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EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: How Princess Beatrice was sent to buy food for a hungry David Cameron

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While still in the political wilderness, David Cameron turned up for a board meeting of US software company Afiniti at Millbank. Dissatisfied with the lack of sandwiches and rolls for the director’s refreshment, he complained.

A message was conveyed to a young female worker to go out and buy some food for the starving ex-prime minister. Who was the angel of mercy? Step forward Princess Beatrice, now ninth in a row on the throne.

David Cameron complained during his absence about the lack of refreshments at a board meeting of an American software company

Princess Beatrice, now ninth in succession to the throne, was sent to get David Cameron his refreshments

Princess Beatrice, now ninth in succession to the throne, was sent to get David Cameron his refreshments

Bishop of Hereford Richard Jackson, who attended Camilla’s coronation, has been rewarded by Charles. He becomes the king’s clerk. But Richard’s new royal salary isn’t enough for a fancy crozier or a hand-painted miter. He receives €7 per year.

New episodes of The Crown prompted ex-royal butler Paul Burrell to claim to ITV’s Lorraine that Diana tasked him – then romanced with Dodi Fayed – to gauge the reaction of her lover, heart surgeon Hasnat Khan.

“So I was going to have a drink with Hasnat and report back to the princess,” he claims. “I’d say, ‘He’s furious with you.’ There you are, putting yourself on display with another Muslim man…he’s not happy with you.’

Isn’t it time that Burrell was gently muzzled and prevented from making further inroads at the expense of the late Princess of Wales?

Reformed hellraiser Tracey Emin, pictured regularly quenching her camel’s thirst at Soho’s seedy Colony Room Club, was expected at the reopening in Heddon Street on Wednesday. Unfortunately she didn’t show up.

Tracey Emin was expected at the reopening of the Colony Room Club, but did not show up

Tracey Emin was expected at the reopening of the Colony Room Club, but did not show up

Did she have a quiet night with her cats? “Tracey was supposed to come, but she got the wrong appointment,” whispers TV agent Amanda McAllister. “She showed up three days ago.”

When Jeremy Corbyn and Len McCluskey announced their Poetry For The Many anthology in the summer, collaborator Russell Brand got the top mention on the front cover. Brand, who is now facing allegations of sexual misconduct, does not appear in the completed tome.

Jeremy Corbyn and Len McCluskey's 'Poetry for the Many' is dedicated to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange

Jeremy Corbyn and Len McCluskey’s ‘Poetry for the Many’ is dedicated to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange

But did troubadours drop Jezza and Len Brand for that reason? The book is dedicated to Julian Assange, who spent years in hiding in the Ecuadorian embassy in London to avoid accusations of sex.

Lord Northcliffe’s biographer, Andrew Roberts, making his first speech in the Lords, reveals that he was expelled from two schools for drinking and climbing buildings, adding: ‘My wife said the only thing I ever have done in my life is drink and social climb. ‘

President Yoon Suk Yeol of South Korea, who arrives on Monday for his state visit, will not miss the late Duke of Edinburgh.

President Yoon Suk Yeol and his wife Kim Keon Hee will arrive in Britain on Monday for a state visit

President Yoon Suk Yeol and his wife Kim Keon Hee will arrive in Britain on Monday for a state visit

After Philip and the queen formally welcomed his predecessor Park Geun-hye during her 2013 visit, the corgis made an unscheduled appearance, prompting Philip to bark at a footman: “Lock the damn things up.” This bunch will think it’s some light snacks we’ve prepared.” A great loss for the diplomatic corps!

Princess BeatriceDavid Cameron

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