I Refused to Send My Parents a Photo of My Newborn Baby – Now They Stop Talking to Me and People Call Me ‘Hateful’

A new mum has revealed she had a falling out with her parents after refusing to send them pictures of her newborn.

Take to Redditthe US woman explained that she and her partner are concerned about their son’s photo being shared with strangers without their consent.

However, her parents “freaked out” and told her it was “torture” waiting for a photo, saying they didn’t understand her reasoning for it.

The new mother insisted that the decision is not “forever” and that she will send photos of her child to the baby’s grandparents in the future, but added that she was disappointed that her mother could not respect her decision.

The post, which has been viewed by thousands of people on Reddit’s AITA forum, was largely sympathized with by readers, who encouraged the mother to “stand her ground” — but some branded her “hateful.”

The mother explained in her post: ‘When we were checked into the hospital, my husband and I obviously told a few people, including my parents.

‘My mother’s first reaction was, “Let us know if you change your mind and want us to come to the hospital!”, even though I said for weeks that I didn’t want anyone in the hospital.

“Then she said she was packing and said, ‘We’re coming, of course! But not to the hospital.’ They assumed they could wait at my house. I said no.

‘After a 21-hour labor and three hours of pushing, my son was born and we let my parents know. They immediately asked for photos.

“I understand that they are excited and already love him, but I felt like they were needy and didn’t respect the fact that I was tired, talking to hospital staff, trying to learn how to breastfeed, etc.”

“Once we moved into a recovery room, my husband and I talked and decided to wait to send pictures to anyone, including his two favorite people (his dad and grandmother), so it’s not like my parents were selected.

‘I can’t even explain why we don’t want to send pictures of our son right now. We both just have a little fear of sending a photo to someone and that photo then spreading like wildfire among people we haven’t consented to having a photo of our son sent to. That’s why we decided to postpone it. Not forever, but for now.

‘We’ve literally already talked about how excited we are to send our first Christmas cards this year! So this is not something forever.

‘My parents have gone crazy. Blew up both our phones, stressed me out so much I burst into tears so my husband called my dad to ask him to stop and my dad had the balls to hang up on my husband and then my dad told me that he and his husband does not need to speak or see each other again.

‘When I was discharged and sent home, I sent my parents three texts saying we were home and asking them to FaceTime so they could see my son via video as we weren’t taking pictures. They ignored me.

She continued, “Yesterday we finally FaceTimed and my mom told me she had been sobbing all day and it was ‘torture’ waiting for a photo.

‘I told her that she made my birth all about her and that no one asked me and my husband what we wanted. It was all about what they wanted. They said they didn’t understand the photo thing. Everyone else in the world is sending pictures of new babies.

“I said, ‘I don’t care about the world and I completely understand that sending a photo seems like no big deal and that our decision seems irrational, but you don’t have to understand it. You just have to respect it.’ Well, that didn’t go well.

‘Tell me the truth, am I being dramatic? My mom said I probably cried in the recovery room not because they were stressing me out, but because I was just hormonal and tired.

“Be honest: do my husband and I draw a hard line over something absurd?”

People rushed to the comments with their own thoughts, with many praising the new mother for holding her own.

One person wrote: ‘You should have told them that they were stressing out a new mother and that they should be disgusted with themselves for doing that to their daughter.

“Girl, you gotta give it back to them. Go fast. They have no right to treat you like this. I would do the same if I were in your shoes. You are the mother, what you say goes. They suck it up and run with it.”

Another said: ‘Stick to your guns. Show them this if necessary. It’s sad that they put so much pressure on young mothers. How does that help you in any way. You have your husband and he is your rock, remember that.”

Someone else said: ‘It’s because they want to show their grandson to their friends. The EXACT reason she didn’t want to send a photo: to prevent unauthorized distribution. They just repeat why you were concerned in the first place.”

A fourth agreed, saying: ‘Stand your ground. It is NOT strange that you don’t want to send photos. Sorry, these days photos are spreading like forest fires. Your parents are unreasonable. Congratulations. Enjoy your baby. They can enjoy the Christmas card.’

However, others thought the new mother was wrong for not sharing a photo of her newborn with her parents.

One person wrote: ‘I find it strange that you can’t send a photo to your parents and ask them not to share it, and I find it strange that you don’t want your parents to see your baby… but if that’s the relationship you if you wish, so be it.’

Another said: ‘Reddit is so weird when it comes to privacy. Lots of introverts from broken homes, I guess?

‘I’ve had three children. You better believe I sent pictures from the hospital after we caught our breath. It was a bit of work, but you suck it up because building a community for your child is important.

“If her response is to immediately shield her child from the world, including her immediate family and support system, it does not bode well for the future.

“I agree that mom needs to be more respectful of her boundaries, but right now she’s just being hateful.”

Someone else agreed, saying, “I understand the need for privacy as I was also a ‘please don’t come to the hospital’ new mom, but depriving the world of photos is such a strange hill to die on.

“Children need community and the community you choose needs to know what is important in your child’s life.

“When you’re a first-time mother, there are so many things to worry about and countless things that increase anxiety. You have to learn to visualize your battles and causing chaos in the distribution of a newborn photo is unnecessary stress and completely avoidable.”

While another agreed: ‘Having a baby is a huge event for a new mother, but it’s also a huge event for the whole family.

‘Her parents respected every boundary she set by not going to the hospital and not waiting for her at home.

“They wanted a photo of the newest member of their family and OP decided to withhold it, for a reason that is completely unreasonable (they didn’t want it shared with other people???).

‘Starting off into parenthood by being overly controlling and shutting out the community you come to rely on is a pretty terrible way to start your journey. It’s certainly not an absurd time frame to feel pushed out of a major life event in your own family.”