KENNEDY: Will Alec Baldwin’s fake-Spanish baby-factory Hilaria drag their seven bambinos to meet him in JAIL to film this revolting new reality show?

Emetic Alec Baldwin and his fake Spaniard bambino factory Hilaria are selling off their family of nine in a last greedy grab for cash with a new reality show, ‘The Baldwins’.

You know who won’t have their own family reality show? Halyna Hutchins, the cinematographer and young mother who accidentally shot Baldwin on the set of ‘Rust’ in 2021.

Alec prepares to stand trial in a few weeks as he faces charges in New Mexico for Hutchins’ involuntary manslaughter.

TLC — home to wholesome cultural touchstones like “90 Day Fiancé” and “MILF Manor” — is footing the bill for this most disgustingly narcissistic show, due out next year.

Which makes me wonder: how shall Will filming continue if Alec gets in trouble (‘Rust’ gunsmith Hannah Gutierrez-Reed was sentenced to 18 months behind bars in April on the same charge)?

Emeticist Alec Baldwin and his fake Spaniard baby factory Hilaria are selling off their family of nine in a last greedy grab for cash with a new reality show, “The Baldwins.”

Imagine the hijinks.

Alec silently sobs at the news of yet another positive pregnancy test.

Wife Hillary – a simple white girl from Boston who spent a few summers in Spain and now sounds like Javier Bardem – holds her Latinx brood together as they run roughshod through the Santa Fe prison.

A TLC press release promised – threatened? – that the Baldwins will “open up their lives for the first time and include everyone in the non-stop love, laughter and drama.”

Because there’s nothing funnier than the drama of a family torn apart – Hutchins’ then 9-year-old son was left mentally speechless two days when he heard of his mother’s death.

And what about the non-stop love Alec demonstrated in that smug conversation with ABC News reputation launderer George Stephanopoulos where he seemingly implicated Hutchins in her own death?

“Everything is in her direction,” Baldwin moaned in December 2021. “I’m holding the gun where she told me to hold it, and it ended up right under her armpit.”

You know who won’t have their own family reality show? Halyna Hutchins, the cameraman who accidentally shot Baldwin on the set of ‘Rust’ in 2021.

Alec prepares to stand trial in a few weeks as he faces charges in New Mexico for Hutchins’ involuntary manslaughter.

In another vomiting show promo this week, Alec “It Wossont Me” Baldwin personally teased: “We invite you to our home to experience the ups and downs, the good and the bad, the wild and the crazy.”

Such wild and crazy ups and downs include:

• Hilaria and Alec shout at photographers on the side of the highway, before parading towards the photographers in oh-so-posed pap walks while donning panty-hugging fishnets… mid-January New York City!

• And the fluffy family man Alec who called his then eleven-year-old daughter Ireland, from his previous marriage, a ‘thoughtless pig’ in a voicemail from 2007.

Tight wallets and plummeting social capital really do make the ugliest among us even uglier.

New H&M humiliation

As if losing Posh and Becks’ friendship wasn’t humiliating enough, the Sussex fools have ripped a football-shaped hole in their Netflix raft – with viewing figures sinking like a stone.

Newly released data from the streamer showed Queen Victoria (and company Dave) triumphant, with 43.9 million views in the second half of last year for their hit docuseries.

By comparison, H&M’s whimper crept over the goal line with just 12.6 million.

Turns out golden balls shine brighter than ginger.

Auf Wiedersehen, bra!

German model and bratwurst tease Heidi Klum celebrated her 51st birthday by sunning her luft balloons in a completely nude Insta selfie.

It’s clear that this lady hasn’t grown out of her insatiable hunger for attention.

German model and bratwurst tease Heidi Klum celebrated her 51st birthday by sunning her luft balloons in a completely nude Insta selfie.

Hunter’s leading ladies

As Hunter Biden’s weapons trial begins in Delaware, Dr. Jill dons her best pantsuits for personal shows of stepmotherly support.

Also in tow are half-sister Ashley – of ‘showers w/ my dad’ infamy – and wife Melissa Cohen.

Pale blonde and clearly poorly built, Mad Melissa – a fresh-faced 38 to Hunter’s 54 – has found herself in the throes of affairs, calling a Trump aide outside the courthouse a “Nazi piece of shit.”

Maybe she’ll calm down a bit when she realizes she may have to re-enter the men’s market soon if Hunter ends up in the hoosegow.

Parade of ignorance

It was a rainbow run as “Queers4Palestine” protesters tried to disrupt a Philly Pride parade, wearing a curious collection of keffiyehs and bare-bottomed bondage gear.

One poster read ‘No Pride In Genocide’ – but does anyone have the heart to tell these unworldly idiots that homophobic Islamists would happily commit genocide against every letter in the LGBTQIA alphabet?

Babygaga?

Lady Gaga looked full of life at her sister Natali’s wedding this weekend, with a big smile and a noticeable bump that set tongues wagging: could a new star be born this way in the coming months?

But fans who were hoping to worry about a little monster in the mommy oven were left disappointed when she squashed the rumors in a statement on Tuesday.

A reminder that there are a number of reasons why a sparkler won’t stay sticky. And as we know very well, it is never polite to ask a lady.

Lady Gaga looked full of life at her sister Natali’s wedding this weekend, with a big smile and a noticeable bump that set tongues wagging: could a new star be born this way in the coming months?

Crybaby Caitlin

WNBA flop artist Caitlin Clark must be having a terrible time dribbling while balancing that halo.

Our Iowa Martyr is the talk of the town after the Chicago Sky’s Chennedy Carter checked her into the mezzanine during Saturday’s WNBA game.

“That’s just not a basketball game,” Saint Caitlin preached afterward. “But you know what, I have to play through it.”

Someone, give this girl a crown of thorns!

If Clark didn’t dive like Michael Phelps every time someone coughed in her direction, I’d have a little more sympathy.

And that $28 million Nike sponsorship deal doesn’t exactly scream “victim” either.

Clown show at the conference

Tennessee Rep. John Rose must have missed the memo that Congress isn’t a daycare center because his 6-year-old boy Guy pranked him Monday and made faces off the benches for the cameras.

Rose’s wife Chelsea — whom he met when he was 42, a 17-year-old high school student, and married four years later when she was of legal age — could have picked up her son, but she may not have her. license not yet.

Tennessee Rep. John Rose must have missed the memo that Congress isn’t a daycare center because his 6-year-old boy Guy pranked him Monday and made faces off the benches for the cameras.

Grim justice

Sicko-Canadian serial killer Robert Pickton choked the lives out of possibly dozens of prostitutes and indigenous women for years in the late 1990s and early 2000s.

In an extra grim twist, Pickton – a farmer by trade – then fed the corpses of his victims to his pigs.

When he was finally caught, the government had to issue an advisory to those who may have eaten his pork products.

Pickton was beaten to death in the pokey last week. Enjoy the hell, eh?