My mother-in-law buys toys for children that we will never get – my husband will not confront her

A woman has lashed out at her nightmarish mother-in-law for buying toys for her future grandchildren, even though she has no plans to have children.

Earlier this week, the anonymous woman, believed to be from the UK, explained on Reddit’s ‘Just No MIL’ forum that she and her partner have been married less than a year.

Describing how she is “constantly in their business,” the woman explained, “I’m a very patient person and try my hardest not to hurt her feelings or make her feel left out.

“However, she treats me horribly, is an abusive narcissist who is always throwing tantrums or crying to get her way, and just generally awful.”

Despite being newly married, the woman says she is increasingly being pressured by her mother-in-law to start a family.

The woman continued, “She really started to push for us to give her her first grandchild.

“She talks to my husband about it all the time and makes comments to him.”

Fortunately for the woman, she was spared his mother’s worst remarks, as she usually directs them at her son.

However, the woman says that the weight of her mother-in-law’s expectation is really starting to affect her, especially since women in her family have had complicated experiences with pregnancy and childbirth.

She wrote, “I have a family history of terrible pregnancy complications, so my husband and I didn’t really plan on having kids.

“It’s not something we actively wanted and the health issues are terrifying. Yet, [my mother-in-law] keep pushing.”

Last week, the woman’s husband traveled a few hours to visit his mother at her home, only to find that she had started buying things for her future grandchildren.

She said, “My husband told me that my MIL has started buying books and toys for these kids that she wants us to have…She’s stocking them up.

While the woman is doing her best to “avoid contact with her mother-in-law,” she hoped her husband would inform her of their current decision not to start a family.

She explained: ‘[He is] too afraid to tell her because he knows it will be an emotional battle.

“I just don’t know if I should step in and explain the situation so she stops or if it will just make our relationship worse.”

In addition, the woman said her husband now refuses to confront his mother, as she previously relied on “manipulation tactics” to get her way.

She ended the post by saying, “She doesn’t have a lot of money either, so I hate to see her spending money that she could use for her health or her home for hypothetical kids.”

The post sparked lively discussion among forum members – some thought she should confront her husband about his mother’s behavior.

One argued, “You don’t have a mother-in-law problem; you have a husband problem. It’s time for some boundaries. Set exactly how many times you need to see your MIL per year before your man approves.

The wife’s dilemma sparked lively discussion among Reddit users, but the majority agreed that it was her husband’s job to inform his mother of their decision not to have children

‘2? 3? Make these meetings in public areas and ride separately from your husband. The moment she’s rude, ignores you, or goes too far, say, “It was lovely, but I have to leave,” and walk out.

Another added: “Totally outside your circle of control. Do yourself an Elsa favor and let it gooooooooo

‘But seriously. Tell spouse you don’t need to know this information. What he wants to talk to Mom about is his problem. You don’t have to be in a relationship with her. And you don’t have to hear about the visit at all.’

“Her assumptions and expectations are not your responsibility,” said a third. “It’s in him to say, ‘Mom, stop wasting your money. We’re not having kids.'”

A fourth then said: ‘You shouldn’t explain your reason for not having children to her. That would certainly reinforce her mistaken belief that it is somehow her business whether and why you choose to have children or not.’

“Children are not just toys, and your MIL needs to realize that,” said a fifth. “We’re talking about a lifetime here. You should only have children if you really want them. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but it’s not for everyone and it changes your way of life in ways that some may find unacceptable.’