I didn’t invite my best friend to my wedding after she told our families that my fiancé had a crush on her before he fell in love with me

A woman has revealed she didn’t invite her best friend to her wedding after she kept saying the groom liked ‘me first’.

In a post on the Reddit forum Am I the ***hole, a 26-year-old woman wrote that she and her best friend, 27, were on bad terms after she repeatedly made her and her fiancé feel uncomfortable in the lead-up to their wedding.

She explained that her boyfriend had previously dated her husband-to-be and that she kept telling their friends and family that she “let the bride have him.”

The bride asked users if she had overreacted, saying she feared she was “ruining a lifelong friendship.”

However, many rushed to comment, saying the friend should have apologized as soon as she was made aware that it made them uncomfortable.

The message read: ‘AITA because I didn’t invite my best friend to my wedding because she kept telling people she dated my fiance first? Sarah (name changed), 27F, and I, 26F, have been friends since birth. We practically grew up together.

‘We were closer in college but then we drifted apart a bit, but until recently I still had a strong bond with her. She’s been there for me a lot and so have I, so it’s hard, this situation.

‘After college, when Sarah was 23, she had a few dates with Justin (name changed) (my fiancé) but then told him she wasn’t seriously interested in anything.

‘Even though I was her best friend, I didn’t really know Justin because she got asked out a lot, but only a few got serious. So I knew about her boyfriends, but not necessarily her dates.

The bride explained that a year after his affair with Sarah, she met Justin and fell in love with him.

She added: ‘Almost a year after that I moved in with Sarah and we became close again. After this I met Justin.

‘We quickly became good friends. I often talked about him to Sarah, but when I showed her his photo, she recognized him and told me about her dates with him.

‘Friendships were more important to me than any man, so I asked her if it was okay to go out with him because I really liked him. She said she had no problem with it and joked that it would turn into a relationship one day, which I took as a joke.

In a post on the Reddit forum Am I the ***hole, a 26-year-old woman wrote that she and her best friend, 27, were on bad terms after she repeatedly made her and her fiancé feel uncomfortable in the lead-up to their wedding

‘Justin and I got serious very quickly, he is my soulmate. But by then, Sarah and I had lost touch a bit since I’d moved in with Justin, and work became more of a priority.

“Until I got engaged, she would still joke to me and Justin that she didn’t think we would be that into each other, and at the time I thought it was funny because Justin is the complete opposite of me.

“After I got engaged, she got really weird. She was very shocked and couldn’t believe it. Later she told me that I was too young to get married, and if I’m sure, but I only saw this as concern. Although she agreed to be my MOH along with my sister.

‘Then I posted on my Instagram about our engagement and people reposted it and congratulated us. But Sarah simply captioned it with the caption, “You better mention me in your vows because he liked me first haha.”

“Justin felt very uncomfortable, and so did I, but I defended her by saying it’s just Sarah, she jokes a lot. But I still let her know it was a little awkward and she said she was just joking.

‘After Christmas we had a dinner party and that day Sarah kept telling all the friends and family that Justin was going out with her for the first time, that she could give him to me, things like that.

“Even after telling her it wasn’t okay, she still made jokes. Later I told her that she was crossing my boundaries and that it wasn’t okay, to which she said I was overreacting. I finally told her not to come to my wedding at all.

She concluded, “I thought a lot afterward. Right now, people who know about this are just taking sides based on who they know best.

‘I’m afraid I’ll ruin a lifelong friendship if I’m not even right. What if it really was just a joke to her and I don’t understand it? But she is not supportive or positive, which I think is unfair. I am confused.’

Many sided with the bride, saying it was clearly not a joke when she made it clear she was uncomfortable with it.

One person said: ‘I think she loses any right to claim it was ‘just a joke’ if you’ve expressed discomfort and asked her to stop. You have every right to maintain your boundaries, even if it means ending a long friendship.

‘If she were a good friend, she would value your feelings over her need for attention – and I think that’s clearly what this is about. It’s also strange that people take sides in this; there is literally no reason for that and they should actually start behaving like adults.”

Another agreed, saying: ‘Exactly. When I make a joke that doesn’t land, or someone tells me it makes them uncomfortable (not often, but I struggle with that sometimes), the first thing I do is apologize. The second thing I do is remember that it’s not something to ever say again.

“It’s a joke” is just a (semi) reasonable defense, before you know it, it makes someone uncomfortable. Once you know it, if you repeat it, you are an AH.”

Another said: ‘And bye I tell this stupid story over and over, she tries to make it all about her. I can’t stand not being the center of attention, which ties right into your point about her friend getting married before she does.”

Others suggested that her best friend is clearly jealous and wants the attention to be on her.

One person said: ‘She’s just embarrassing herself at the moment. It makes her look petty and jealous, which is only made worse when it ruins her friendship with OP.”

Another agreed, saying: ‘Take her out and save yourself some embarrassment on your wedding day because her jealousy will definitely make her do something, especially if she’s drunk.’