Christine McGuinness says there are 'days she wants to disappear' and tries to make sense of her latest autism 'spiral' after revealing the real reason she still lives with Paddy

Christine McGuinness has admitted there are 'days when she wants to disappear' as she tried to make sense of her latest 'spiral'.

The model, 35, sparked concerns among fans after she opened up about the tough times she faces as a person with autism.

Posting a black and white photo on Instagram, she explained the stages of an 'autism meltdown' to her 726,000 followers, using photos of spirals.

Christine, who split from her estranged husband, Paddy McGuinness, in 2022, said: “Maybe delete later,” a kind of message (scared emoji).

“Because my autistic self likes to present perfection, this goes against what I like to share, but it is part (a small part thankfully my 'moments' are few and far between) that I am an authentic autistic me,” she continued with exhale emoji.

'The music in my car helps block out the noise in my head. Music is medicine for me,” she continued.

'And understanding the spiral really helps, I hope the visual representation helps others too.

'(Each person is different and may feel differently, for me this is very accurate) be kind to yourself, remember it will pass, it will always pass.

'PS, I'm fine, I don't want to worry anyone. And my feeling of 'I don't want to live anymore' is more often 'I just want to disappear for a while.'

Christine ended her caption on a more positive note, teasing that she will be sharing “exciting news.”

But her heartfelt and candid post led to her fans flooding her comments box with their support.

One wrote: 'Recognisable. Part of our actual lived experience and that's okay. We are enough. What a brilliant role model of self-care you provide to your wonderful children.”

'Big hugs.'

'I hope all is well with you. Seek help and support if you need it. X'

'Remain your beautiful authentic self. X'

'Well done for sharing your thoughts in this post and I hope you feel better soon, Christine.'

It comes after she revealed the real reason why she is still living with her estranged husband Paddy two years after their divorce.

Christine revealed that she agreed to the unconventional living arrangement because they “don't want their children to be affected” by their divorce.

The couple are parents to 10-year-old twins Leo and Penelope, and Felicity, seven, who all have autism, Christine said The Sun's fantastic magazine that their children 'always come first'.

She said they remain at the center of every decision since the breakup of their 11-year marriage in the summer of 2022.

Christine revealed that Paddy's busy schedule means he is away from home a lot and said she wants to keep life as normal as possible for their children.

She said: 'Just like when I was his wife, I'm there to support the kids when he goes to work – that's how it is.

“When he comes back, I'll try to put some of my work into it. It has no consequences for the children, because they are not moving anywhere.'

She explained that the fact that the children are in the same bed and in the same house means that nothing will change for them.

When asked if she was considering dating again after the split, Christine admitted she “still doesn't really feel single” as she and Paddy still live together.

She added that she currently “doesn't feel like anything is missing in her life,” and that there's nothing about dating that “excites her.”

Christine previously formed a close friendship with footballer Chelcee Grimes, with the pair even pictured kissing in December 2022. The pair have since unfollowed each other on social media.

The star shared her Valentine's Day plans and said she will work all day before returning home to her children.

She added, “I don't want to go into anything that I don't have my whole heart in, so I'm more than happy to put love on the back burner.