fire an armor-piercing shot from outside the penalty area over a defensive wall and into the opponent's net?
One world-class 25-yard corker at Aston Villa later and it seems the answer was right under Pochettino's nose in the form of his £106million World Cup winner Enzo Fernandez.
Puch… you should have gone to Specsavers.
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Selfie conscious
There is a lot of talk about celebrating on the football field.
Arsenal captain Martin Odegaard was criticized for taking pictures after last weekend's win over Liverpool.
But if it's not about celebrating, it's about not celebrating – a much bigger concern for anyone who wants to keep football in perspective.
Richarlison's moody stroll through the penalty area after scoring against his former club Everton on Saturday was just one example of deliberate underplay.
Would the Everton fans really care if Richarlison had pumped his fist in joy or Samba danced across the 18-yard box? Selling the Brazilian forward to Spurs after four years and around 100 games was not like losing Dixie Dean or Harry Kane leaving Tottenham.
The reason some players play down goals is not out of respect for their former club, but out of pure self-interest.
In celebrating, they make it clear that their departure was so important that it would be wrong to rub salt in the wounds of a club left in despair by their departure.
I'm not saying this was Richarlison's motivation, but it's getting ridiculous now.
Just before Christmas, West Ham defender Konstantinos Mavropanos scored against former club Arsenal and refused to jump for joy – out of respect for his seven memorable Gunners appearances in four years.
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