Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are so OVER! After ramming their insufferable ‘love story’ down our throats, MAUREEN CALLAHAN says this talentless, narcissistic duo were doomed from the start

This impending divorce could not have happened to a more deserving, insufferable couple.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez — who have been ramming their all-consuming, ultra-special “love story” down our collective throats for the past two years and most of early childhood — are about to break up again.

Stevie Wonder saw this coming. Everyone saw this coming — except, it seems, Ben and J.Lo.

“Everyone thought I was crazy,” Lopez told Variety three months ago. “And besides, I thought I was crazy.”

She didn’t talk about this new marriage, her fourth, or her need to be taken seriously as a singer who can’t sing, or her determination to organize a concert tour that was only doomed to failure – as it is now case, canceled last week in a new humiliation.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez — who have been ramming their all-consuming, ultra-special “love story” down our collective throats for the past two years and most of early childhood — are about to break up again. (Pictured last month).

Stevie Wonder saw this coming. Everyone saw this coming except, it seems, Ben and J.Lo. (Pictured this weekend).

No: She was talking about her multimedia tribute to Affleck and their love, in album form, film score form and an accompanying $20 million self-financed documentary, a vision that Hollywood execs simply couldn’t understand and wouldn’t support.

“Prince did it with ‘Purple Rain,’” she says in the documentary.

Is she real? Prince was a genius, an original, a sui generis artist. Jennifer Lopez is a flat singer who probably owes her career to autotune and her scandalous time with Diddy (who, karmically, may come back to bite her).

But that’s the level of delusion in Lopez’s la-la land. Even a warning from her old manager, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, wasn’t enough to stop her.

“I was concerned,” Goldsmith-Thomas said of Lopez’s plans. She asked Lopez, “Why are you sharing your story? It’s too personal. Stop.’

Precisely! We got the memo, Jen: You won the morose alcoholic gambler who allegedly screwed his children’s nanny behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner’s back (which, of course, was fervently denied) and then left Garner on his way to rehab stop for fast food! It’s a love story for all ages! All along you were The One, you lucky girl!

You can’t sell people on what they know is complete BS.

Affleck has been walking around for almost a year looking miserable – granted, it’s his factory default setting – slamming car doors with J.Lo in the passenger seat, sitting glumly at the Grammys while she apparently yells at him to look motivated to see. !’, or tolerate horrible awkward kisses from her as if he is being administered a painful medicine.

J.Lo should have known. When she reunited with Affleck — fresh off her then-fiancé Alex Rodriguez having to deny he was caught punching a reality TV star, oh the shame! – they told the world that they had called off their first wedding, planned for September 2003, due to media attention.

“I’d say it was about 50 percent [of what destroyed our relationship]Affleck told Howard Stern.

The remaining 50 percent must have been the reports that while filming in Canada, weeks before their wedding — and just hours after their lovelorn “Dateline” interview aired — Affleck allegedly performed oral sex on a stripper, at a strip club , in front of his co-stars.

By the way, the idea that Affleck is a serious artist who can’t stand publicity or paparazzi, who puts up with what he has to do to create, is also completely nonsense.

He spent most of the pandemic organizing paparazzi walks with his then-girlfriend Ana de Armas. When they broke up, he made sure photographers got a photo of her life-size cutout in his trash can.

After divorcing Garner in 2018, he essentially blamed her for his alcoholism.

“I’d probably still be drinking [if we had not divorced]Affleck told Stern. “Part of the reason I started drinking alcohol was because I was depressed.”

Stylish guy.

We got the memo, Jen: You won the morose alcoholic gambler who allegedly screwed his children’s nanny behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner’s back (which, of course, was fervently denied) and then left Garner on his way to rehab stop for fast food! It’s a love story for all ages! All along you were The One, you lucky girl! (Pictured in 2003).

You can’t sell people on what they know is complete BS. Affleck has been walking around looking miserable for almost a year, slamming car doors while J.Lo sits in the passenger seat, sitting glumly at the Grammys while she apparently yells at him to ‘look motivated!’. (Photo: their wedding in 2022).

Affleck recently appeared at Tom Brady’s roast, sounding and looking unsteady — yet sources close to him are blaming the famously clean-living Lopez for the impact her “lifestyle” is having on their marriage.

Now he’s wandering around LA, waving his hands so we can all see he’s wearing his wedding ring, currently spending $100,000 a month on a Brentwood rental.

This is who Ben Affleck is. He’s the man whose camp apparently provides information about his total victimization by J.Lo, a woman who can’t keep quiet for a second about the great Ben Affleck.

“If there was a way to divorce on grounds of temporary insanity, he would do it,” a source said last week. “He feels like the last two years were just a fever dream, and he has now come to his senses and understands that this is just not going to work.”

Most women, when their husbands humiliated them in this way, threw his clothes in the front yard, changed the locks, lost his number, and quickly called the best divorce lawyer in town.

Not our J.Lo. Clinging on for dear life, she watches through a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical flops of the Affleck-centric album and its accompanying films, all that cultural relevance and romance – it’s hard to say which she appreciates more – which circles the proverbial drain.

Hey, if these two malignant narcissists can’t make it work, who can?

At least we got some great performance art out of it. Here is a selection of what we experienced during this restart:

• Two weddings, one a quickie in a Las Vegas chapel, all documented on J.Lo’s Instagram and she was feeling suspiciously desperate on her part.

• Shopping voraciously for eight-figure homes on both coasts.

• J.Lo’s tribute album to Ben, ‘This Is Me… Now’, features a song with these awful lyrics: ‘Missing your body/Climbing on top of me/Slippin’ inside of me/Way that I ride it/Bodies aligning/ Look to our timing.’ She and Ben both have school-age children.

• Lopez – in her documentary – brandishes a thick folder, given to her by Affleck, that contains all their love letters from 2001 to the present. This timeline overlaps with Affleck’s marriage to Jennifer Garner, the mother of his three children. Talk about an unnecessarily cruel cut.

And hasn’t Garner suffered enough?

The key difference here is that people actually rooted for her. She seems decent, sympathetic and has never commercialized her relationship with Affleck.

J.Lo, however…it’s hard to support someone so limited, talentless, and self-centered. Who rejoices in her happy marriage until she doesn’t anymore. Who shut out a reporter who asked the only question a decent reporter would ask: What’s going on with your marriage?

“You know better,” J.Lo chided last month.

Who is she kidding? Only themselves, it seems.

J.Lo is clinging to his life, watching the barrel of a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical flops of the Affleck-centric album and its accompanying films, all that cultural relevance and romance circling the proverbial drain. (Pictured last week).

Maybe Ben’s bad behavior will keep her from giving up the fight for this marriage. Maybe she’ll learn something, disappear for a while, and then reappear with some humility.

Maybe. But probably not.

Here’s her seemingly adoring husband in her documentary, talking about how he sees her: Like a bottomless pit of need!

No amount of love, he tells us, or success, fame or fortune will ever make her happy.

Doctor, heal yourself.

“In Jennifer’s case,” he says, “I don’t think there are enough followers or movies or records or anything like that to fill that part of you that feels that longing, that pain. Ultimately, that is the work you have to do yourself.’

Luckily for her, Affleck seems to be giving her the freedom to try.

And lucky for us, we never have to hear about the world’s greatest love story again!