'My sister and I were forced to marry strangers in our teenage years. That's why I fought so hard to change the law': meet the inspiring woman who campaigned to raise the marriage age to protect girls from abuse after her sister was tragically murdered

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When she thinks of her sister, Payzee Mahmod fondly remembers how they laughed together in their bunk beds.

Payzee and Banaz were born seventeen months apart and looked so alike that strangers thought they were twins. They traded clothes and makeup. They styled each other's hair and shared dreams for the future. Payzee holds on to these moments tightly because she has another horrific memory: seeing her sister's body in a hospital morgue.

“The police didn't want me to see her,” says Payzee, now 32. “But I insisted. It was the only way I could truly believe she was dead.”

Banaz, who was 20, was murdered on the orders of her family in a so-called “honor killing” after she left her husband and started a new relationship. Her new partner, Rahmat Sulemani, was so devastated that he later committed suicide.

Payzee's father, uncle and others were imprisoned in this gruesome case.

The image of her older sister's body has haunted Payzee ever since. But it also pushed this remarkable young woman to do something extraordinary.

Payzee has spent the past six years campaigning to ban child marriage and other honor-based abuses, using her own story.

It is largely thanks to her that on April 26, 2022, the legal age limit for marriage was increased from 16 to 18 years. No marriage can now take place under the age of 18 and no child can be brought into or out of Britain to be married. .

But Payzee's campaign isn't over yet. She wants all marriages to be officially registered so that women from migrant communities also have access to divorce courts. “If their wedding is only a religious ceremony, they are not legally married and therefore have fewer rights to divorce,” explains Payzee, who lives in London with her husband and their two-year-old son.

Speaking about the changes in the law, she added: “I am beyond proud. And my sister played a big role in this. What she suffered started with a child marriage.”

Payzee's parents are Iraqi Kurds who fled Saddam Hussein's regime and arrived in London with Payzee, then 11, Banaz, their three other daughters and a son.

The girls had already undergone female genital mutilation, an abusive practice that is widespread abroad but illegal in Britain.

When Payzee was 15, her older sister Bekhal fled their home in Mitcham, Surrey, and spent time in foster care.

“It was seen as a shame on the family,” Payzee said. “So Banaz and I were used to bringing back 'respect' – and that meant getting married off quickly.”

Banaz married first and, after meeting her 28-year-old husband just three times, moved to the West Midlands. She was seventeen. Her family described the older man as 'the David Beckham of husbands', but in reality he was violent and cruel.

She reported him to the police many times, accusing him of rape and regular assault. “We spoke regularly, so I knew she was unhappy, but I was helpless,” Payzee says. 'Meanwhile my father told me that he had found a husband for me. He was tall and bald and almost twice my age.

'I remember the first time I was in this room with him. I was told not to talk or make eye contact. I had to be shy, like a good girl. Then I was taken to the shops to buy clothes and jewellery [for the wedding].

'I was 16. All my friends met in the park and talked about fashion and music. Within a few weeks we were married. I'd never been away overnight before, but here I had to pack all my stuff and live with this complete stranger.”

After two and a half years, Banaz left her husband, which angered her family. She returned to their home and fell in love with Rahmat Sulemani, a family friend.

In January 2006, Rahmat reported Banaz missing.

“I hadn't heard from her in a long time, but it never occurred to me that she had been murdered,” Payzee said. 'When my father was arrested, I still couldn't process it. I sat in the courtroom completely shocked.'

A terrified Banaz had told police four times that her life was in danger and begged for help. They didn't believe her. One officer dismissed her as “manipulative.”

It emerged that she had been raped and tortured in her family's home in December 2005 on the orders of her father and uncle, before being strangled with a ligature.

Her body was put in a suitcase and taken to a house in Birmingham, where it was buried in the garden, where it was discovered by police three months later. Meanwhile, Payzee fought to leave her marriage. “My husband was abusive,” she says. 'What happened to Banaz made me determined to escape. My husband agreed as long as I signed a paper stating that I had been unfaithful, which was not true. I found a lawyer and got divorced in May 2006. My parents were strongly against that.'

Within a month, Payzee divorced, buried her sister and turned 18. She moved between flat stocks and began a degree in psychology at London's Metropolitan University, but dropped out before completing it. She began to bury her pain in drink and drugs.

“It was 10 years of total self-destruction,” she says. 'I refused to talk about it. Even my best friends didn't know my story.'

Still, Payzee built a career in fashion, starting in sales at Alexander McQueen.

In 2016, ten years after Banaz's death, Payzee finally confronted her past.

“I was talking to my partner,” she says. “And I blurted out the whole story. I thought he was going to leave. But he assured me that I was the victim. It wasn't my fault. So I gradually started telling close friends. Their response was always friendly.”

In 2018, Payzee was at the gym when an item came on the news. “A man had stabbed his wife and mother-in-law to death after his wife left him,” she said. 'I was rooted to the spot. Like my sister, this young woman knew she was in danger and had filed numerous complaints with the police. Yet she was ultimately murdered in a gruesome manner.

'My sister had been dead for twelve years. How can this still happen? A blazing fire had been lit. I knew I had to do something.'

Payzee contacted the Iranian and Kurdish Women's Rights Organization (IKWRO). The charity campaigns for Iranian, Kurdish, North African and Afghan women's rights had been a huge support during Banaz's trial. “I offered to do what I could,” she says.

IKWRO campaigned for a bill to ban all forms of child marriage, and Payzee realized she had found her cause. In 2020 she became a campaigner there.

“Every time I spoke, at first it was like a deep wound was opening,” she says. 'But I couldn't give it up. I have accepted every invitation to tell my story.'

Getting the Marriage and Civil Partnership (Minimum Age) Bill through the House of Commons and House of Lords was exhausting, especially after Payzee became pregnant in 2021.

“Baroness Sugg dedicated the bill to me, another survivor and my sister during a final debate in the House of Lords before it became law. I could have cried for joy,” Payzee said.

'Nothing can bring Banaz back. But so much has been done in her memory. And I will never stop campaigning for all women. Everyone can bring change. You just have to believe in it and never give up.'

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The closing date for entries is Wednesday February 14, 2024 at 11:59 PM. The editor's decision is final.

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