If Sulking Ben Affleck is boozin’ again, who can blame him! Marriage to Bronx ball-breaker Jennifer Lopez would drive me to drink – and, says KENNEDY, her addiction is far worse…

Word is coming out of the Bronx that former wino Ben Affleck may be drinking again as his storybook romance with Jenny from the Block reaches its dark final chapter.

But it went so well!!

Remember when Jennifer of Arc told grumpy Boston Ben to “Look nicer.” Look motivated,” as he angrily watched the Grammys last year.

There’s nothing like a public tongue wagging to get those love engines going.

Sadly, Daily Mail’s Alison Boshoff reports that a divorce is “imminent,” leaving friends concerned. Bloated Ben could ‘drink again’.

If it’s true, can you blame the poor schlub?

The truth is, if I were married to such an attention-starved diva, I would drink the bottle to the last drop too.

Sadly, Daily Mail’s Alison Boshoff reports that a divorce is “imminent,” leaving friends concerned. Bloated Ben could ‘drink again’.

Remember when Jennifer of Arc told grumpy Boston Ben to “Look nicer.” Look motivated,” as he sat angrily at the Grammys last year.

J.Lo’s apparent panic over fading fame recently led her to misguidedly release an album ‘This is Me… Now’ (whatever), a musical film ‘This is Me… Now: A Love Story’ (hated it) and the cherry on top of this TMI sundae, a public colonoscopy – I mean documentary – nauseatingly titled “The Greatest Love Story Never Told.”

In one scene of the hagiography, Affleck is surprised to learn that his wife shared all their private correspondence… with her friends!

Is it any shock that Ben, with his guts ripped apart, his life reluctantly drawn and quartered for clicks and ticket sales – (How’s that stadium tour going, Jen? Too soon?) – is in crisis?

All this mediocre Masshole ever wanted was to watch his Red Sox and eat his Jack in the Box in peace. But no… Commander Lopez wanted motivation!

In fact, her obsession with hard work, exercise, her appearance and his is so great that Lopez reportedly “made Ben wear foundation again,” his manhood be damned.

Making matters worse, Lopez’s mother-matchmaker Guadalupe Rodriguez — who reportedly pushed her daughter to get back with the one who got away — has reportedly “turned on” Affleck.

Ball breaking should run in the family.

So, what’s next for JLo? She always has a plan.

Maybe she’ll like a few IG posts about past loves. Or consult her B-list phone book.

Some friends are even wildly predicting that she will soon return to former fiancée Alex Rodriguez, who reportedly cheated on her in 2021.

For a supposedly smart woman (“She’s a very smart cookie,” a friend told the Mail) that seems an incredibly stupid move.

Her friends even predict that she will soon return to former fiancé Alex Rodriguez, who allegedly cheated on her in 2021.

“I don’t think the cheating is a deal breaker for her anymore. In any case, I don’t think she will announce the split until she has someone else lined up,” said an insider.

Ben once said about his drinking habit: ‘You do more of it to make that discomfort go away. Then the real pain begins. It becomes a vicious circle that you cannot break.’

I hope he gets the help he needs now.

As for JLo’s addiction, there is no 12-step program for that.

Fame is a great drug.

Will Joe screw up?

President Shuffles brought his wayward son along for some fun on the tarmac Tuesday after a jury in Delaware found The Great Hooker Hunter guilty of three gun crimes.

Joe is no doubt devastated that this spawn will soon be sharing a cell with his 2024 opponent. (Visiting day is going to be tough!)

But he must really be terrified that the Biden Crime Family’s decades of scams are about to be exposed. Hunter’s second trial, for failing to pay $1.4 million in taxes on profits reaped by foreign creeps, is set to begin in September.

That is two months before the elections. Joe better keep this wild child on a leash.

President Shuffles let his wayward son take a sniff on the tarmac in Wilmington after a jury in Delaware found The Great Hooker Hunter guilty of three gun crimes.

Speaking of criminals…

Donald Trump certainly does not take voting for granted.

‘I think [Taylor Swift is] beautiful – very beautiful,” Number 45 mused hungrily to an interviewer, according to a new book.

Who knows? This anti-hero has as many beliefs as TayTay has for years on Earth, so that’s a start.

But the future Mrs. Kelce endorsed Joey Biden in 2020.

“She’s a liberal or is that just an act?” Trump reportedly asked this.

It’s better this way, Don. She’ll just break your heart and then write about it.

Big girls don’t cry

Supersized pepperpot Ashley Graham boohoohoo in a new interview about the struggles of growing up hot and fat.

As a child, she said, she saw a skinny blonde bombshell at Target and thought to herself, “That’s what I want to be!”

If only little Ashley knew that the starving woman was thinking, “I want to eat some ribs!”

Honestly, what is Golden Grahams whining about? She’s a millionaire cover girl with a BMI higher than the IQ of most fans.

Super-sized pepperpot Ashley Graham is boohooing in a new interview about the struggles of growing up hot and fat.

Cannonballs!

Reproductive convert Nick Cannon may already have twelve children (from six different mothers), but this prolific baby thrower isn’t ready to hang up his cleats just yet.

He has insured his ballbag for $10 million to ensure “his family tree keeps rolling!”

Nick, that’s not a tree. You have sown a jungle.

I’ll be there for you (a little bit)…

Jennifer Aniston choked up when asked to reflect on the upcoming 30th anniversary of Friends.

‘What’s it like to watch? [the show] now?’ asked an interviewer from Variety magazine, referring to the recent overdose death of Jen’s co-star Matthew Perry.

Aniston threw her head back and dabbed at her feline eyes, doing her best Meryl Streep. “They are tears of happiness,” she sobbed.

It makes you wonder: If the cast of Friends had acted with such pressing human emotions while Perry was still alive, we might have gotten a happier ending.

Jennifer Aniston choked up when asked to reflect on the upcoming 30th anniversary of Friends.

Red scare

A rowdy Reds fan got the old Cincinnati surprise when he sprinted onto the field Tuesday night, eluded police like a ghostly Usain Bolt and then flawlessly performed a backflip like another great Olympian, Simone Biles.

The stunt received loud applause from the bored Cincy crowd, who watched their team lose.

But when a bad-tempered cop unleashed a taser on the intruder, leaving him in a heap on the field, the acrobatic sprinter in the Johnny Bench jersey got an even bigger roar for not securing the landing.

A rowdy Reds fan got the old “Cincinnati surprise” when he sprinted onto the field Tuesday night.

Clooney’s Crank Call

Crazy George Clooney was reportedly on the phone with a senior White House aide after Commander Slurs-a-lot insulted his wife.

Following Amal Clooney’s announcement that she helped International Criminal Court prosecutors apply for an arrest warrant for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Biden called the move “outrageous” and proposed sanctions to the ICC.

Imagine the cocktail conversation when Clooney hosts a glitzy, celebrity-filled LA fundraiser for Joe later this month.

Joe: ‘I loved you in the ER’

George: ‘Free Palestine!’