David Lawrence knows he will die. He doesn’t know when, but he knows it will be soon.
Last year, when Lawrence received a crush diagnosis of incurable motor neuron diseaseHis life had changed heartbreakingly. And shortened.
Former England Fast Bowler Lawrence – known in Cricket as ‘Syd’ – confronts his illness with remarkable positivity and stoicism.
He even says he is lucky in some ways because of the support of his wife Gaynor and Son Buster.
Nevertheless, the impact has transformed its existence.
Lawrence, 61, has been one of them cricketThe great characters-a heart-on-the-sleeve Speedster and an extrovert with a flourishing voice.
Now he has written a book in which he remembers how a broken kneecap ended his career in England, as the last bowler who relieves his hero Viv Richards in Test Cricket and his subsequent career as a nightclub -owner and bodybuilder.
But above all it is about his mnd. It is sometimes emotional, inspiring and difficult to read.
Lawrence writes: “My physical deterioration in a few months has been a painful experience. I have become weaker and weaker and can do less and less.
“First of all, it was the removal of the ability to move myself from one place to another, then it was things such as washing and using the toilet.
“The possibility to hold a knife and fork and bring food and drinks to my mouth and started wiggling until it became impossible.
“Holding the TV remote control was still a small thing that gave me some independence and now that has disappeared.
“I needed help to get extra oxygen in my lungs at night, so I had a machine to help me with that. I now also need that help during the day.
“I knew this is what I had to look forward to, but the reality is much more painful than I thought.
“My voice has now become so weak now that it is anything but disappeared. I have to use the automated voice bank that I programed a few months ago when I was still strong enough to say words clearly and with a little volume.
“The computer is operated by a screen in front of my face and it follows my eyes so that the cursor moves while I look over the keyboard and I spell the words I want to say.
“As soon as I have completed my way, it speaks out loud for me, in my voice. It is a very smart piece of kit. I can also use it to send messages directly on WhatsApp, which has given me some independence when it comes to communicating with friends.
“When it comes to the loss of my voice, I knew this would happen. But it has been faster than I expected. This disease has no class. It has no empathy.
‘Little by little, I am brought back. But what can I do?
“My real concern is now swallowing, which has become increasingly difficult as the muscles around my throat have become weaker.
“This is where the disease leads. Losing my ability to walk seemed the worst. I initially thought I could record something like a wheelchair rugby. Maybe even the Paralympics.
“But after the diagnosis, I realized that I could not prevent the disease from attacking other parts of my body until nothing worked anymore.
“Looking at the constant slide is so difficult for those who are closest to you. I wish I could just give Gaynor a big bear hug and tell her that it will be good. I can’t put my arms around her and show her how much I love her.
“I feel hopeful that I still have enough time to enjoy this summer, because the cricket season brings the weather that I love again.”
Last year Lawrence lost the use of his legs and spent weeks in the hospital undergoing tests before MND was confirmed.
He added: “Everything I could think of were images of the former Rugby League star Rob Burrow And how he was at the end. A fraction of the size he used to be. Not able to talk, move or express them outside a computer.
“How do you deal with what is effective is a death sentence?”
** In Syd’s voice – The extraordinary life of Dave Lawrence is Published on Thursday.
A minimum of £ 0.50, evenly distributed between the MND Association and the confidence of the cricketers, are donated for every copy sold.
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