Clearing the dead weight from your home could save your marriage (and I DON’T mean your husband!): STACEY SOLOMON’s golden rules of decluttering

I know from personal experience the absolute joy that can come from sorting your life out.

If I’m trying to get ready for work and the kids off to school while stuff is everywhere and the house is in chaos, I feel stressed and trapped. When my house is organised, however, I feel calmer, and more in control.

Living in a busy household with five kids and two dogs, and with both me and my husband, TV presenter Joe Swash, working full time, we need to keep on top of things as much as possible.

We do this by decluttering regularly, by having systems for organising every room in the house and by sharing a cleaning schedule that we try to get the kids on board with so that everyone in the family is involved.

Or at least, that’s the plan!

Like us, the reality for most families is that both partners are going out to work every day, and the last thing you want to do in your spare time is sort the mess.

As a result, the average home contains thousands of items that aren’t really needed, and living among all this clutter can make you miserable and put a terrible strain on your relationships.

When helping families to declutter their homes and revamp their lives on my BBC series Sort Your Life Out, which sees us completely empty the family home so they can see how much stuff they really have, all too often I’m told how the levels of disorganisation are a constant source of unhappiness and arguments.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. For me, organising and cleaning is better than any type of yoga or meditation for lowering stress levels — and seeing them realise that, too, is the best therapy of all.

One family we helped, Londoners Tash and Lawrence Cherrett-Yaku and their four children, had amassed an astonishing 1,567 books, nearly 3,000 toys, 23 pairs of swimming goggles, 11 old mobile phones, 225 DVDs and more than 60 obsolete chargers. After a huge and emotional clear-out, Tash described the experience as ‘a game-changer’.

Because whether you’re tackling your entire home, a ‘room of doom’ that’s become a dumping ground or a single junk drawer, the point of decluttering is to free up space — but also to unburden yourself from the weight of too much stuff.

Organising your home will give you back not just physical space but also time, energy and freedom. 

And it’s amazing how much satisfaction can be had from something as simple as washing away a bit of grime, making your bed, restocking the fridge or neatly organising your sock drawer.

Decluttering has a host of other benefits, too: finally being able to invite friends round because you no longer feel embarrassed by the mess; carving out a dedicated space where you can indulge in your hobbies; or having fewer arguments with your partner over who lost the remote. It’s also likely to put a little money back in your pocket.

When you can see what you have — whether it’s pairs of pants or packets of pasta — it means you won’t overbuy in future. But the Sort Your Life Out process goes beyond putting labels on shelves, jars and boxes (although that’s pretty essential).

It’s about giving every room a clear purpose, making sure every item has a designated place and establishing systems within the home so that everything functions as it should.

So, visualise how you would like your home to look and put our three-step Strip, Sort and Systemise plan into action. It’s time to make your dream home a reality — and stop feeling suffocated by your own stuff.

Here, me, Dilly Carter, Robert Bent and Iwan Carrington share our top tips on how you can sort your life out…

STEP ONE: STRIP

On the show, we strip people’s homes right back to the bare bones and transport all the items — from the biggest super-king bed to the smallest toothbrush — to a 10,000 square metre warehouse for sorting.

Obviously, you can’t do this at home. So rather than attempting to empty out all your possessions, it’s fine to start small and keep things manageable.

You could start with a single drawer, a kitchen cupboard or wardrobe, or you might plunge in and tackle one whole room.

Whichever space you choose, keep in mind that once every item is laid out across the floor, it’ll take up a surprising amount of space. 

As you pull items out, try to put them into categories (don’t worry; you’ll do more sorting in stage two) whether it be clothes, toiletries or electronics.

Lay everything out in the largest clear space that you have – this could be over your bed, across a kitchen island, on the living room floor or (on a dry day) even out in the garden. 

Next, take the opportunity to give the empty room or space a thorough deep clean, including walls, windows, floors, units, shelves, inside cupboards and all surfaces.

Don’t forget light fittings, blinds, radiators, skirting boards, door handles and light switches. These are the most-touched items in any room, so are prone to getting dirty and oily.

STEP TWO: SORT

Now it’s time to sort your stuff. The aim is to choose to keep only what you really need or absolutely love —and get rid of the rest.

Start by laying down a dust sheet to give you a clean surface to work on. On the show, we mark the floor with yellow lines to clearly show where one category ends and another starts. If it’s helpful to do the same, mark out areas with strips of masking tape.

Next, you need to decide what to do with each item in each category, based on four options: keep, sell, donate or recycle. It’s sensible to leave all the ‘keep’ items in situ on the floor. 

With everything laid out, you can clearly see what you’re holding on to and you might revisit some of your decisions later.

Have a cardboard box each for ‘sell’, ‘donate’ and ‘recycle’, and put things straight in the box once you’ve decided it belongs there. 

If you’re the kind of person who is likely to backtrack and pull things out of piles, then this out-of-sight, out-of-mind approach may be best.

Ease yourself in by starting with a category that ordinarily doesn’t have a lot of sentimental meaning attached, such as odd socks or nail varnishes.

If you feel you’re going to struggle emotionally when it comes to items such as photographs, souvenirs and even kids’ toys, leave those categories until last. By that point, you’ll be in the letting-go groove.

By now you’ll have already cleared and cleaned your space, so you’ll have an accurate idea of what proportion of your stuff you can comfortably store, be it 50 per cent or 30 per cent.

Let’s say that you’ve gathered up all your cookbooks, dusted the bookshelf and have calculated that the shelf can hold 25 books: that’s your target. If you’ve got 50 cookbooks, then you’ll need to lose 25. Never keep more than you can store.

Maintain focus on that goal. Think of it as choosing your top favourites in that category. Set a number, stick to it and opt to keep only those items that add value to your life.

This is when you need to get a little ruthless and start to pare back your possessions. Continually ask yourself: Do I need it? Do I use it? Do I love it?

Never have a ‘maybe’ pile. If the answer to any of these questions is no, you know what to do.

TOP TIPS FOR SORTING: 

1. Create capsule wardrobes in both your and your children’s bedrooms, get rid of multiples or duplicates and check the use-by dates of toiletries, cleaning products and perishables.

2. Let your child decide which toys they love the most, play with and want to keep. You may be surprised at their choices.

3. When it comes to sentimental items, remember it’s better to have a few cherished items on display so you can enjoy them than a trunk full of possessions that never see the light of day.

4. If you’re struggling, take the ‘ex test’. Imagine you’ve had a messy break-up and never want to speak to your ex-partner ever again, but this particular possession is still at their home. Ask yourself this: would you go through the agony of calling them to get it back? If you wouldn’t, then it goes.

STEP THREE: SYSTEMISE

This part of the process is the most important — and the most fun. But it’s not simply a case of putting your whittled-down possessions back into your home where you stripped them from.

Without introducing proper systems, it’s likely old habits will creep back in — along with a load more clutter. Before you know it, you’ll be back where you started. So start by ‘zoning’ your home. 

Even when a room has to be multi-purpose because of limited space, creating a designated zone for relaxing, eating or playing will keep each area distinct.

You can create separation by using a partition, room divider or other piece of furniture, such as bookshelves, or use colour to subtly mark the shift between one zone and the next.

Next, give each item a designated place in its zone. This way, it’s more likely to be returned there, not just by you but by every other household member.

And next time you need it, you’ll know exactly where it is. Room by room, here’s how to systemise your home:

MASTER BEDROOM 

Consider an ottoman bed that can store items you don’t use every day, and invest in extra hanging rails, drawer dividers, baskets and boxes.

You can make your own multi-tiered hangers using ring pulls from drinks cans. Slide one end over one hanger and then slot the hook of a second hanger into the other hole of the ring pull, so you can double-hang garments in your wardrobe. 

When hanging clothes, arrange them from heavier outerwear down to lighter garments. Always organise by type, not colour; it might look nice but it’s not practical.

Sort clothes in drawers so the items you wear most frequently are at the front. And fold your smalls so they take up less space.

KIDS’ BEDROOMS 

Group clothes as you would in your own bedroom. Labelling is a great idea as it encourages children to dress themselves and put their own clothes away. If yours are very young, try using picture labels. 

Ask your child to choose the toys they most love to hug and gather them in a handy ‘cuddle basket’. Another way of saving space is to fill a bean bag with soft toys, so it doubles as storage.

KITCHEN 

Have you heard of the kitchen work triangle? It’s the design principle that gives you the most efficient workflow by arranging the hob, fridge and sink in a triangle. So if moving your fridge would improve the layout, do it!

As the kitchen has to house a lot of stuff, finding nifty ways of fitting more into the space is key. 

Consider every available area from floor to ceiling and stock up on storage aids, including multi-tier plate racks, over-the-door pan lid racks and a Lazy Susan turntable.

Organise your fridge using dishwasher-safe drawer dividers and labelled storage containers, keep all the same food types together and arrange perishable items in date order, oldest at the front.

LIVING ROOM 

Play around with the layout of the furniture, focusing on what your primary needs are for the space. 

Display your most cherished items. These might be photographs of loved ones, children’s artworks or souvenirs from foreign travels. Consider bespoke shelving to properly display your favourite possessions.

If you don’t have a separate playroom, use a foam mat or rug to make a designated ‘play’ zone.

• Adapted from Sort Your Life Out by The BBC Sort Your Life Out Team (Ebury, £16.99). © The BBC Sort Your Life Out Team 2024. To order a copy for £15.29 (offer valid to 11/01/2024; UK P&P free on orders over £25) go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.